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No one looks good in these summer fashion trends

Don't let the summer heat cloud your fashion judgment.

By Redbook Mag Jul 17, 2013 7:08PM
by Lauren Le Vine

Some of these garments and trends might sound good in theory, but in reality, everyone should stay far, far away. Please understand that we're only doing this for your own good.

Print overloadPhotos: Julianne Hough // Courtesy of Redbook

Peplum: Adorable
Cigarette pants: Cute
Choppy bob: Totally chic

Looking like my grandmother's couch: Probably not the look Julianne Hough was going for when she put on this matchy-matchy ensemble. Kudos to her for taking a fashion risk — and seriously, she even looks great in this outfit — but if you want to do a print on both top and bottom, please differentiate between the two. Team Red's fashion guru Rachel Roy has expert advice for pulling it off.

Music festival attire … everywhere

You're at a hair salon, Vanessa Hudgens.

We're all flower children who love a good boho skirt, but today's music festival ensembles have become this grotesque mix of hippie, fortune teller, Jack Sparrow à la "Pirates of the Caribbean" pieces with John Lennon glasses. I hate to break it to you, but we're never going to recapture the Summer of Love experience in muddy upstate New York when we're standing on beautifully manicured grass Instagramming a Tupac hologram — and the other hand's clutching a bottle of water, not making a peace sign. It is possible to attend a summer concert in a non-ridiculous outfit. How about that new maxi dress? It looks great on you!

There's a time and place for cutouts

Love Kelly Rowland's dress, just not at work.

You stuck to our Get Your Body Back Challenge, and you've got the amazing obliques to prove it. Plus, cutout dresses are totally on trend for 2013 — they've been popping up on red carpets everywhere. So what's our beef? It's not that we don't love playing peekaboo; we just don't think it should be played at work. It's only June, and we've already seen one too many ribcage tattoos that should probably remain under wraps in an office setting.

Photo: FOX

Shirts that aren't really shirts

Someone's in for a show.

These are pieces of fabric with vague cutouts for your head and arms that are larger than the surface area of remaining material. If we were giving awards for effectiveness of shirt performance, these garments would win Worst Everything, because they're hardly present enough to satisfy a "No shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. The "shirts" are usually worn (although not in the picture seen here ... brazen!) with brightly-colored bandeau bras because despite the lack of visible garment, wearers are concerned that their bra straps will show. She wouldn't want that, even though you can see her entire bra from the side, and when she leans forward, it's like, whoomp, there everything is.

Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters

So. Much. Sheer.

This doesn't even work on the red carpet.

Similar to cutouts, sheer clothing has a time and place, and neither of those is at the office.  

Photo: Getty Images

Rompers

This garment is called the "Simple Song Playsuit." It looks pretty complicated to us, though.

These look good on one person, and one person only: Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley. All others need not apply. And why would you want to when it's such a pain to go to the bathroom?

Photo: Singer22

This

Friends don't let friends wear lampshades as tops.

Photo: Getty Images

Shirtains

Literally what it sounds like: A shirt that appears to have curtains. Drapery is best left adorning your windows, not your waist.

Photo: Courtesy of NastyGal

Drop-waist pants

All right stop ... Hammer time.

Photo: Courtesy of Free People

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Need some summer fashion inspiration? You'll love these fab finds:

13 Throw-On Dresses
Hot Style for a Steal
Your Summer Essentials
16 Easy, Comfy Weekend Clothes

Read more: Summer 2013 Ugly Fashion Trends - Redbook

33Comments
Jul 18, 2013 8:12PM
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The tank with large arm holes makes a good beach cover up, I've had a few of these.  As long as you are comfy who cares!  Besides this critique seems more like a red carpet don't than a summer fashion don't.  I mean seriously, who else wears this stuff?
Jul 18, 2013 7:45PM
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Thank you for the information, and honest fashion advice.

Jul 18, 2013 7:00PM
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I love that greenish "boho" top Vanessa whatever her name is wearing. I would wear that with a black shell and jeans in a heartbeat.
Jul 18, 2013 6:50PM
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REALLY, LIKE ANYONE IS GOING TO STOP WEARING WHAT THEY WANT JUST BECAUSE THIS AUTHOR DOESN'T LIKE THE STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T THINK SO!!!!
LAUREN LAVINE NEEDS TO SHOW THE READERS WHAT SHE'S WEARING SO THAT WE CAN SAY WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S FASHIONABLY KNOWLEDGED OR CHALLENGED... SERIOUSLY.... LAUREN LAVINE: WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU KNOW ABOUT, WE DON'T CARE FOR YOUR OPINION ON WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE IN FASHION.
BTW... JULIANNE HOUGH LOOKS HOT IN ANYTHING SHE WEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE HAS THE BODY TO ROCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jul 18, 2013 6:22PM
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They're called DROP-CROTCH-----NOT 'drop-waist'---The waist is not 'dropped'--the crotch is.  Oy Vey!!! Who writes these articles????
Jul 18, 2013 6:19PM
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I don't care what anyone says...I love rompers!

Jul 18, 2013 6:19PM
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they forgot the high- waisted butt showing shorts all these girls are wearing.
Jul 18, 2013 6:00PM
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   The sheer dress worn over underware - WOW!  This was ugly when Barbara Striesland wore this dress to the Academy Awards in the early19'80's over skinpy bikini underware.  Then NY governor Rockafella was her date.

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