Beach Towels for the One Percent

No one has to know you've never even been to California. Beach Towel, $75, Beverlyhillshotel.com

Wrap it around your waist and clip it at the side, and you'll have a more affordable version of their Aztec-printed kilt skirts. Printed Cotton Beach Towel, $145, Proenza Schouler, Netaporter.com

I'd wager serious money that Lindsay Lohan owns at least two of these. Papaya Skull Print Terry Cloth Beach Towel, $125, McQ by Alexander McQueen, Bluefly.com

Can't feel bad about reading trashy novels when your towel is a piece of highbrow art. Julian Schnabel Towel, $95, Art Production Fund, Openingceremony.us

A classic, and the very first one you should stash in your pool house. "Elephant King" Towel, $550, Hermes, Hermes.com

Oddly way cheaper than I would've expected. Paris Flag Towel, $25, Marc Jacobs, Marcjacobs.com

...Busy spraying myself with Evian mist. Rirkrit Tiravanija Double Beach Towel, $105, Wow!, Shopbop.com

Rectangular towels are for plebians.

Zebra Beach Towel, $225, Maslin, Horchow.com

It'll match about a dozen different colors of the brand's polo shirt. "Crocospeed" Beach Towel, $50, Lacoste, Bloomingdales.com

Annnnd cue the announcer's voice from VH1's "The Fabulous Life." Beach Set, $1,525, Chanel.com