10 things never to wear to the beach
Leave the heels at home
There’s a time and a place for high heels. A day at the beach is never one of them. If it’s true that Suri Cruise has a $150,000 shoe collection, she must have many more sand-appropriate footwear options than the strappy gold heels she wore traipsing along a beach in Malibu with her mom. Katie Holmes wore charcoal kitten heels. Come on, ladies. Wouldn’t you have had more fun in flip flops?
Leather + sand = bad mix
Australian model Jessica Gomes may have pulled off the black leather shorts look on this beach stroll. But trust us: Leather is a bad idea at the beach. You’ll sweat like nobody’s business. And when you peel off the offending garment, it’ll turn into a sand magnet. Have fun getting it back on when it’s time to go home.
Some wraparounds weren’t made to be
Sarongs and flowy wraparounds are great for the beach. They can be super casual and elegant at the same time. Go with the wrong fabric, though, and they can take on a straightjacket feel. Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe was onto something with this black-lace and gold-trimmed wraparound, but it looked so confining you've got to wonder if she could've kicked that soccer ball without ripping her skirt — or knocking off her jet black sunhat.
No place for a bottomless purse
No matter how much you love that ginormous Prada handbag, there’s no good reason to lug it to the beach. Go with something lower-brow that you won’t worry about leaving unattended with your beach towels and sunscreen. And pack more lightly than Halle Berry did with this giant black-leather tote.
Not the time for gobs of mascara
If there’s any place to go makeup-free, it’s the beach. Even if you’re not swimming, it won’t take much time in the sun for your eyeliner and mascara to turn into smudgy messes. Then again, maybe that was the look Kendall Jenner was going for in this sultry, beachside modeling shoot.
Black: the unbeachiest color
Unless the skies are cool and gray, wearing black at the beach is a bad idea. You’ll roast. Justin Bieber looked less stylin’ than usual in his dark gray New York Yankees hat and black T-shirt. He’s much more himself shirtless, in long swim trunks, locking lips with Selena Gomez.
Beware the raccoon tan lines
Sure, giant shades that cover half your face have a glamorous look to them, as though you’re dodging the paparazzi. But wear them all day at the beach and you might wind up with some regrettable tan lines. Kim Kardashian must have stocked up on some seriously strong sunscreen after this sunburn.
Just say no to socks
Surfers, you’re the only ones we’ll excuse from this rule. Go ahead and wear your special surfer socks when you’re riding cold waves. Everyone else, lose the socks and give your feet some sunshine in flip flops or sandals. Zach Porter may have stood out with his black-socked beach run, but he wasn’t setting any trends.
There are oh so many things to love about boots. They can give an everyday look a classy or snazzy or sexy twist. But at the beach, they’re just sand buckets that cover up feet and legs that would rather be free — like these off-white, suede knee-highs that would’ve looked better on Pamela Anderson anywhere else.
Stick to trunks, guys
This last one’s for you, fellas. If you’re on vacation in Europe or competing in a swim meet, you’ll fit right in wearing a Speedo. Otherwise, give us a break and keep a little more of yourself to yourself with swim trunks that won’t make us blush when we look your way. Rod Stewart hasn’t exactly been rocking the Speedo look all these years.
Liz Murtaugh Gillespie is a freelance writer in Seattle.