My In-Laws Are Trying to Take Over the Wedding!
My fiance's family is bombarding me with wedding demands...
Q. Ever since we announced our engagement, my fiance's family has been bombarding me on all sides with wedding demands -- from inviting third cousins to including their kids in the wedding ceremony! They're creating so much craziness that I'm ready to give up on the whole wedding and elope. Help!
You don't want to get off on the wrong foot with your new family, so diplomacy is the name of the game. Pick your battles. Is it really worth it to be on his aunt's bad side forever, or should you just ask her son to be an usher? Unless you plan to never see her again post-wedding, the latter is probably a better option. For more petty requests, a polite (and truthful) answer is in order. When his cousin-in-law emails you to find out where her invite is, simply say, "We're very sorry, but with the cost of the wedding (or size of the venue) we just can't invite everyone." It's harsh, but what else can you really say? And when it comes to the bigger battles, don't be afraid to enlist your fiance's help. After all, he knows them better than you do, and probably knows how to defuse a fight (especially when his 'rents are really on the warpath). If you can explain the situation to him in a non-accusatory way (think, "I need your help," not "I'm ready to smack your sister"), he should be on your side and by your side -- he is your fiance, after all.
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