Simply Chic Simply Chic Blog Home

Study: Men Like Cuddling, Women Prefer Sex

As relationships grow, are gender roles reversed?

By Kristin Wong May 1, 2012 4:50PM

Photo: Paul Bradbury/Getty ImagesYou know the old stereotype that the guy falls asleep right after sex, while the women wants to stay up and cuddle and talk? Well, according to a new study, that's a bunch of bull.

Okay, so researchers put it more eloquently in their 13-page study, titled, "Sexual Satisfaction and Relationship Happiness in Midlife and Older Couples in Five Countries."

Researchers at the Kinsey Institute found that, in long-term relationships, women are more interested in sex, while their male counterparts prefer to cuddle. The five countries targeted in the study were Brazil, Germany, Japan, Spain and the United States and 1,009 couples were studied in the final sample.

The study found that men's relationship satisfaction "depended on health, physical intimacy, and sexual function." But for women, "only sexual functioning predicted relationship satisfaction."

If you consider yourself a fairly progressive person but are somewhat baffled by these findings, you're not alone. It's not surprising that women in relationships enjoy sex, but isn't it a little surprising that they only enjoy sex? Psychologist Dr. Leahcim Semaj was also puzzled by the stats. He told the Jamaica Observer:

"My awareness is that women are the ones who are generally more attracted to cuddling and just being close and want to hug and so on…"

But counselor David Anderson says the study makes sense.

"Once they settle in, and realize the woman is in for the long haul, then the macho guard drops," he told the Observer. "[The man] suddenly becomes the needy baby, the one who can't bear to be in pain; the one who needs comfort when he has a boo-boo; the one who can't stand the sight of blood…"

Wow, okay, I think we get the point, Anderson. As the relationship progresses, men become more comfortable with their sensitive sides; therefore, they might need a little cuddle wuddle time. Totally understandable.

His explanation for the study is that, as the man in the relationship becomes more emotional, "the woman, who has never had an issue with expressing herself emotionally, will want to explore more sexually."

Cuddling? Been there, done that!

Photo: Paul Bradbury/Getty Images

Tags: sex
May 18, 2012 6:42PM
I think most women want to cuddle- yea,ok..with the man's wallet!
May 18, 2012 8:42AM
You don't learn until you are old. My beautiful wife raised a new born while I was in Viet Nam for a year. She too is a veteran. When I came home, we were subjected to ridicule for serving our country. She stood beside me. I traveled for approximately 20 years to make a living for her and our children while she was at home raising the kids and fighting the pharanas of capitalizm. I took her and the kids when we could. In our late 50s we built a dream home, mostly by ourselves, clearing the woods, building a bridge and a road and then doing 95% of the labor on "her little cabin". My wife and her granddaughter dug mud out of the forms for the footings with Dixie cups twice after flooding.  I am now battling my greedy sister over my inheritance from my parents. My sister and her husband / banker and their "Classmate" Petty lawyer want it all. My Wife stands beside me even though the courts are courupt in Illinois and I am destined to lose it all. We are both in fear of losing "her little cabin". She tells me to fight even thought she as as scared as I was while I was in Nam. Sex was always a war zone during our marriage of 44 years as I couldn't get enough, but I still enjoy holding her every night, thank God. You all can talk about sex, beautiful women, studs, rock stars, billionares, etc, but I have the most beautify woman, partner, comrade, hero that you will ever know.  I would never think about giving her up. You will never know the richness I have enjoyed, even when we were poor.    
May 18, 2012 4:59AM
What a hype.  Womaen staying home and doing house work.  I worked long hours and took OT whenever it was available only to come home to a atage play of what happened on the SOAP s that day.  Women have faked sex and life so well they also have the courts believing all that crap.  Women can have all the rights they want but dont include me in their stage work.  Look, 95% 0f divorces in the US alone are filed by women and 93% are granted.  They also get the kiddos just because they are "the weaker sex" and cannot afford to make it on their own.  They get the house because of the kids.  In my divorce I asked fot custody of my three kids and the judge told me I won't have time to take care of them with having to get a part time job to cover my new living expenses.  In the mid seventies I had to pay $1880. child support, $1000. house pymt, and groceries.  I also had to pay for insurance for the kids.  I told the judge that was too much and he said either pay or go to jail.  I moved out of Calif.  Lost my business it took 17 years to build and all the time my wife was an attorney.  Guess who was with child now!
May 17, 2012 9:46PM
And if we women are DUN with wiping noses and asses (raising our kids) since the majority of child care and care of sick relatives falls on women unfairly, in about an 80/20 split, in fact, why should we have patience with babying the grown men we live with? Might be we want sex and then to finally get on to something more fulfilling to us or at least, the housework or office stuff we had to bring home, again. This makes perfect sense, men need to learn to get some emotional needs satisfied with relationships with their kids, extended family and not be so egocentric. 
Go volunteer or spend time with your kids and grandkids, take care of an ailing neighbor or your mother, then see how much time you want to volunteer to coddling a giant toddler.
I'm sure it is a huge relief to be past the point of nursing babies when you walk in the door after work, holding a sick child and mopping up after her at night while the hubs snores in the other room. Men, we don't owe you jack. Good for us to be abole to reach an age and confidence where we can get laid and move on to the next item without feeling obligated to give the men all that time they feel is their right to demand now that the kids are gone and they aren't being "cheated" out of it.
There is a reason more women are killed by their partners during pregnancy, men being jealous of the baby, too immature to find emotional and physical satisfaction with the cuddling of their own children and resenting that a woman can, and must since they cannot....I want to kick every guy in this study square in the nuts after reading this. Find another source of comfort, like giving back to those in need. Stop treating your partners like your mommy.
May 17, 2012 11:43AM
In my observation this is actually pretty true, but like with everything there are exceptions to the rule and different individuals.
May 16, 2012 8:41PM
In my experience this study is way off the mark but statistics don't apply to individuals they apply to groups. It is kind of like decisions by committee no one is responsible, in a study the lie can be told and probably not verified unless the study is studied. 
May 16, 2012 6:49AM
I don't know any man that likes to cuddle, including myself. I think this study is totalm BS. That guy that has sex, then falls asleep...that would be me.
May 16, 2012 2:51AM
I find this so interesting... when men like cuddling, it is stated:

"[The man] suddenly becomes the needy baby"

But when women like cuddling, it is described like this:

"the woman, who has never had an issue with expressing herself emotionally,"

So for a woman, it is emotionally expressing herself, for a man it is becoming a needy baby. Thank you so much Mr. Anderson. Your insight is truly useless, sexist ideology of years gone by. I guess men are nothing but sex beasts that become needy babies and women are in touch emotionally and want to explore sexuality. So VERY interesting. The analysis of the data is actually more telling of how our society skews information to its real goal. Great job! Keep it up. Guys, you can't win even if you like to cuddle... uggggggghhhhh!

Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

beauty tips and style advice

  • Mimu Maxi photo (Photo: Courtesy of Instagram)

    Why are people freaking out over this photo?

    Controversial.... Or empowering?

  • Denim upgrades

    18 denim downgrades that are total fashion upgrades

    These jeans aren't just distressed; they're destroyed — and all the cooler for it. They're also the perfect way to make a basic T-shirt feel totally wild.

  • Angelina Jolie

    Wedding dresses of the famous

    After almost a decade together and six children, power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie finally made it official on Saturday, August 23 in Chateau Miraval, France. As we wait for photos of the highly anticipated affair, let's take some time to reminisce with some recent and past famous gorgeous gowns.

  • g1

    Hightops, lowtops, and slip-ons, oh my! Master fall’s sneaker trend

    Good news for your feet: Sneakers are everywhere this fall. Fashion insiders and celebs alike are sporting athletic shoes with their chicest outfits, making them an essential fall fashion trend. With an abundance of styles in stores right now, it might seem daunting to find the pair that’s right for you. We handpicked the 35 best sneaker styles to try.

  • g1

    The 20 best ankle boots for fall

    We’re just going to say it: Ankle boots might be are our favorite type of boots. They’re tough like classic motos when paired with skinny jeans or leather pants. But they also work in place of fussy heels with a flared skirt or cocktail dress for an unexpected downtown-cool vibe. And, let’s be honest, the ankle height just feels more relaxed and comfortable. Never mind that booties take up way less room in your closet too. Wait. Do you know what that means? You can buy more than just one pair this fall—especially since ankle boots come in so many styles, shapes, colors, heel heights, and price points. So check out these 20 booties for fall.

  • g1

    15 completely chic fall coats and jackets for every budget

    Fall just gives us the warm fuzzies—and not because of the turning of the leaves, football games, or the excuse to eat pumpkin-flavored everything. We can finally wear our very best coats incorporating the newest fashion trends (and there are so many options out there). So make the most of this wonderful time—before the puffy-jacket-required winter rears its blustery head—with these 15 coat and jacket picks for all budgets.

  • g1

    Hairstyling mistakes you’re probably making right now

    As beauty editors, we thought we had heard (and made!) every hairstyling mistake out there. We no longer use uncoated elastics or rough up our hair with a towel when we get out of the shower, and we even fully embrace the benefits of hair masks. But during a visit with Herbal Essences celebrity stylist Charles Baker Strahan, we learned some new, seriously next-level tips. Read on for better hair days ahead.

  • Courtesy of ASOS

    Confused by culottes?

    Expert tips on how to style the newest fall fashion trend.

  • g1

    6 beyond-chic transitional outfit ideas to take you from summer to fall

    Transitioning your wardrobe from season to season is a masterful fashion feat (a.k.a. it’s just plain hard). While it’s not quite the right time to bust out the fall fashion trends just yet, that head-to-toe white look that you worked all summer isn’t really going to work anymore either. So what’s a stylish girl to do? Let’s look to these fashion influencers and see how they rock the in-between season with great aplomb! The chicest summer-to-fall outfit ideas you have ever seen are right this way.

  • Getty Images

    The 20 most iconic cat eyes of all time

    There isn't a single beauty trend that's as high drama, sultry, and decidedly timeless as the cat eye. Through the decades, the feminine flick has graced the lash lines of many of the greats, from '50s silver screen siren Sophia Loren to modern crooner Lana Del Rey. As an ode to the winged liner look, we're looking back at the most 20 most iconic iterations on the illustrious women that made them famous. Learn how to paint on perfect black winged eyes here.

  • The Limited Too

    20 fashion moments every kid of the ’90s will remember rocking their world

    Even though the ’90s and early aughts seem rather far off now that those of us who grew up then have graduated to full-on careers, families, and investment bags, I’m here to let you know: get millennials started talking about the style moments and must-buys that peppered their history and you can’t shut them up. When we had the chance to play around with some of Coach’s new fall bags, it managed to bring up a group-wide memory of living for the brand’s wristlets, circa freshman year of college. From there, the memories of stuff I wanted so bad, from elementary school onward, came pouring out. I’m presenting it all here, supplemented with some contributions from the rest of the Glamour team.

  • How to look good in a selfie

    How to look good in a selfie

    We’re living in the age of the selfie. This year, the word was officially added to the dictionary (we even got variations, like “belfie”—we’ll let you Google that one); the entire Obama family got in on the act; and a major TV network added a show called Selfie to its fall lineup. Oh, and you didn’t even have to watch this year’s Oscars to know that the biggest winner of all was not a film, but in fact the selfie. So it’s about time you learn how to take a really, really good one.

follow us
follow us follow us on facebook follow us on pinterest follow us on twitter
Most Popular
buzzing now on msn living
about our blog contributors
style videos
editor's picks