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Bride doesn't want guests attending her wedding 'for free,' so don't forget your checkbook

It's poor form to ever mention gifts to your guests. But just wait until you read her former friend's response.

By Glamour Magazine Oct 3, 2013 6:09PM

By Kim Fusaro

I just got an email from a frustrated wedding guest, we'll call her Gretchen, who is currently in school and recently lost her job and hasn't gotten around to giving her childhood friend (who we'll call Brandy) a wedding gift. Gretchen, who is 23, had given Brandy a homemade bridal shower gift and had said (TWICE) that she'd "make up" for the wedding gift when she had more cash. (I should mention here that while wedding planning, Brandy was vocal about what she and her groom spent per guest to throw their wedding: $200.) Of course at this point (twice) Brandy-the-bride should've said, "We know you're strapped. We don't need a wedding gift, we just wanted to celebrate with you."

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Instead she basically said, "Show me the money." Here's a text convo. (The candles are part of the bridal shower gift, I assume.)

Courtesy of GlamourI was going to add little arrows to point out the parts where the bride was being out of line, but since everything she said was offensive, I went with numbers, so you'll know which section of offensiveness I'm referencing.

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1. It's poor form to ever mention gifts to your guests. And worse form to imply that "a card" [read: cash] is the gift you're expecting.

2. Your money woes are NOT your guests' problem. If you couldn't afford to throw a $200-a-head wedding, you shouldn't have done so at the expense of, say, your electricity.

3. "U coming for free" I. Just. Can't.

4. Oh MAH GAWD. A baby shower, like a wedding, is not an open call for gifts. It's a celebration of something wonderful in your life, which you should want the people you love to be a part of, regardless of their ability to "make up" for their crustless cucumber sandwiches.

Here is the "card" Gretchen later dropped off (with the identifying info blurred out, unfortunately):

Courtesy of GlamourWell done, Gretchen. Well done.

Is anyone OK with this bride's behavior?

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Photos: Courtesy of Glamour

84Comments
Oct 20, 2013 11:08AM
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I have a similar friend as well, a secondary school friend. had not contacted each other
 for many years (we were good friends during school but some how lost contact after
 graduation) until he notified me of his wedding. 
Attended and wrote a cheque for $300 (2pax) in a rundown hotel. But then few days 
later my wife told me he posted my cheque picture on FB, claiming me a cheat and 
gave him a bounced cheque. I told him to take it down while I check with bank. 
Found out that the bank had consolidated the bank account but I was not timely notified,
 thus the bounced cheque. I went over to his place and passed him $500, and after 
reaching home, deleted him from my FB and friend list. So much for a good friend.
Oct 17, 2013 10:14AM
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she thinks that she has a husband now and is marrying and don't need anything else in the world anymore, period.
Oct 7, 2013 4:28PM
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I would 100% not attend said wedding. I would, however, RSVP and choose a meal. Then not show up, and leave this letter. 

You want to be a greedy bitch, have fun wasting your precious money. 
Oct 6, 2013 10:05PM
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I can't imagine that's the only friend that b**** lost.
Oct 6, 2013 4:29AM
Oct 6, 2013 12:33AM
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Can anyone say Bridezilla?  Super bitch!!
Oct 5, 2013 9:50PM
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The bride is a total bitch, and the guest/girlfriend is 100% right. $200/guest isn't cheap, but it's not excessive, and if you can't afford that, then you shouldn't be getting married, or you should be going cheap on the ceremony and reception. Considering that she got pregnant before she got married, she has all her priorities backwards, and the conversation about the wedding proves that.
Oct 5, 2013 4:26PM
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bravo to you! This shows what our society is becoming...people just are so used to handouts that they don't even think twice about acting this way as the bride has done...The poor baby who is now involved in her mothers actions and thinking...this child has no chance in life to become a respectable human being...
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