DON’T bedazzle. Seriously.

Anything bedazzled should be gone. I can’t. With the spikes and the bedazzling and the script writing in rhinestones? No. We have to get rid of it.

DON’T rely completely on the mirror.

I’d love to be able to say, “Look in the mirror to see what works best, and you’ll know,” but most people don’t know. Sometimes I don’t! We’re just not the best judges of ourselves, because we’ve been looking at our reflections for our entire lives. I thought blue looked like crap on me, and one day I wore a navy jumpsuit, and everyone was like, “Why don’t you wear more blue?!” The mirror might not always be the most helpful thing, but cameras don’t lie. They allow you to step outside yourself and see an outfit with an objective eye, so take pictures if you’re not positive about a look. And make sure you get lots of different angles.

DO remember that the best accessory is always attitude.

I’m super self-conscious about my knees—they’re kind of chicken-y—so I haven’t worn a miniskirt or shorts since I was about 17. The point is that in order to look good, you need to feel good. If someone’s saying to you, “You look amazing in that skintight dress” but you’re miserably uncomfortable, it will show. You have to find the compromise between what looks best on you and what’s going to give you the most confidence. Half of beauty is the belief that you’re beautiful.

DON’T let yourself go fashion bananas…on your baby.

OK, I admit it: I’m totally obsessed with dressing my son, Skyler. I no longer shop for myself; I just shop for him. But my biggest regret was buying him very expensive clothes when he was a baby baby. A cashmere onesie, furry lace-up booties, Bur-berry, Gucci—he outgrew it all in, like, 10 days! I’m certifiably insane. It’s embarrassing. So please, learn from my mistakes and don’t spend much money on clothes when they’re so young. I’m hopefully going to have another child, and I’ll definitely be taking my own advice.

But the most major DO of all?

Being happy! Now that I’m a mother, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Honestly, I’m a much different person than I was a few years ago because I just don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. The things that really used to sting, like people judging me? Now I’m able to recognize what’s truly important in my life—my son, my family—and take the high road. Hate is a very exhausting emotion. Trust me, I’ve felt it time and time again, and I still feel it for a select few people. But all hate does is turn you into someone that you’re not. In the end, taking the high road is so much more chic.

As told to Amy Spencer.