Loading...
Simply Chic Simply Chic Blog Home

Study: Men's Porn Habits Hurt Women's Self-Esteem

When does a harmless habit become hurtful?

By Kristin Wong Jun 4, 2012 4:39PM

Photo: Patrick Sheandell O'Carroll/Getty ImagesAs a generation of men are growing up with virtual sex lives, their real-life partners are becoming increasingly unhappy, a new study finds. Specifically, young women with porn-loving partners feel they just can't measure up to Jenna Jameson—or whoever happens to tickle their man's fancy.

Destin Stewart is a clinical psychology intern at the University of Florida. After her clients began complaining about pornography use in their relationships, Stewart decided to study exactly how porn use is affecting those relationships.

She surveyed 308 college women (ages 18 to 29) and asked them about their current partner's pornography habits. She also wanted the women's perspectives on their relationship quality, sexual satisfaction and self-esteem. Stewart found that the ladies who reported their partners looked at porn more frequently were not only less happy with their relationships, they also had less self-esteem and were less satisfied with their sex lives.

Stewart told LiveScience that when some women discovered pornographic material on their partner's computer, it made them "feel like they were not good enough, like they could not measure up."

While one might argue that the men weren't there to confirm their habits in the study, it's apparent that pornography is negatively affecting an increasing number of relationships. Psychiatrist Norman Doidge studied the effects of porn use in his patients and then reported the findings in his book, The Brain Changes Itself:

"They reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their actual sexual partners, spouses or girlfriends, though they still considered them objectively attractive." Doidge wrote about his patients. "When I asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography, they answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex, but over time had the opposite effect."

Stewart says that when porn becomes a problem in relationships, she advises women not to compare themselves to porn stars. She also urges couples to communicate and compromise.

"It's just about trying to do some education about what is realistic and unrealistic and trying to get couples to be honest about what their wants and needs and desires are," Stewart said.

As much as we women would love our men to only have eyes for us, let's face it. As long as there are women willing to do anything, everything and put it out there for the world to see, men are going to look. But Aristotle said to seek moderation in all things, and while I don’t think he was referring to watching online porn, it's not bad advice.

Tell us on Facebook: Do you think porn is hurtful or harmless?

Photo: Patrick Sheandell O'Carroll/Getty Images

More on love & sex from MSN Living:

10 Ways to Improve Your Love Life (Right Now!)
The Secrets to Great Sex (in 50 Words or Less)
5 Sexy Steps to Get Out of Your Date Rut

 
1006Comments
Jun 4, 2012 8:50PM
avatar

I bet this writer of this article has already read 50 shades of grey and talked about how great it is....... You know, the the story of a whore cheating on her husband with a younger man and has this amazing sex life. Just like the movie the notebook, perfectly fine for a women to do this and its totally over looked. A movie or book about  man doing this would never get the reviews. It would just say we are all pigs....

 

The double standard is gross

Jun 4, 2012 8:50PM
avatar

Regular porn viewing over time reduces a mans ability to be aroused by his partner, isolates him from emotional intimacy, and undermines his relationships. I counsel couples for a living and have been for over 20 years. Porn and internet addiction is now the number one issue facing couples in my practice.  If you view it, stop, and spend that time, getting back into emotional and physical intimacy with your partner. It might take time, but that ability to be aroused by your real woman, will return once fostered.  Porn is destructive to marriage and family life. 

Jun 4, 2012 8:49PM
avatar
nooooo! dont take my porn!!! I watch it thinking of you!!!!  I will wash the dishes!!!!
Jun 4, 2012 8:48PM
avatar
Interesting the author blames the women for feeling this way, like they need to change.  Um, the only real solution is avoid the porn, for loads of additional reasons.  Of course that's the also most difficult.
Jun 4, 2012 8:48PM
avatar
A "harmelss habit" as the author states is probably much more destructive than our society is willing to admit.  It creates a fantasy world that most women and MEN cannot compete with.  My ex-husband is a recovering pornography and sex addict.  We divorced after 24 years of marriage.  Over the last 11 years of that marriage he could not relate to me physically at all.  He was basically impotent.  It destroyed our relationship, which is unfortunate because we seemed to "have it all".  So sad.  Pornography is very dangerous.  It is a cancer to the heart and soul.  Avoid it at all costs.  Nothing of lasting value will come of it.
avatar

Maybe if women we're so damn fat and concentrating on kids more than their mate, the men might be more or as interested in them as in porn.

 

Figure it out you whining bunch of cows.

Jun 4, 2012 8:44PM
avatar
What's really sad is this article posted on June 1st in the Health section and this is just a repost for filler.
Jun 4, 2012 8:42PM
avatar
There is no debate in the connection between porn and physical violence. Studies have shown that it does change the way your brain operates. The only question would be how much?
Report
Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
Categories
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

beauty tips and style advice

  • swimsuit stretching

    The 7 deadly sins of swimsuit care

    Swimwear . . . we have a love/hate relationship with it. Shopping for the perfect style can be a nightmare, but once you've found "the one" you never want to let it go. Which is why we've set out to preserve your beloved bathing suit for as long as humanly possible. And nobody appreciates this more than swimwear designer Melissa Odabash, who has suited stars like Kim Kardashian, Jessica Biel, and Gwyneth Paltrow for the beach. Click through the slideshow to see her commandments that thou shalt not violate this Summer:

  • Emily Blunt

    Steal anti-aging secrets from celebrities in their 30s

    OK, you're pushing 30 . . . don't panic! Even if you were a complete antiaging recluse in your 20s, there is still time to enter the next decade with endless grace and fewer wrinkles. And who better to steal skin care secrets from than the actresses who remain looking forever young? These Hollywood starlets may be in their 30s, but there's nary a dark spot in sight. Their beauty favorites range from drugstore classics to cult luxury elixirs and even a DIY recipe. With this shopping list under your belt, you can celebrate your 30s without a worry line in sight.

  • David Cook

    8 rules of layering your skin-care products

    Instead of just slapping on five creams—then washing your face because, seriously, that stuff is heavy—follow the lead of the pros.

  • Drew Barrymore

    13 things you didn't know you could do with a flat iron

    Forget about simple straightening--the flat iron is so much more versatile than that.

  • Lucky

    Expert tips for doing your own wedding makeup

    Assuming that you’ve had tons of practice doing your own makeup on a daily basis, attempting to do it yourself on your wedding day actually isn’t that much more difficult. After all, no one knows your face better than you do, and chances are you have many of the tools and products that you need for the big day right at your fingertips—you just need to know how to use them.

  • Lucky

    Celeb style icons at every age

    There’s a particular episode of 30 Rock (“Black Light Attack!”, for all the fellow 30 Rock historians out there) in which Jane Krakowski’s youth-obsessed character Jenna goes on a Gossip Girl audition. She thinks it’s for the role of an Upper East Side high schooler, but as she learns in the middle of the tryout, it’s for that of her mother instead. While Tina Fey’s brilliant Liz Lemon later tries to talk Jenna off the cliff, she says, “You can try to fight getting older. You can be like Madonna, and cling to youth with your Gollum arms. Or you can be like Meryl Streep and embrace your age with elegance.”

follow us
follow us follow us on facebook follow us on pinterest follow us on twitter
buzzing now on msn living
Loading...
about our blog contributors
Loading...
style videos
editor's picks
Loading...