28 reasons Thanksgiving is the least sexy holiday
Thanksgiving has many wonderful things about it — most of them edible — but it does not include a boost to your sex life.
By Gena Kaufman
While I love, love, love Thanksgiving and the week of delicious leftovers after it, it has to be said: Thanksgiving is not sexy. In fact, it might be the least sexy holiday ever.
It's got none of the romance of Valentine's Day, it lacks the sex appeal of Halloween costumes, and it's much too cold for outdoor barbecues or pool parties.
More from Glamour: 10 turn-ons that aren't about looks
Here are just a few things that may contribute to a very unsexy celebration of thanks, whether you're spending it alone or with your guy:
1. Overcrowded airline travel.
2. Screaming babies on overcrowded airline travel.
3. Screaming babies at your grandma’s house.
4. The hangover you’re nursing after Thanksgiving Eve, the all-important night of judging your old high school friends at the local bar.
5. Being stuck in traffic.
6. The huge fight you get in while stuck in traffic.
7. Your mother.
8. His mother.
9. Your drunken aunt who can’t stop asking when you two are getting married already.
10. His drunken uncle with a wandering eye and penchant for dirty jokes.
11. Voluntarily sticking your hand into a turkey’s cavity.
12. Accidentally sticking your hand on a hot pan.
13. Or jamming a knife in your finger while slicing sweet potatoes.
14. Political, religious or assorted family drama at the dinner table.
15. Your sister's three loud kids who spill everything, everywhere. Loudly.
16. Turkey coma.
17. Tofurkey coma, if you’re vegetarian.
18. Pumpkin pie moustache (OK, that's not a real thing but it could be).
19. The way you both unbutton your jeans to make room for seconds.
20. Painful indigestion for the rest of the night.
21. Washing 4,000 dirty dishes and grimy pots.
22. The hideous sweater he wore because his mom bought it for him.
23. The matching footie pajamas your mom bought for the whole family to sleep in.
24. Separate rooms when you’re under your parents' roof.
25. The fear of overhearing your parents having sex.
26. The possibility of running into your high school boyfriend while sporting sweats, gravy stains and a greasy ponytail on Black Friday.
27. The possibility that your mom will find out that you made out with said high school boyfriend on Thanksgiving Eve.
28. Leftover turkey coma, Day Two.
See? It's just not a holiday that's conducive to sex or romance. And do not suggest spicing it up with some sort of tacky Pilgrim and Native American reenactment.
More from Glamour: 30 sex tips every woman should consider
But, sexy or not, I'm more than thankful for an excuse to spend time with my loved ones. And by loved ones, I mean my friends, my family and my mashed potatoes.
What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? What other unsexy aspects of this delicious holiday did I forget?
Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty Images
My wife just brought me a slice of pumpkin pie and wearing nothing but
a smile and a few dollops of whipped cream. This is the sexiest
day of my life!!!!
Who cares if thanksgiving is sexy.....what a stupid article on a wonderful american tradition. I am thankful for THANKSGIVING and this wonderful country, faith, family and friends!
beauty tips and style advice
Mom jeans are back this spring.
We combed our favorite online shopping haunts to find 20 stunning options for the unconventional bride who'd rather splurge on the perfect flowers and a signature cocktail than her aisle-bound gown. These gowns and frocks from Rae Francis, Black Halo Eve and Jill By Jill Stewart plus one epic jumpsuit by Rachel Zoe are the perfect antidote to the strapless fishtail option most brides seem to favor right now. You're certainly not basic, so why would your dress be?
We've rounded up 10 red carpet inspirations for long hair wedding hairstyles that don't scream "bridal," but are perfect for a walk down the aisle.
We're not in the habit of feeling sorry for supermodels. We reserve our sympathy for a less fortunate set, namely, everyone else on planet Earth.
How to love everything in your closet
Every season, wedding dress designers unveil their latest collections, and without fail, there are a handful of designs that give us pause. We're talking about beautifully designed dresses -- not meant for the fainthearted. For the Fall 2014 and Spring 2015 collections, these are the ones.
For the most part, wedding dress designs tilt toward the more classic and reserved end of the spectrum. And then there are those that really don't. Those would be these. Here, the most risque, come-hither wedding dress designs -- hot off the bridal fashion runways.
Naked lace, dresses with embellished backs, fashion-forward crop tops and so much more. See what's hot.
Real Simple is getting into the fashion game.
It's the hair guide to end all hair guides! Find your texture and length here, then welcome a new problem-solving product into your life.
Let this photo convince you to airbrush and glow-ify your skin in one step. Your perfect-match product is waiting here.
Yellow is a bold statement that too many women think they can't make, but these fashion-foward stars show us how to wear it and shine.