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28 reasons Thanksgiving is the least sexy holiday

Thanksgiving has many wonderful things about it — most of them edible — but it does not include a boost to your sex life.

By Glamour Magazine Nov 19, 2012 11:06PM

By Gena Kaufman
While I love, love, love Thanksgiving and the week of delicious leftovers after it, it has to be said: Thanksgiving is not sexy. In fact, it might be the least sexy holiday ever.

It's got none of the romance of Valentine's Day, it lacks the sex appeal of Halloween costumes, and it's much too cold for outdoor barbecues or pool parties.

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty ImagesMore from Glamour: 10 turn-ons that aren't about looks

Here are just a few things that may contribute to a very unsexy celebration of thanks, whether you're spending it alone or with your guy:

1.       Overcrowded airline travel.

2.       Screaming babies on overcrowded airline travel.

3.       Screaming babies at your grandma’s house.

4.       The hangover you’re nursing after Thanksgiving Eve, the all-important night of judging your old high school friends at the local bar.

5.       Being stuck in traffic.

6.       The huge fight you get in while stuck in traffic.

7.       Your mother.

8.       His mother.

9.       Your drunken aunt who can’t stop asking when you two are getting married already.

10.   His drunken uncle with a wandering eye and penchant for dirty jokes.

11.   Voluntarily sticking your hand into a turkey’s cavity.

12.   Accidentally sticking your hand on a hot pan.

13.   Or jamming a knife in your finger while slicing sweet potatoes.

14.   Political, religious or assorted family drama at the dinner table.

15.   Your sister's three loud kids who spill everything, everywhere. Loudly.

16.   Turkey coma.

17.   Tofurkey coma, if you’re vegetarian.

18.   Pumpkin pie moustache (OK, that's not a real thing but it could be).

19.   The way you both unbutton your jeans to make room for seconds.

20.   Painful indigestion for the rest of the night.

21.   Washing 4,000 dirty dishes and grimy pots.

22.   The hideous sweater he wore because his mom bought it for him.

23.   The matching footie pajamas your mom bought for the whole family to sleep in.

24.   Separate rooms when you’re under your parents' roof.

25.   The fear of overhearing your parents having sex.

26.   The possibility of running into your high school boyfriend while sporting sweats, gravy stains and a greasy ponytail on Black Friday.

27.   The possibility that your mom will find out that you made out with said high school boyfriend on Thanksgiving Eve.

28.   Leftover turkey coma, Day Two.

See? It's just not a holiday that's conducive to sex or romance. And do not suggest spicing it up with some sort of tacky Pilgrim and Native American reenactment.

More from Glamour: 30 sex tips every woman should consider 

But, sexy or not, I'm more than thankful for an excuse to spend time with my loved ones. And by loved ones, I mean my friends, my family and my mashed potatoes.

What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? What other unsexy aspects of this delicious holiday did I forget?

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty Images

Bing: Thanksgiving Day outfit ideas

More from Glamour:
6 signs he's ready for a baby
25 first-date dos and don'ts
9 sex secrets men want you to know

17Comments
Nov 22, 2012 4:36PM
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I thought it was funny.  A light start to the day. :)
Nov 22, 2012 4:33PM
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Good grief.....is this some spoiled high school kid writing this? Grow up.
Nov 22, 2012 4:33PM
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Well who wants to play football or even watch it in a dress? Personally I like to be comfy and don't feel the need to impress anyone. I want to enjoy my family and ALL the great food. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE AND GOD BLESS.

 

Nov 22, 2012 3:28PM
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what does giving thanks have to do with being "sexy" ? I am giving thanks for family,friends ,health , a roof over my head , food to eat , and especially for the troops that give their time (and lives) to make the rest possible. This country has been developing a one track mind ; everything has to be about sex. Give it a break , even if just for a day , and be thankful .
Nov 22, 2012 3:06PM
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Get over it.  I think even you can forego the sex for one day. 
Nov 22, 2012 2:50PM
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i didn't kow any holiday was sexy.

is this an intern covering for the regular guy?

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