Sex with an ex is common post-breakup
Plus, an expert tells us why revisiting romance is a terrible idea.
For many young adults, "ex sex" is just part of the breakup process. At least that's what a new study from Lucas County, Ohio has found.
Researchers collected data on 792 "emerging adults" between the ages of 17 to 24. All had been in a relationship in the past two years, and the study authors found that nearly half (44 percent) had hooked up with an ex post-breakup.
More on MSN Living: Kissing dos and don'ts
Researchers and relationship experts agree—post-breakup sex is a bad idea. In an article in the Journal of Adolescent Research, the study's authors wrote:
"Those who stay in contact following a breakup continue to feel the pain of the breakup more intensely and may have more difficulty moving on. Previous research found that college students who had sex with their exes mostly described this as a 'difficult or negative event.'"
More on MSN Living: 50 wedding cost-cutting tips from real bridesDating expert Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams agrees. She's a certified dating and relationship coach and has written extensively on the topic of "ex sex." She tells The Heart Beat that young adults may be more likely to hop in the sack with an ex for three reasons:
"Most times it is their first time at love or really bonding with another, and it is hard to break away from those strong attachments."
Second, they lack the experience to realize that "sex with the ex is a dead end street that leads to more pain and heartache." And finally, it’s a familiar and comfortable way to find sexual satisfaction. For young ladies, this may be especially appealing, as they can avoid the stigma of increasing their "sexual number," Williams explains.
Aside from the obvious issue of prolonged heartbreak, Williams says there are a variety of reasons why ex sex is an awful idea.
"My favorite saying is that 'if the paint was wet when you got up, it will be still wet when you try to sit back down!' There is a reason why the relationship ended. Introducing sex into a situation with no boundaries leaves everyone emotionally vulnerable and unable to fully let go and trust each other. This leads to a downhill spiral of dysfunction in the relationship as it removes any motivation for the male to win back the affections of his ex. Sex with the ex is self-torture at it's best."
If youth is wasted on the young, then so is precautionary advice. We've all lived through a time when "do now, think later" was our main mantra. So what if you've already revisited romance and are now dealing with the repressions?
"The only way to start clearing your system of the surge of this hormone is to cut one's self off cold turkey," Williams tells us. "It will hurt at first but with time, a growing self-love and determination, you will wonder what you ever saw in the ex in the first place."
Bing: It's divorce season?!
Photo: Assembly/Getty Images
beauty tips and style advice
Models may be pros at walking with authority, wearing clothes well, and looking good doing practically anything—but if there is one thing that exceeds their fashion prowess, it’s their command of the world’s best beauty products. Backstage each season and on set throughout the year, they road test a mind-boggling assortment of mascaras, foundations, hairsprays, and more. Between having their hair teased within an inch of its life, their makeup applied and reapplied a dozen times in a day, and their skin pushed to its absolute limits, it’s safe to say they’ve figured out which are the most gentle, effective, and transformative formulas on the market. From the world’s sexiest (and most healing) lip balm to the original French pharmacy face cream, here are ten beauty products you can find in almost every model’s medicine cabinet.
After almost a decade together and six children, power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie finally made it official on Saturday, August 23 in Chateau Miraval, France. With photos of Angie's gown just released, take a look at hers and other gorgeous wedding dresses of the famous.
One of the best things about nail art, besides the gazillian likes on your #ManicureMonday post, is experimenting with different looks and designs. With these pro secrets, including celeb nail artist Miss Pop's top tricks, you can create salon-worthy nail art at home!
The newest nail polish colors for fall are so awesome, you'll be wishing #ManicureMonday was every day of the week.
Hey, you want to look more handsome than you already are, don't you? Sure, who doesn't—handsome wins you women, better customer service and because we live in a sick, sad, superficial world, even a higher salary. And thanks to this list, now being handsome is easier than ever. There's expert advice, common sense pointers, and even a couple of tips to help you beat bad, ugly, un-handsome habits. But don't waste your time reading this intro, become more handsome right now.
From cut and color to style, six expert hairstylists give you the scoop on back-to-school's freshest looks.
The Call of the Wild trend has gone from animal print to full-out birds of prey lately, as seen on these stars. Pretty fierce, no?
Ugly, dangerous, or disrespectful, these things have no place at the gym.
These stars prove that the traditionally feminine fabric can be edgy, too.
Beachy waves, soft strands—you can have the dream locks you've always wanted.
Skip the blow-dryer and keep your style effortless. Here, the secrets for gorgeous air-dried hair—straight, wavy or curly—from the man behind Gisele’s coveted waves, Harry Josh, John Frieda international creative consultant.
Ask pretty much any celebrity hairstylist, and they’ll tell you the long bob (a.k.a. the lob) is the chicest haircut of 2014. In addition to throwing around the word “cool” at least twice, they’ll also say it’s because the lob is versatile, easy to style, and timeless. Check out our seven favorite ways to wear it.