Exactly What to Wear to a "Cocktail Formal" Wedding
Plus, how to dress for every other wedding
by Kim Fusaro, Glamour MagazineWhile we were chatting in the comments of this post yesterday, Save the Date reader Lauren_F mentioned that she once got a wedding invitation that indicated guests' attire should be "cocktail formal." Her reaction: "Well, what the hell is that?! I know what formal is, I know what cocktail is, but I don't know what cocktail formal is, so I just showed up in jeans and a t-shirt."
Kidding! "Okay, I actually wore a dress."
I agree that "cocktail formal" is a little bizarre! I would take a simple chiffon cocktail dress and jazz it up with some sparkly accessories, like this. (I can't decide if I love or hate the belt. Thoughts?!) And I think I'd try to fashion my hair in some sort of updo. (I'd probably fail, but I'd try!)
Related: 10 Wardrobe Essentials Every Woman Should Own
Forget Me Knot With Straps from Ivy & Aster, $297. ASOS Bug Buckle Metal Waist Belt, $21.11. Faceted Triple Drop Earrings from New York & Co., $14.95. Lulu Townsend Pump from DSW, $49.95.
Regardless of the attire, if you're in your 20s it's hard to go wrong with a pretty chiffon dress in a muted color. The dress above would work for almost any wedding (except black or white tie) and it has a removable belt and removable straps, which make it extra versatile.
Related: 15 Gorgeous Hair Updates to Try
Here are the rest of my "How to Dress for a Wedding" guidelines. I've shared these before, but they're worth repeating!
White tie is the most clear-cut—and the one you’re least likely to see. This is the only time, as a woman, I’d feel obligated to wear a long dress. Guys wear tuxes with white shirts, ties and vests.
For a black-tie wedding, I’m OK with wearing a dressy cocktail dress and nice shoes. (Rory would wear his tux, which—trust me—is super-cute.) The old rules of etiquette said women should wear long dresses, but as long as you’re in the friends-of-the-bride-and-groom group—as opposed to the friends-of-the-parents group—I think a respectable, not-too-short short dress is fine.
There’s also creative black tie, which means guys are still expected to wear tuxes but they can have fun with their tie selection. (If it’s possible to have fun with tie selection ...) Girls can pair whatever they’d wear to a black tie wedding with funky shoes or a bold bag.
Black tie optional means the guys are free to wear a dark suit or tux. Ladies should just wear what they’d wear to a black tie wedding.
Our wedding invites said formalwear, which naturally confused people. Just because our wedding was outside and started in the late afternoon, we didn’t want our guests showing up in dress shorts and button-downs or sundresses. But we couldn’t say “black tie optional” when the groom and his guys would be wearing suits.
My friend’s mother-in-law somehow slipped casual elegance onto their invites. She wanted guys in suits, but didn’t think ties were necessary. After much deliberation, I wore a cotton Banana Republic dress with dressy heels. Variations on this: afternoon elegant, semiformal or Sunday best.
You might also see cocktail attire, which to me means a suit (dark or light) for the guys with ties optional and a fun cocktail dress for the ladies. While I wouldn’t wear something mini to a black-tie wedding, I’d be comfortable going short if the invite side “cocktail attire.”
For a wedding that fell near the winter holidays, I got an invite that said festive attire. I translated that as “something sparkly.” Thankfully, I have a closet full of “something sparkly.” Rory wore a suit and tie.
I’ve also received invites that said shorts & sundresses and beach casual. (Gotta love a New England wedding!) I wore sundresses—and packed flip-flops—for both.
Oh, and a quick word of advice from Miss Manners: “A wedding guest would of course not dream of wearing a long dress in the afternoon.” Something else to consider.
What’s the weirdest attire request you’ve ever seen on the bottom of a wedding invitation?
Photo: Courtesy of Glamour
More from Glamour:
14 Lies Men Tell Women
35 New Ways to Wear Your Jeans
35 Truths About Marriage (According to Guys)
fashion: trends & must-haves for your wardrobe
-
Shoe envy
Step into spring with style in June Ambrose's new shoe line for HSN.
-
Office remix
Revamp your corporate look with graphic prints and bold color.
-
6 how-tos for younger-looking hair
You may not get wrinkles on your hair, but it ages all the same. Grays, dullness, thinning strands, and frizz are all (unfortunately) part of the hair’s aging process, which starts happening in your 30s. The good news is that you don’t need Botox to fix these problems. Here are six tips for hair that’s shiny, bouncy, healthy—and, yes, younger looking.
-
Michelle Oh!
Our fashion-savvy FLOTUS shows us she is truly a master at mixing high- and low-end designs.
-
Hairstyle of the day
Long, layered, medium or wavy – we’re sharing our favorite hairstyles of 2013 with a new ‘do each day. Stuck in a hair rut? Check back daily for snappy new looks that are sure to give your locks some beauty inspiration.
-
Summer nail art
Get ready for summer with these cute and easy to DIY nail art designs.
-
Ugliest wedding dresses of all time
Brides, it’s your big day and you want to look special. Please, whatever you do, don’t wear one of these wedding dresses. These are truly the worst.
-
The ugliest bridesmaid dresses of all time
Even if you’re the best friend of all time, no bridesmaid should ever have to wear these worst-ever bridesmaid dresses. Lace, ruffles and satin overload!
-
The most flattering hair ideas for every age
As your face changes, so should your hair—the right cut can shave years from your appearance. And while there’s no such thing as an age-appropriate length, there are age-appropriate styles. Here, the 30 most gorgeous hairstyles for every age, as seen on Mila Kunis, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston, Diane Keaton, and more.
-
The most iconic workwear of all time
Stuck in a office-look-rut? Let some of history's most smartly dressed women inspire your everyday uniform.
-
25 of the prettiest Cannes Film Festival dresses of all time
Few spots are as fashionable as the Cannes Film Festival red carpet. Celebrity style stars pull out all the stops—because if you can’t wear a fabulous dress at one of the film industry’s biggest events, in one of the world’s most glamorous locales, when can you? Here are 25 of the masterpieces we still can’t stop staring at.
-
Kate Middleton’s maternity style
From demure dresses to covetable coats, the Duchess of Cambridge has a maternity wardrobe that would make any grown woman wish she could be a princess. Click through the gallery to see some of her most stylish looks while pregnant.
