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The Married Chick The Knot the married chick

Your Best Friend’s Husband — How Far Is Too Far?

Where do you draw the line when interacting with a friend’s spouse?

By The Married Chick Sep 7, 2012 11:33PM
Thanks to the endless forms of social media, you're available at any moment, to just about anyone who wants to reach you — including your creepy uncle and that college ex.

While the benefits of Facebook and Twitter are numerous, there are definite drawbacks when it comes to communication. For instance, what happens when you're contacted by a married man?

One reader over on TheNest.com's Married Life message board recently posted about an uncomfortable situation she's encountered online:

"My closest friend's husband always chats and messages me on Facebook. My husband totally hates it, even though he likes the guy, but I think it's innocent...I know that he and my friend have communication issues in their marriage, and I think he should be talking to her instead of trying to chat with me. Am I being naïve?" -- Pink714

Although it seems innocent enough, this seemingly friendly conversation could result in serious consequences. In this case, where is it appropriate to draw the line? Are you prohibited from communicating with your best friend's husband even if you two are friends as well? When does conversation go from casual to uncomfortable?

Here's how other Nesties responded:

"Yes, you are being a tad naïve. The only person he should be bringing personal issues to is his wife." -- jnjmommy0609

"Tell him you're not comfortable with him always coming to you before going to his wife." -- toothpastechica

"I would stay in the offline mode if I were you. If nothing else, this will prevent any drama." -- MiniMugLinton

"I'm friendly with some of my friends' significant others and would definitely make online small talk with them. Your husband sounds creepy jealous." -- kellbell1919

If I were on the receiving end of a married man's messages, I wouldn't bother responding. That way, a possible confrontation is avoided and no one's feelings get hurt. Plus, I doubt that a friend's husband would get all Mean Girls with, "Why didn’t you write me back?" If so, politely tell him you don't have time for small talk.

How would you react if your best friend's husband constantly tried to communicate? What would you do if you found out a friend was reaching out to your husband?

Plus more from The Nest:
6 Signs Your Spouse is Lying
Watch Other Couples Duke it Out
Need a Love Fix Now? Get Relationship Tips

Photo: Getty Images

2Comments
Sep 24, 2012 3:06PM
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Im sort of in the same situation, but on the other foot. My friend is always playing an on-line game with my husband, at first I thought it was innocent until it has escalated into an every day majority of the day thing. He and I use to play this game but know I'm excluded. I would be ok with them playing this stupid game except for the following. She isn't with her husband right now, they can text each other and she is known to sleep around. So I had to tell my husband that I'm not comfortable with their friendship and he has said that he will stop communicating with her on that level. So as for now she have to play with someone elses husband.
Sep 9, 2012 10:54PM
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I feel having friends of a spouse emailing would causes nothing but trouble no matter how innocent it is,,,Think of it this way ladies, who of you would like it if your best female friend was emailing your husband just to "chat". My husband is a very friendly and very nice looking man, so women are always flirting with him. I'm not the jealous type, because I totally trust him, but that doesn't mean I trust every woman that chat him up and to be honest if they were your best friend they would respect you more and not chat with you spouse in such a personal way.
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