Loading...
The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

Bride doesn't want guests attending her wedding 'for free,' so don't forget your checkbook

It's poor form to ever mention gifts to your guests. But just wait until you read her former friend's response.

By Glamour Magazine Oct 3, 2013 6:09PM

By Kim Fusaro

I just got an email from a frustrated wedding guest, we'll call her Gretchen, who is currently in school and recently lost her job and hasn't gotten around to giving her childhood friend (who we'll call Brandy) a wedding gift. Gretchen, who is 23, had given Brandy a homemade bridal shower gift and had said (TWICE) that she'd "make up" for the wedding gift when she had more cash. (I should mention here that while wedding planning, Brandy was vocal about what she and her groom spent per guest to throw their wedding: $200.) Of course at this point (twice) Brandy-the-bride should've said, "We know you're strapped. We don't need a wedding gift, we just wanted to celebrate with you."

More from Glamour: 25 Celebrity Hairstyles That Will Make You Want Bangs

Instead she basically said, "Show me the money." Here's a text convo. (The candles are part of the bridal shower gift, I assume.)

Courtesy of GlamourI was going to add little arrows to point out the parts where the bride was being out of line, but since everything she said was offensive, I went with numbers, so you'll know which section of offensiveness I'm referencing.

More from Glamour: 10 Wardrobe Essentials Every Woman Should Own

1. It's poor form to ever mention gifts to your guests. And worse form to imply that "a card" [read: cash] is the gift you're expecting.

2. Your money woes are NOT your guests' problem. If you couldn't afford to throw a $200-a-head wedding, you shouldn't have done so at the expense of, say, your electricity.

3. "U coming for free" I. Just. Can't.

4. Oh MAH GAWD. A baby shower, like a wedding, is not an open call for gifts. It's a celebration of something wonderful in your life, which you should want the people you love to be a part of, regardless of their ability to "make up" for their crustless cucumber sandwiches.

Here is the "card" Gretchen later dropped off (with the identifying info blurred out, unfortunately):

Courtesy of GlamourWell done, Gretchen. Well done.

Is anyone OK with this bride's behavior?

More from Glamour:
8 Hair Color Ideas To Try This Fall
8 Workout Moves for a Toned Body in Two Weeks
The 10 Prettiest Hair, Nail and Makeup Looks for Fall 2013

Subscribe to The Heart Beat | Friend us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and find us on Pinterest

Photos: Courtesy of Glamour

82Comments
Oct 20, 2013 11:08AM
avatar
I have a similar friend as well, a secondary school friend. had not contacted each other
 for many years (we were good friends during school but some how lost contact after
 graduation) until he notified me of his wedding. 
Attended and wrote a cheque for $300 (2pax) in a rundown hotel. But then few days 
later my wife told me he posted my cheque picture on FB, claiming me a cheat and 
gave him a bounced cheque. I told him to take it down while I check with bank. 
Found out that the bank had consolidated the bank account but I was not timely notified,
 thus the bounced cheque. I went over to his place and passed him $500, and after 
reaching home, deleted him from my FB and friend list. So much for a good friend.
Oct 17, 2013 10:14AM
avatar
she thinks that she has a husband now and is marrying and don't need anything else in the world anymore, period.
Oct 7, 2013 4:28PM
avatar
I would 100% not attend said wedding. I would, however, RSVP and choose a meal. Then not show up, and leave this letter. 

You want to be a greedy bitch, have fun wasting your precious money. 
Oct 6, 2013 10:05PM
avatar
I can't imagine that's the only friend that b**** lost.
Oct 6, 2013 4:29AM
Oct 6, 2013 12:33AM
avatar
Can anyone say Bridezilla?  Super bitch!!
Oct 5, 2013 9:50PM
avatar
The bride is a total bitch, and the guest/girlfriend is 100% right. $200/guest isn't cheap, but it's not excessive, and if you can't afford that, then you shouldn't be getting married, or you should be going cheap on the ceremony and reception. Considering that she got pregnant before she got married, she has all her priorities backwards, and the conversation about the wedding proves that.
Oct 5, 2013 4:26PM
avatar
bravo to you! This shows what our society is becoming...people just are so used to handouts that they don't even think twice about acting this way as the bride has done...The poor baby who is now involved in her mothers actions and thinking...this child has no chance in life to become a respectable human being...
Report
Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
Categories
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage

  • Stephanie Rausser

    Should you have a dating type?

    Whether you're into creative artists or uber-preppy bankers, there's something to be said for trying something new.

  • GinniferGoodwin/"Did You Know That These 6 Celebrity Costars Are Married to Each Other?"/Photo: Getty

    Did you know that these 6 celebrity costars are married to each other?

    Sometimes two characters on a TV show or movie can portray being a happy couple effortlessly, or can have lots of fun playing former spouses — especially if they're married to each other in real life! Keep scrolling for six celebrity costars you probably didn't know tied the knot, even after the bloodiest and craziest story lines.

  • website/"6 Craziest Proposals"/Photo: Rhett Hildebrandt

    Most creative marriage proposals

    Some couples want nothing more than a laid-back, by-the-book proposal. Then there are the other couples, where the proposal not only needs to be personalized, it also has to be unique and entirely different than the typical restaurant, bended-knee idea. Sound like you? Then get inspired by some of the most creative proposal ideas we’ve ever seen. If you find something you like, steal it and then modify it to make your proposal something totally unforgettable.

  • Little Palm Island/"10 Hottest Beaches for Honeymooners"

    10 hottest beaches for honeymooners

    From Nantucket all the way to Cayo Espanto, we've rounded up some of the prettiest beaches to travel to for your honeymoon.

  • Researchers studied the age-old stereotype that women really are more talkative than men. AFP Photo, ©racorn, shutterstock.com // Researchers studied the age-old stereotype that women really are more talkative than men. AFP Photo, ©racorn, shutterstock.com (Researchers studied the age-old stereotype that women really are more talkative than men. AFP Photo, ©racorn, shutterstock.com)

    Study: Do women talk more than men? It depends on the situation

    Researchers studied the age-old stereotype that women really are more talkative than men.

  • Peter Dazeley, Getty Images // Peter Dazeley, Getty Images (Peter Dazeley, Getty Images)

    Dating site brings in DNA matchmaking

    'There is a science behind attraction,' SingldOut says.

  • You want different things

    8 real reasons he broke up with you

    One minute you're happy and in love, the next he's delivering the "It's not you, it's me" speech. Why? We have the scoop on the real reasons most couples split up.

  • 1. Cake Cutting Fee

    10 hidden costs of throwing a wedding

    Want to keep your wedding budget in check? Start by checking out this list of the 10 things that could end up costing you a lot more than you anticipated.

  • Lanette and Cain

    10 perfect proposal reactions

    The proposal-filled site How He Asked has shared its top 10 most emotional proposal photos with us, so have your tissues handy. We're suckers for a good proposal story, and these ones are truly tear-worthy. Check them out now, and watch your heart grow (at least) three sizes!

  • 24 things no one tells you about being a wedding guest

    24 things no one tells you about being a wedding guest

    How to do weddings: Yet another foreign (and expensive) aspect of adulthood that you have to learn the hard way. But have no fear! Click through for some must-have wedding tips.

  • 1. Post Ranch Inn, Big Sur, California

    Stay local! The 10 best U.S. honeymoon resorts

    As part of the 2014 Brides Best Honeymoon awards, we’re counting down the best places for newlyweds to stay in the Mainland U.S. From luxe resorts in the Napa Valley to hotel oases in the Sedona Desert, you’re guaranteed a memorable stay no matter which resort you choose.

  • Namie Genkin // Namie Genkin

    10 things he wishes you wouldn’t take so seriously

    For him they're NBD, so don't stress.

Most Popular
  • Shared
  • Commented
  • Viewed
buzzing now on msn living
Loading...
The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner
relationship videos
editor's picks
Loading...
the heart beat
Loading...