9 wedding tech-iquette fails
Venting (to Everyone)
MISTAKE: Yes, we know there’s a lot of stress in planning a wedding. Whether it’s struggles with in-laws or guests not being the most generous with their gifts, you just want to blow off some steam. Along comes Facebook, Twitter, group emails and WhatsApp. So what’s a quicker and better way to share your concerns with anyone who will listen, right?
SOLUTION: We’ve seen complaints by brides go viral, leading them to infamy and (sometimes) prolonged, public humiliation. So before you pour your heart out, check the privacy settings on all your social-media accounts and make sure none of your complaints can be seen by the public. Ensure that the names of the groups you’re in contact with through both WhatsApp and email are very clear, so you won’t end up talking about your in-laws to your in-laws. That definitely wouldn’t be good.
More from The Knot:The weirdest real wedding vows ever
By Eustacia Huen
Tweeting a Picture of Your dress to Everyone
MISTAKE: After months of slaving away in the gym, eating like a rabbit and trekking around the bridal salons, you are bound to be pretty excited about finding the perfect wedding dress. Happy and proud, you tweet a picture for all your friends to see. But it is not just your friends who get a peak of your gown; everyone (literally everyone!) spies it (including your fiancé).
SOLUTION: For something exceptional like a wedding dress, all tweeting and image posting on social media is out of the question. Sorry, but it’s the best way to really keep it secret. We understand that you’re dying for a second or third (or tenth) opinion, but to prevent the details from spreading, we say no to emailing as well. If you truly must share, try a protected photo-sharing app called SneakAPeek and preset the time in which your friends can look at your dress without saving, forwarding or taking screen shots. Snapchat is also a great semi-secret option: It gives your friends just a few seconds to glance at the photo. And since it is such a quick interaction, this means your friends are in some ways forced to give their candid opinion of your gown.
More from The Knot: Shocking wedding guest facts
Not Hiring a Professional for Things That Count
MISTAKE: With all the websites and apps out there, everyone seems to believe they can stand in as photographers, DJs or wedding planners. But while some things can be done well by amateurs, certain things do require professionals. And we don’t want you to end up with fuzzy photos before you comprehend your miscalculation.
SOLUTION: Be honest with yourself and figure out your budget and priorities. This is one of the most important days of your life. Can you live with overexposed photos being all the world sees of your wedding? Can your online wedding planner be around for emergencies in the way a real-live wedding planner can? Things like curating a high-quality collection of music or photos as well as last-minute wedding-day troubleshooting are skill sets that most nonpros simply don’t have. So know what you can handle and what you cannot, and hire a professional whenever possible to save yourself from tears later.
More from The Knot: 5 conversations to have before marriage
Reviewing Too Soon
MISTAKE: You’re interviewing three florists for your wedding and have shared your amazing vision and elaborate décor plans for the day with each of them. But before hearing about your budget, one comes back with many lofty ideas that are in no way helpful or considerate of what you can afford. So right then, you decide to drop all communication and resort to trashing the florist on a review site.
SOLUTION: Rather than jumping the gun and claiming that the florist is “totally out of touch,” take the time to clarify your budget and give the him or her a chance to pitch some new ideas based on all the information (including exactly how much you want to spend). Your wedding vendors are there to help you realize your dream, and they want to be hired. But they do need you to spell out the basic facts. Who knows? Maybe in the end that florist will come back from the follow-up discussion with the amazing design ideas that you’ve always been looking for.
More from The Knot: Top 8 wedding tips for moms
Messing Up QR Codes
MISTAKE: QR (quick response) codes are fast and easy and provide all the information your guests need to know about your wedding. But since they are a relatively new addition to wedding stationery, don’t assume that everyone knows what a QR code is and how to scan and make it work.
SOLUTION: Provide clear instructions on how to scan the code with a smartphone. And while the code doesn’t have to be the generic black-and-white, exercise creativity with caution so that the design won’t compromise the functionality of the code.
Overloading on Inspiration Boards of All Kinds
MISTAKE:We know how useful these boards are (that’s why we made them for you on TheKnot.com), but we also know you can spend literally all day on them if you’re not careful. At some point, you have to actually go out there and meet the great wedding pros that will bring your creation to life.
SOLUTION: Go crazy on the boards when you’re in your “dream” phase, but set some limits. It doesn’t have to be perfect before you share it with others; it can evolve over time. And, when you meet with, say, your florist or potential venues, you’ll be able to hone your vision a little more. Also, drag in lots of images at first and then weed out what you don’t like.
Shopping on Dubious Websites
MISTAKE: We all know how expensive planning a wedding can be, which makes the so-called discount websites very appealing. If a $5,000 dress selling for $50 sounds too good to be true, it probably is—even if you see a great looking photo of it on the website.
SOLUTION: It’s best to go to actual brick-and-mortar stores for something like your wedding dress. That way you can see what it looks like on. If ordering online is just a lot more convenient, make sure the site you’re buying from is approved by the designer. One big hint that it’s probably not, is if the site also sells random items like batteries. (Seriously.)
Forgetting Traditional Wedding Etiquette
MISTAKE: With so many technological advances, there may be more people who are okay with emailing their wedding invitations these days. But is it really a good idea to totally let go of old, time-tested traditions? Especially if great grandma doesn’t even have a computer?
SOLUTION: Sure, technology can make life easier, but it’s wise to check out books and sites to familiarize yourself with traditional etiquette. (We answer tons of these questions at TheKnot.com/askcarley.) You don’t always have to follow the rules, but it’s good to at least know when you’ve decided to break them.
Not Having a Tech Pro on Standby When It Counts
MISTAKE: Do you really know what to do when there are technical difficulties? Without a competent tech person nearby, you can potentially disrupt the mood of the wedding with weird lighting or sound.
SOLUTION: Just like shooting your professional frame-worthy photographs, this is a skill set that isn’t easily transferable. So make sure your tech professional has a solid understanding of all the equipment being used that day. It’s important that he or she has a sense of what glitches may arise with the venue’s sound system or lighting design to be able to resolve any situation—preferably before your guests notice.