Loading...
Simply Chic Simply Chic Blog Home

28 reasons Thanksgiving is the least sexy holiday

Thanksgiving has many wonderful things about it — most of them edible — but it does not include a boost to your sex life.

By Glamour Magazine Nov 19, 2012 11:06PM

By Gena Kaufman
While I love, love, love Thanksgiving and the week of delicious leftovers after it, it has to be said: Thanksgiving is not sexy. In fact, it might be the least sexy holiday ever.

It's got none of the romance of Valentine's Day, it lacks the sex appeal of Halloween costumes, and it's much too cold for outdoor barbecues or pool parties.

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty ImagesMore from Glamour: 10 turn-ons that aren't about looks

Here are just a few things that may contribute to a very unsexy celebration of thanks, whether you're spending it alone or with your guy:

1.       Overcrowded airline travel.

2.       Screaming babies on overcrowded airline travel.

3.       Screaming babies at your grandma’s house.

4.       The hangover you’re nursing after Thanksgiving Eve, the all-important night of judging your old high school friends at the local bar.

5.       Being stuck in traffic.

6.       The huge fight you get in while stuck in traffic.

7.       Your mother.

8.       His mother.

9.       Your drunken aunt who can’t stop asking when you two are getting married already.

10.   His drunken uncle with a wandering eye and penchant for dirty jokes.

11.   Voluntarily sticking your hand into a turkey’s cavity.

12.   Accidentally sticking your hand on a hot pan.

13.   Or jamming a knife in your finger while slicing sweet potatoes.

14.   Political, religious or assorted family drama at the dinner table.

15.   Your sister's three loud kids who spill everything, everywhere. Loudly.

16.   Turkey coma.

17.   Tofurkey coma, if you’re vegetarian.

18.   Pumpkin pie moustache (OK, that's not a real thing but it could be).

19.   The way you both unbutton your jeans to make room for seconds.

20.   Painful indigestion for the rest of the night.

21.   Washing 4,000 dirty dishes and grimy pots.

22.   The hideous sweater he wore because his mom bought it for him.

23.   The matching footie pajamas your mom bought for the whole family to sleep in.

24.   Separate rooms when you’re under your parents' roof.

25.   The fear of overhearing your parents having sex.

26.   The possibility of running into your high school boyfriend while sporting sweats, gravy stains and a greasy ponytail on Black Friday.

27.   The possibility that your mom will find out that you made out with said high school boyfriend on Thanksgiving Eve.

28.   Leftover turkey coma, Day Two.

See? It's just not a holiday that's conducive to sex or romance. And do not suggest spicing it up with some sort of tacky Pilgrim and Native American reenactment.

More from Glamour: 30 sex tips every woman should consider 

But, sexy or not, I'm more than thankful for an excuse to spend time with my loved ones. And by loved ones, I mean my friends, my family and my mashed potatoes.

What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? What other unsexy aspects of this delicious holiday did I forget?

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty Images

Bing: Thanksgiving Day outfit ideas

More from Glamour:
6 signs he's ready for a baby
25 first-date dos and don'ts
9 sex secrets men want you to know

17Comments
Nov 23, 2012 2:53AM
avatar
i dont no i kinda like dressing the turkey
Nov 23, 2012 2:31AM
avatar

My wife just brought me a slice of pumpkin pie and wearing nothing but

a smile and a few dollops of whipped cream.    This is the sexiest

day of my life!!!!

Nov 23, 2012 2:07AM
avatar
It's the least sexy holiday because of all the coats on the bed.
Nov 22, 2012 11:24PM
avatar

Who cares if thanksgiving is sexy.....what a stupid article on a wonderful american tradition.  I am thankful for THANKSGIVING and this wonderful country, faith, family and friends!

Nov 22, 2012 7:00PM
avatar
This is one of the stupidest posts EVER!!! Get off the sexy crap about everything, just for a while, eh? I mean, why must everything have a sexy quotient in the first place? Life is not about sexy; it's about living and trying to enjoy each day, holiday or not.
Nov 22, 2012 5:37PM
avatar
And as far as the sex thing goes, another article advertised on this page has it backwards.  The headline reads, "Love:  Friendship, Dating, Sex, and Marriage."  We need a little more "Friendship, Dating, Marriage, THEN (and only then!) Sex."
Nov 22, 2012 5:34PM
avatar
So why, pray tell, is everything these days measured in terms of sex?  There's more to life than that, you know.  Enough, already!
Nov 22, 2012 4:38PM
avatar
Your uncle snoring in the corner, only waking up occasionally to yell at the TV.
Report
Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
Categories
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

beauty tips and style advice

  • 1

    The 10 most unforgettable wedding dresses in television history

    From Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on Friends to Blair and Serena on Gossip Girl, here are the most memorable wedding dresses to grace the small screen.

  • kate
  • Lucky

    Fall shopping, decoded: How to get the most from every budget

    Smart fall shopping can’t be boiled down to some set-in-stone lineup of items. It’s much more about how you play with what you’ve got rather than just racking up a bunch of new stuff; sometimes your bank account’s balance simply won’t allow for a full-on wardrobe refresh. That’s when it’s important to know what’s worth it—and what isn’t.

  • Lucky

    5 fall fashion must-haves

    Autumn’s just a few short months away, and we’ve got sweaters, coats and booties on our minds! Below are the first things we’ll be buying (or have already bought!) to kick off next season.

  • a1

    Cool collective: Fall’s best products

    Beauty editors are routinely asked to name three essentials they couldn’t live without on a desert island. So here’s our list: water, matches, protein bars. As much as we depend on beauty products, they’re not exactly essential to survival. These luxurious fragrances, nail polishes, and tools are no exception. They’re the anti-basics—hardly your medicine-cabinet staples. They won’t shrink pores or obliterate frizz, but they will make you weak with desire. And that’s a refreshing change of pace. Beyond just looking and feeling great, each of these cool new things appeals to our sense of style. How’s that for an SOS?

  • a1

    Flaming lips: The 8 hottest bright lipstick shades

    You could breeze through the rest of summer with the same sheer balm and nude gloss you always wear. Or you could throw caution to the wind and try one of these superfun, superbright lipstick shades we saw on the spring runways. True red, orchid purple, neon orange—these lipsticks are as bold as they are beautiful.

  • a1

    Look now: Cara Delevingne

    To say Cara Delevingne is trending is an understatement: Her brows are a hot Google search term, she has around 2.8 million (and growing) Instagram followers, and it’s a challenge to find a Pinterest board without her on it. She’s the girl everyone wants to look like (and be BFF with, too). Check out her best beauty moments—and pin away.

  • 1

    12 iconic beauties who make the case for the cat eye

    Like red lipstick, cat eyes owe their timeless appeal to their spectacular, style-defining range that can, depending on application, telegraph Old Hollywood glamour, graphic minimalism, or counter-culture punk—what else do Siouxsie Sioux and Brigitte Bardot have in common? It’s impossible to think of Marilyn Monroe without those heavy-lidded bedroom eyes or Amy Winehouse sans her subversive, exaggerated swipe. A mere sweep of eye pencil transformed Anna Karina from a fresh-faced teenager into a French New Wave style icon, and Sophia Loren’s wide-eyed gaze has been forever etched into our collective memory with a frame of perfectly delineated black powder liner. Today, Alexa Chung gives the look a modern ease with a signature liquid swoosh that feels right whether she’s heading to brunch, the airport, or the red carpet. Here’s a look at the best feline eyes of all time. We feel certain that Choupette would approve.

  • 1

    10 of the sexiest denim campaigns of all time

    Have you ever noticed that denim ads are some of the sexiest? And most memorable? We can’t tell you how many of the people featured on our site, jeanstories.com, swoon as they reminisce about the first time they watched the 1985 Levis’s 501s “Laundrette” TV spot featuring hte handsome Nick Kamen—who ended up , ahem, sans jeans. As for print ads, think Guess, Calvin Klein…not only sexy, but envelope-pushing and groundbreaking. If concerned mothers of America are writing angry letters to their local newspapers about the boob-baring faces of your campaign, you, as a jeans brand, know you’ve done something right.

  • 1

    10 unexpected ways to wear pearls From Head to Toe

    Although summer is winding down and days spent by the beach are numbered, there is one gift of the dog days that we can take with us through fall: the pearl. Whether it is dotting denim or lining sandals, the lustrous rarity has become the embellishment of the season and is no longer confined to your grandmother’s jewelry box. For this week’s Most Wanted, we explore how to make your sartorial world your oyster with the ocean gem, along with some of our favorite “pearls of wisdom” to guide you.

  • s1

    Hair how-to: 8 ways to upgrade your bun

    These buns are haute! Pretty twists spotted on this year’s runway put a couture spin on the go-to bun.

  • Plus-size layering tips

    Plus-size layering tips that work for everyone

    It's far too often that "The Best Styling Tricks Evaaarrrr"-type stories leave you at a loss. Sure, if you had the legs of a supermodel and a closet full of designer goods, you, too, could probably pull off wearing a shoe on your head and your drop-crotch pants backward. But, for real life, where looking not-crazy is as important as looking unique, sartorial advice needs to be more tailored to accessibility, practicality, and what's actually flattering. So, yes, this story is titled "Plus-Size Layering Tips," but we're confident these pointers can benefit everyone's dressing game.

follow us
follow us follow us on facebook follow us on pinterest follow us on twitter
buzzing now on msn living
Loading...
about our blog contributors
Loading...
style videos
editor's picks
Loading...