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Ask A Dude: Do Heels Really Make A Difference?

By Lucky Magazine May 22, 2012 4:29PM
By Lawrence Schlossman, Lucky Magazine

Dear Dude,

From a guy's perspective, do heels really make that big a difference when it comes to a date-night outfit? Do you really care if we wear heels rather than, say, boots or flat sandals? And what if a particular pair of stilettos makes a girl as tall as—or taller than—her man friend?

I would imagine that when you go out on date night, whether it be a first date or just another date with the person you are currently getting to know/seeing/married to/settling with/employed you via Craigslist/etc., you have a certain set of expectations. Now, don't get it twisted—when I say "expectations," I don't mean the kind of exaggerated expectations that tend to follow the typical "women be shopping" dialogue. Simply put, you want the other person to take you and the time they spend with you seriously.

So, while the guy you're dating isn't going to magically show up and be Michael Fassbender, Daniel Craig or (at the very least) Paul Rudd, you'd hope he took things seriously enough to impress you with his appearance. I think the same thing applies in the reverse scenario. Whether or not he is expecting heels, and he probably is because "sexy shoes" are, like, the bare minimum of "fashion" signifiers that the average man understands, I think wearing them is the right move. You and I both know that you put thought—maybe too much thought—into what you're wearing to date night. Your date probably does not. But when he sees heels, I think it's safe to assume that he knows you mean business.

Personally, I have nothing against boots or flats. Actually, I take back the flats part. A cute pair of sneakers or sandals beats those fancy socks masquerading as middle school ballerina practice slippers any day. But for those of you looking to lead by example, I think they fall a little on deaf ears.

As for the worry of being as tall or (gasp!) taller than your man friend, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Everyone knows someone who knows that weird short dude that is creepily obsessed with taller girls. You hear about him and it sounds shocking and bizarre. To be honest, I've never met a guy, short or tall, who had a problem with getting together with a tall woman. Seriously! Let's chalk that one up to ridiculous gender roles, forget about it and talk about how awesome Hillary Clinton is.

Lawrence is a writer living in New York. Got a guy-related fashion question for him? Leave it in the comments, tweet him at @SartoriallyInc or email him on luckydude467@gmail.com.

More From Lucky:
    •    Ask A Dude: First Date Outfit
    •    Ask A Dude: Are Guys Into Cologne These Days?
    •    Ask A Dude: Crazy Nail Art

May 29, 2012 5:20PM
I think it matters about the type of shoes she wears for the the date. For example, If we are going to a movie then high heels seem ridiculous. If we are going out to Dinner and dancing on the town the High heels would be appropriate. The height doesn't matter, But in her heels it say's I am scoring with a tall babe!
May 29, 2012 5:19PM
A flat, or a one or two inch heel, maybe. Something that properly supports the foot and the body, in any case.

A three or four inch heel, or a stiletto heel no matter the height, makes me think a> you're a masochist, b> you're not very practical, and c> you haven't thought about the messages you're sending by wearing a shoe like that.
May 29, 2012 5:17PM
Attitude (self confidence) is the most attractive thing for me and probably why I prefer my wife at age 45 than I do a female in her 20's.  I guess I am just weird because pop culture seems to think I am to have a mid life event and run off with another women or something else stupid.

There is just something about a self confident women that makes all other things such as her outfit not even a consideration as to how and what my first impression will be.

I have been married to my first (and only) wife for 23 years and she is more attractive now then she has ever been.  Her intellect and self confidence overcomes any changes in her looks that age has caused over the years.  I must admit I do like to see her dress up in a nice classic pair of pumps from time to time.    

Folks, for me being married keeps getting better ever year.  I cannot wait to see what is ahead for us when we hit our 50's.  I am the luckiest guy on the planet!

May 29, 2012 5:17PM

Marilyn Monroe put it best......... I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.

May 29, 2012 5:15PM
Cowgirl boots are by far the best choice as long as the outfit matches. To tall or not means nothing for any guy who is secure with himself. But nothing can ruin an outfit quicker than a pair of heels that don't allow the lady to walk normally in. They might be the sexiest shoes of all time paired with the sexiest outfit ever on the sexiest woman ever....But if she can't walk around without looking like she is holding a terd in, it all means nothing. Remember that ladies. Especially the cowgirl boots part.
May 29, 2012 5:15PM

Heels have always made a difference, IMO. I am a brawny, shorter man of 5 ft. 6. I have been with ladies as tall as 5 ft. 11 barefooted; and I still liked it when they wore heels. My former spouse of 20 years is 5 ft. 10 in heels. I have always preferred that a lady wear heels (I am an ardent fan of pin-up pics, past and present) I like what I like.  

May 29, 2012 5:15PM
I like open toed heels.....flip flops.....and stiletto heels...........I love the site of a nice pair of women's feet.........painted toes.
May 29, 2012 5:15PM
I like open toed heels.....flip flops.....and stiletto heels...........I love the site of a nice pair of women's feet.........painted toes.
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