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28 reasons Thanksgiving is the least sexy holiday

Thanksgiving has many wonderful things about it — most of them edible — but it does not include a boost to your sex life.

By Glamour Magazine Nov 19, 2012 11:06PM

By Gena Kaufman
While I love, love, love Thanksgiving and the week of delicious leftovers after it, it has to be said: Thanksgiving is not sexy. In fact, it might be the least sexy holiday ever.

It's got none of the romance of Valentine's Day, it lacks the sex appeal of Halloween costumes, and it's much too cold for outdoor barbecues or pool parties.

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty ImagesMore from Glamour: 10 turn-ons that aren't about looks

Here are just a few things that may contribute to a very unsexy celebration of thanks, whether you're spending it alone or with your guy:

1.       Overcrowded airline travel.

2.       Screaming babies on overcrowded airline travel.

3.       Screaming babies at your grandma’s house.

4.       The hangover you’re nursing after Thanksgiving Eve, the all-important night of judging your old high school friends at the local bar.

5.       Being stuck in traffic.

6.       The huge fight you get in while stuck in traffic.

7.       Your mother.

8.       His mother.

9.       Your drunken aunt who can’t stop asking when you two are getting married already.

10.   His drunken uncle with a wandering eye and penchant for dirty jokes.

11.   Voluntarily sticking your hand into a turkey’s cavity.

12.   Accidentally sticking your hand on a hot pan.

13.   Or jamming a knife in your finger while slicing sweet potatoes.

14.   Political, religious or assorted family drama at the dinner table.

15.   Your sister's three loud kids who spill everything, everywhere. Loudly.

16.   Turkey coma.

17.   Tofurkey coma, if you’re vegetarian.

18.   Pumpkin pie moustache (OK, that's not a real thing but it could be).

19.   The way you both unbutton your jeans to make room for seconds.

20.   Painful indigestion for the rest of the night.

21.   Washing 4,000 dirty dishes and grimy pots.

22.   The hideous sweater he wore because his mom bought it for him.

23.   The matching footie pajamas your mom bought for the whole family to sleep in.

24.   Separate rooms when you’re under your parents' roof.

25.   The fear of overhearing your parents having sex.

26.   The possibility of running into your high school boyfriend while sporting sweats, gravy stains and a greasy ponytail on Black Friday.

27.   The possibility that your mom will find out that you made out with said high school boyfriend on Thanksgiving Eve.

28.   Leftover turkey coma, Day Two.

See? It's just not a holiday that's conducive to sex or romance. And do not suggest spicing it up with some sort of tacky Pilgrim and Native American reenactment.

More from Glamour: 30 sex tips every woman should consider 

But, sexy or not, I'm more than thankful for an excuse to spend time with my loved ones. And by loved ones, I mean my friends, my family and my mashed potatoes.

What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? What other unsexy aspects of this delicious holiday did I forget?

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty Images

Bing: Thanksgiving Day outfit ideas

More from Glamour:
6 signs he's ready for a baby
25 first-date dos and don'ts
9 sex secrets men want you to know

17Comments
Nov 23, 2012 2:53AM
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i dont no i kinda like dressing the turkey
Nov 23, 2012 2:31AM
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My wife just brought me a slice of pumpkin pie and wearing nothing but

a smile and a few dollops of whipped cream.    This is the sexiest

day of my life!!!!

Nov 23, 2012 2:07AM
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It's the least sexy holiday because of all the coats on the bed.
Nov 22, 2012 11:24PM
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Who cares if thanksgiving is sexy.....what a stupid article on a wonderful american tradition.  I am thankful for THANKSGIVING and this wonderful country, faith, family and friends!

Nov 22, 2012 7:00PM
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This is one of the stupidest posts EVER!!! Get off the sexy crap about everything, just for a while, eh? I mean, why must everything have a sexy quotient in the first place? Life is not about sexy; it's about living and trying to enjoy each day, holiday or not.
Nov 22, 2012 5:37PM
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And as far as the sex thing goes, another article advertised on this page has it backwards.  The headline reads, "Love:  Friendship, Dating, Sex, and Marriage."  We need a little more "Friendship, Dating, Marriage, THEN (and only then!) Sex."
Nov 22, 2012 5:34PM
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So why, pray tell, is everything these days measured in terms of sex?  There's more to life than that, you know.  Enough, already!
Nov 22, 2012 4:38PM
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Your uncle snoring in the corner, only waking up occasionally to yell at the TV.
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