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The Married Chick The Knot the married chick

4 Divorce Lessons I Learned From Katie Holmes

Hopefully I’ll never need them.

By The Married Chick Jul 5, 2012 8:35PM
All the coverage about Katie Holmes’s covert plans to make a clean break from Tom Cruise leaves me sad...but also quite impressed. Reports of swapped out cell phones, disposable laptops and a secret move to an apartment in New York City -- apparently this is what it took to escape the grips of her controlling marriage. 

It’s hard enough to come to terms with the end of a marriage, but thankfully, most of us don’t have to struggle to this degree. That said, if I ever do find myself in the depths of despair and desperate for a way out of my union (knock on wood, we're doing great!), here are the top four things I’ll take away from Katie Holmes’s separation scheme -- plus some advice from an actual lawyer, of course.

1. Knowledge is power. “At the first signs of discomfort in a marriage, you should consult a divorce attorney,” says Lubov Stark, founder and principal of Lubov Stark LLC. In Katie’s case, it involved consulting her attorney dad and possibly recruiting a publicist and some private security to set her plan in motion. For the rest of us, one trusted attorney should do. 

2. Get your finances in order. “The first step is awareness,” says Lubov. “Collect your tax returns, a list of monthly expenses and insurance bills.” If I were married to a multimillionaire like Katie is, though, I’d have probably signed a prenup, which complicates things. But if I were Katie, I would also have a boatload of my own money, so it wouldn’t be an issue. 

3. Don't rush the process. Lubov gives this sound advice, and it seems Katie is in accordance. Reports that she'd been planning her undercover escape while on a recent trip to China prove that the wheels had been in motion for a while. Seems Katie knows that only fools rush in -- and out! 

4. Remain calm. “In order to stay in control, schedule a regular exercise routine, see a mental health professional and rely on friends and family for support,” says Lubov. No word on whether Katie is following the first two bits of advice (unless paparazzi-documented trips to Whole Foods count as exercise), but she seems to be spending more time with friends and family -- a departure from the isolated existence she seemed to be living prior -- and most reports say her attitude is upbeat and remarkable! 

More from The Nest: 

Photo Credit: Shutterstock 
109Comments
Jul 16, 2012 10:08PM
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At the first signs of discomfort in a marriage, you should consult a divorce attorney,” is ridiculous.

#1 should be: Never marry Tom Cruise. Seriously, anyone who says that this 5' 7" shrimp is sexy, should have their head examined.  I forgot to mention with bucked teeth.

Really. Honestly. Yes, for 50 he keeps himself in very good shape, but honestly with that type of money he can afford a whole team of physical trainers.

#2 Never consider marrying Tom Cruise. Yes he has nailed Mimi Rodgers, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz and Katie Holmes, but he will nail you without all the legal entanglements of marriage.

#3 Get Tom Cruise to sign over United Artists before you marry him. Then you can let him nail you. Three or four times. That should be enough.

Also, #4 in the list, see a mental health professional. Are you serious? People have been getting divorced for thousands of years without shrinks and doing fine.

This idiocy that you need modern witch-doctors or you will collapse is non-sense.

Finally: NEVER MARRY TOM CRUISE. But you won't listen and he will be nailing someone new in a little while.

 

Jul 11, 2012 5:37PM
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Best choice for next wife, would be a robot,:

- De-program any knowledge of divorce, (laser scum bag  attorneys)
- Prerecord auditing sessions
- Has auto detect for thetans vs SPs
- Is already an over sized E-meter
- Space travel ready
- Doesn't  need the whole diamond ring / wedding dress thing, (big savings) !
- Can get on Ebay, (easier than E-harmony)


Jul 11, 2012 4:50PM
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"At the first signs of discomfort in the marriage" = consulting an attorney and preparing for divorce? REALLY? Since when did we as a culture view "till death do us part" so lightly?
Jul 11, 2012 6:40AM
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Thank God that Katie's dad is a lawyer & told her how to handle this mess.

Jul 11, 2012 6:15AM
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I do not believe Katie is as innocent as many believe. She had a few relationships with men before meeting Tom. She was even engaged to be married for more than a year to Chris Klein from 2003 to 2005. Her father is an attorney and I would bet she was well aware of what she was getting into when she married Tom. She got what she wanted out of the marriage and now she is set for life. Good luck to both of them and their daughter.  

 

Jul 11, 2012 4:55AM
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 “At the first signs of DISCOMFORT, you should consult a divorce attorney,” Really? At the first signs? Wow, whatever happened to working together to make it work? We're not all married to a screwball like Tom. (no, make that a total dick like Tom!)


Jul 11, 2012 4:33AM
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Number One thing in finding a marriage partner is whether they are compatible in the area of spiritual beliefs.  It will come up eventually ... esp. when children arrive and that is when things tend to fall apart if there are different belief systems.  (Just like Tom and Katie.)   If you find someone who is compatible in the area of religious beliefs, the rest pretty much works itself out because there is a solid foundation for the marriage. (Yes, I know people will disagree. Don't bother writing.)
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