What have you stopped doing since you got together?

he lets me be me. I was overweight he never said a thing  then I saw the backside of me in a mirror my backend was a shelf. I lost weight so did my husband! He supports my artsy fartsy stuff and I listen to his love for the Indycar race and the drags. He is the only husband who actually cares about leaving me with  his life insurance when he dies. This man is  a true saint in my world,<3

wait until you throw kids in the mix.  The husband becomes an extension of the children when you get told what to do and how to do it - the Maternal instinct goes way beyond where it should.  But wait - it get's even better when you fall into line AFTER the children.  The kids come first, then the pets, the career, her friends and then you!  You only get notices twice a month on paydays and even then, not sexually, just enough conversation to ensure you've paid the bills.

I was married fo 17 year and have been divorced for 3.5 years.  I now have great sex with a wonderful girlfriend, I'm not bitched at 24/7, I don't have anyone filling MY schedule up with HER activities and I have more disposable income than I ever had during marriage.  Thank God she asked for a divorce.

The real truth...  Faith.  That's all it takes.  I've been with my husband for 4 years and married for 3.  The first year and a half was hell.  We now have the greatest marriage ever.  I call it the 4-C's of marriage.  Christ, Communication, Compassion, and Compromise.  In that order. 

   Our faith in God has pulled us through 3 deaths in 3weeks, almost nuclear meltdown with the kids, and crazy sister-in-laws.  It has also given us the faith to trust one another.  No more checking phones or digging through emails.  My husband is a truck driver, and is home 2-3 days a month.  I don't have to wonder what he's doing and he doesn't have to worry about me.  We're doing what we say, and we trust eachother.  God wouldn't have let us get this far for nothing.

   Communication is key.  I tell him what I'm doing, and he tells me.  Whether it's to the store or to work.  And we talk to eachother every day, and "I love you" is always how we say goodbye.  If he's frustrated about something, we talk it out.  And Vice-versa.  The quickest way to ruin a marriage is by bottling things up and then all that happens is you explode at one another and by the end of the day, you can't remember what started the fight... all you know is that you're mad.  And talk about money.  I don't spend anything without him knowing about it, and he doesn't spend anything without me knowing about it.  Plain and simple.  Then we know who's spending what before it gets spent, and it saves a fight.

    Compassion.  I know what he does is hard work and is full of sacrifice. He's working hard to provide me and the kids with what we need and he's sacrificing his time with his family. I am home to go to soccer games and plays and I can take them to the movies or the park when I want. When he's home he tries to cram in as much quality time as possible, and then he's gone again.  And never does he see me as useless.  He understands that I not only work and take care of the house and kids, but i'm a full time student and choir director at my church as well.  If I say I can't talk because i'm busy, he knows I am and we talk later.  It's all about seeing what's going on from the other person's point of view and realizing that time spent together is precious.  Just because you don't always get what you want, when you want it, it doesn't mean the other person doesn't care or they don't love you, it's because while you both have a life together, you are still 2 separate beings doing what must be done.

    That leads to Compromise.  "Ok honey, you're only here for a couple days?  Take the kids somewhere and spend time with them and I'll stay at home and take a nap or get some things done that I can't do with the kids here.  We'll get a babysitter tomorrow so we can spend some time together without the kids around."  Changing around a schedule or putting off something for the other person isn't a hard thing to do.  I might really want a new outfit, but he or even the kids need something more than my want, so it'll get put off for a bit.  That new outfit will be on sale in a couple of weeks anyway.  Don't be so pessimistic!

     Praise God (or whoever you believe in) daily, love eachother always, keep talking, take time for eachother and for youself, and don't go to bed angry.

Princel:

What a great story of your lives!----you have much wisdom, and know how life is so fragile--one day at a time---yes, people in the area of long marriages face many challenges.  We try not to burden our children with everyday life issues, but work as a team together when a health crisis comes along, or any other problems.--

I can relate.  Most people do not want that part of life with a partner--called "Sticking It Out Together"---Congratu​lations!

My husband and I have been together for going on 8 years in July. Married in Dec  of 2012. The only thing that we have stopped doing is NOT going to bed angry. Words are much more harsh when your tired and aggrevated. You cant always figure everything out in 5 minutes. Go to bed and talk it about it in the morning when you are well rested and in a better sense of mind.

Oh for goodness sakes! Whining women , that is what has changed, period. "Do some chores" "take care of the kids" etc etc etc. It is time to get of men's backs! Unless you are out pushing the lawnmower or swinging the ax let the man be ....................​......Women and men may be "equal" but we are not the same; MEN ARE DIFFERENT, women, let them BE different and take back your womanhood!

"Glass celiling"? I want to crack that theory/ and goal right in half and laugh all the way back from the smashing of that ceiling. "being LIKE men " is what we have become that is all, period. We are whiners and moaners and gripers and demanding as two year olds. 

Want a good lasting marriage? Give until you cannot give any more and enjoy what you get. Married happily 40 years to the SAME man; six grown children, and eight baby grandchildren. And , yes, I  mow the lawn and cook the bacon!