No one looks good in these summer fashion trends
Don't let the summer heat cloud your fashion judgment.
Some of these garments and trends might sound good in theory, but in reality, everyone should stay far, far away. Please understand that we're only doing this for your own good.
Cigarette pants: Cute
Choppy bob: Totally chic
Looking like my grandmother's couch: Probably not the look Julianne Hough was going for when she put on this matchy-matchy ensemble. Kudos to her for taking a fashion risk — and seriously, she even looks great in this outfit — but if you want to do a print on both top and bottom, please differentiate between the two. Team Red's fashion guru Rachel Roy has expert advice for pulling it off.
Music festival attire … everywhere
You're at a hair salon, Vanessa Hudgens.
We're all flower children who love a good boho skirt, but today's music festival ensembles have become this grotesque mix of hippie, fortune teller, Jack Sparrow à la "Pirates of the Caribbean" pieces with John Lennon glasses. I hate to break it to you, but we're never going to recapture the Summer of Love experience in muddy upstate New York when we're standing on beautifully manicured grass Instagramming a Tupac hologram — and the other hand's clutching a bottle of water, not making a peace sign. It is possible to attend a summer concert in a non-ridiculous outfit. How about that new maxi dress? It looks great on you!
There's a time and place for cutouts
Love Kelly Rowland's dress, just not at work.
You stuck to our Get Your Body Back Challenge, and you've got the amazing obliques to prove it. Plus, cutout dresses are totally on trend for 2013 — they've been popping up on red carpets everywhere. So what's our beef? It's not that we don't love playing peekaboo; we just don't think it should be played at work. It's only June, and we've already seen one too many ribcage tattoos that should probably remain under wraps in an office setting.
Shirts that aren't really shirts
Someone's in for a show.
These are pieces of fabric with vague cutouts for your head and arms that are larger than the surface area of remaining material. If we were giving awards for effectiveness of shirt performance, these garments would win Worst Everything, because they're hardly present enough to satisfy a "No shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. The "shirts" are usually worn (although not in the picture seen here ... brazen!) with brightly-colored bandeau bras because despite the lack of visible garment, wearers are concerned that their bra straps will show. She wouldn't want that, even though you can see her entire bra from the side, and when she leans forward, it's like, whoomp, there everything is.
Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters
So. Much. Sheer.
This doesn't even work on the red carpet.
Similar to cutouts, sheer clothing has a time and place, and neither of those is at the office.
Photo: Getty Images
This garment is called the "Simple Song Playsuit." It looks pretty complicated to us, though.
These look good on one person, and one person only: Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley. All others need not apply. And why would you want to when it's such a pain to go to the bathroom?
Friends don't let friends wear lampshades as tops.
Photo: Getty Images
Literally what it sounds like: A shirt that appears to have curtains. Drapery is best left adorning your windows, not your waist.
Photo: Courtesy of NastyGal
All right stop ... Hammer time.
Photo: Courtesy of Free People
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Need some summer fashion inspiration? You'll love these fab finds:
— 13 Throw-On Dresses
— Hot Style for a Steal
— Your Summer Essentials
— 16 Easy, Comfy Weekend Clothes
Read more: Summer 2013 Ugly Fashion Trends - Redbook
LAUREN LAVINE NEEDS TO SHOW THE READERS WHAT SHE'S WEARING SO THAT WE CAN SAY WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S FASHIONABLY KNOWLEDGED OR CHALLENGED... SERIOUSLY.... LAUREN LAVINE: WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU KNOW ABOUT, WE DON'T CARE FOR YOUR OPINION ON WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE IN FASHION.
BTW... JULIANNE HOUGH LOOKS HOT IN ANYTHING SHE WEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE HAS THE BODY TO ROCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The sheer dress worn over underware - WOW! This was ugly when Barbara Striesland wore this dress to the Academy Awards in the early19'80's over skinpy bikini underware. Then NY governor Rockafella was her date.
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