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The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

Top reason for divorce? ‘Unreasonable behavior’

Unreasonable behavior and too much arguing are more likely to ruin a marriage than adultery.

By Kristin Wong Sep 23, 2013 5:38PM

More couples divorce due to “unreasonable behavior” than adultery, according to a new study.

Noel Hendrickson/Getty ImagesMSN: Manimony: What Divorce Costs Famous Women

U.K-based Cooperative Legal Services studied divorce trends in the U.K. over the past 40 years and found that unreasonable behavior is now cited in 47 percent of divorce cases. In the 1970s, it was only cited in 28 percent of cases. What’s more, the latest figures show only 15 percent of divorces are caused by infidelity. In the '70s, cheating was cited in 29 percent of divorces.

So what exactly constitutes “unreasonable”? The Guardian gave a few examples from lawyers' divorce cases: A husband who made his wife feel guilty for going out with friends, a cross-dressing husband who had a sex change, and a spouse who withdrew the family’s savings and burned it in the bedroom.

The National Fatherhood Initiative conducted a similar study in the U.S., asking divorced individuals why they decided to end their marriages. Interestingly, they found adultery wasn't the top reason for divorce in the United States, either. Seventy-three percent of couples blamed their divorces on a “lack of commitment.” Fifty-six percent of exes said they split because of too much arguing.

Read more about the study here.

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Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty Images

 

325Comments
Sep 27, 2013 3:13AM
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One of my wifes closest friends has come onto me a few times and I get the strong feeling that my wife is putting her up to it to see if I would cheat. This, my friends is how sneaky my wife is. I have NEVER EVER cheated on my wife but I cannot say that about her.  Women can really get down there.
Sep 27, 2013 1:43AM
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My father in law used to always take the womans side when he heard of a divorce of someone he knew.  I always thought that if he would be involved in divorce that he would automaticly swith sides on that opinion. He was so gulliable that some slick woman could clean him out in a hurry.
Sep 27, 2013 1:28AM
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If two people want to be happy in a marriage then make sure that its a 50/50 deal. Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated and DO NOT EVER lie to your spouse. I know many women who routinely lie to their husbands, but if they catch their husband in a lie,its just dispicable. You get out of a marriage what you put into it.
Sep 27, 2013 12:13AM
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Marraige is the leading cause of divorce.
Sep 26, 2013 11:42PM
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I'd tell you why I'm mad, but it's difficult to translate into man.
Sep 26, 2013 10:37PM
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Unreasonable behavior, vanity, selfishness, easy throw away society, easy internet dating are jjust some of the reasons for the high rate of divorce. Then of course you always have the old time standby reseasons of cheating, lying, irresponsiblity, drug abuse, alcolhol abuse and of course lets not leave out domestic violence. When a people are dating they given a short amount of time they should reasonably know if the person they ae dating is an unreasonable person with bad behavior. How smart does one have to be to see all the red flags in that kind of personality.
Sep 26, 2013 10:30PM
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I think that people fall in lust to fast and due to that lust for each other they don't take the time to get to know each other very well before they get married. Often times lust is mistaken for love and we all that have ever been in love know how it blinds you to hearing, and seeing all the obvious red flags that the person we are in lust or love with is not the right one for us. Then we finally wake up from the dream world and really see the persons behavior, attitudes, lack of commonality with us and we wonder why and how did we get into such a bad relationship. If we can force ourselves to really look at our relationships objectively in the beginning we would go a critical evaluation of the pros and cons of the relationship long before we commit to marriage and regrets years and children later. By then it usually to late. Now we have to deal with a messy divorce, spousal and child support. child visitation and all of the other garbage that goes with it. Yet some people are on a merry-go-round and keep doing it over and over again never stopping to re-evaluate the kinds of personalities and behavior they subject themselves too. Cheaters, Domestic abusers either verbal or physical never change. its never a question of if they will erupt again. It just a matter of when and how often it will be this time. Leaving you holding the preverbal bag.
Sep 26, 2013 4:03PM
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DUH !

Of course it is "unreasonable behavior"! "Reason", is sound judgment . It is "unreasonable " to expect a man to stay with a woman who cheats on him. It is "unreasonable" to expect a woman to stay with a man who cheats on her. Marriage is where "the two", become "one" , a "marriage" - of the man, and the woman. When there are more than the two , or , two women , or two men , then THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGES is no longer attainable...CHILDREN. This is not soup we are making here,where you "marry" the ingredients together, it is CHILDREN , brand new PEOPLE. It is not a " LEGALITY" issue,( notice that the study was done by lawyers at a legal firm)  it is an issue of trust, can they, and will they, fulfill their promises to each other? That's called " faithfulness". It is reasonable for one to expect that a promise will be kept. 

 

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