If my last post didn't set anyone's mind at ease, then maybe this will. Here's the deal: I’m around men every single day and I hear them talk about women a lot. Over and over again, listening to them has proven that sex appeal is a broad and complex thing. Far too complex to be destroyed by a mere 20 extra pounds. I have seen women of so many shapes, sizes, and colors command the attention of my male counterparts that I think it's time to throw out the entire rulebook. To think that we can reduce sex appeal to stats like waist size, height, etc., is really missing the point.  

Do I look fat? It's a question that inevitably comes up in every relationship, and usually it's the female doing the asking. I'm sure occasionally the reverse is true, but while most women seem to consider weight gain to be a curse, apparently many men consider it to be their birthright. They're just not as concerned. But women are really concerned, which is why this subject needs to be handled with absolute care and compassion.  

A recent Marie Claire story describes the widespread phenomenon of 30-something men in seemingly great relationships, who are finding it next to impossible to pull the trigger and get married. The story calls 30 "the new male midlife crisis," which, to someone who hopes to live beyond 60, seems like a bit of a stretch. But other parts of the story really hit home. Take this excerpt, for instance (oh, and PS, it’s a guy talking):  

First of all -- let me just say that when it comes to weight and body image, my heart does hurt for Khloe Kardashian. In any other household, hers would be the Amazonian body by which all others are judged. But in the ’Dash house, she's the chubby one forced to suffer critical comments from such wackos as stepfather Bruce Jenner (who, let’s face it, is neck and neck with Mickey Rourke in the category of Most Horrific Male Plastic Surgery Recipient).  

Recently, I asked readers to leave comments about topics they'd like me to cover -- sort of an "Ask a Married Man" idea. One said she'd love to hear how a guy would like to be informed that he’s, um, way overdue for a manscaping sesh.

Well the fact is, most men (at least this one) don't spend a lot of time thinking about the way that they'd like to be informed of anything. But we do think about the times that it's been done badly. Bottom line? Embarrassment sucks, and avoiding it is a major man goal. It's hard to explain, but I guess my favorite way to be informed is one that leaves me thinking that I've come up with the idea myself. Some women are great at finding a way to put things in motion without hitting a guy over the head with it. 

I was reading TheNest.com message boards when I came across this post by Imoan, describing how unexpectedly hard it was for her to have the "baby talk" with her husband. Her point was that even though she has the kind of relationship that Jack and I do -- where open, honest communication is the glue -- when she tried to discuss the baby issue, she found herself suddenly crying and unintelligible. Here's what she wrote:

"I seriously have never had a problem talking to my husband about anything...but bringing this up was like taking that jump out of a plane."  

When Jack and I were first dating, I was a social machine. I was forever throwing parties and cooking for big groups of people. With my door-is-wide-open policy, the holidays were out of control at my house. I invited everyone who wasn't flying home to be with family to come for what I called Refugee Thanksgiving. I tended to get lots of people who either didn't have a family to go home to or who were estranged from theirs -- and together we'd reclaim the holiday (fist in air).  

Even though it sounds like a National Enquirer headline (albeit an R-rated version) this story is actually completely true. Julie Boyd dated her now-husband Mike for years. But it wasn't until their wedding night, when the couple first did the deed without a condom, that Boyd realized something was really, really wrong. Experts call the painful-sounding issue seminal plasma hypersensitivity -- which is just a fancy way of saying “sperm allergy” -- and say that it affects up to 40,000 American women.