The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

Bride doesn't want guests attending her wedding 'for free,' so don't forget your checkbook

It's poor form to ever mention gifts to your guests. But just wait until you read her former friend's response.

By Glamour Magazine Oct 3, 2013 6:09PM

By Kim Fusaro

I just got an email from a frustrated wedding guest, we'll call her Gretchen, who is currently in school and recently lost her job and hasn't gotten around to giving her childhood friend (who we'll call Brandy) a wedding gift. Gretchen, who is 23, had given Brandy a homemade bridal shower gift and had said (TWICE) that she'd "make up" for the wedding gift when she had more cash. (I should mention here that while wedding planning, Brandy was vocal about what she and her groom spent per guest to throw their wedding: $200.) Of course at this point (twice) Brandy-the-bride should've said, "We know you're strapped. We don't need a wedding gift, we just wanted to celebrate with you."

More from Glamour: 25 Celebrity Hairstyles That Will Make You Want Bangs

Instead she basically said, "Show me the money." Here's a text convo. (The candles are part of the bridal shower gift, I assume.)

Courtesy of GlamourI was going to add little arrows to point out the parts where the bride was being out of line, but since everything she said was offensive, I went with numbers, so you'll know which section of offensiveness I'm referencing.

More from Glamour: 10 Wardrobe Essentials Every Woman Should Own

1. It's poor form to ever mention gifts to your guests. And worse form to imply that "a card" [read: cash] is the gift you're expecting.

2. Your money woes are NOT your guests' problem. If you couldn't afford to throw a $200-a-head wedding, you shouldn't have done so at the expense of, say, your electricity.

3. "U coming for free" I. Just. Can't.

4. Oh MAH GAWD. A baby shower, like a wedding, is not an open call for gifts. It's a celebration of something wonderful in your life, which you should want the people you love to be a part of, regardless of their ability to "make up" for their crustless cucumber sandwiches.

Here is the "card" Gretchen later dropped off (with the identifying info blurred out, unfortunately):

Courtesy of GlamourWell done, Gretchen. Well done.

Is anyone OK with this bride's behavior?

More from Glamour:
8 Hair Color Ideas To Try This Fall
8 Workout Moves for a Toned Body in Two Weeks
The 10 Prettiest Hair, Nail and Makeup Looks for Fall 2013

Subscribe to The Heart Beat | Friend us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and find us on Pinterest

Photos: Courtesy of Glamour

Oct 20, 2013 11:08AM
I have a similar friend as well, a secondary school friend. had not contacted each other
 for many years (we were good friends during school but some how lost contact after
 graduation) until he notified me of his wedding. 
Attended and wrote a cheque for $300 (2pax) in a rundown hotel. But then few days 
later my wife told me he posted my cheque picture on FB, claiming me a cheat and 
gave him a bounced cheque. I told him to take it down while I check with bank. 
Found out that the bank had consolidated the bank account but I was not timely notified,
 thus the bounced cheque. I went over to his place and passed him $500, and after 
reaching home, deleted him from my FB and friend list. So much for a good friend.
Oct 17, 2013 10:14AM
she thinks that she has a husband now and is marrying and don't need anything else in the world anymore, period.
Oct 7, 2013 4:28PM
I would 100% not attend said wedding. I would, however, RSVP and choose a meal. Then not show up, and leave this letter. 

You want to be a greedy bitch, have fun wasting your precious money. 
Oct 6, 2013 10:05PM
I can't imagine that's the only friend that b**** lost.
Oct 6, 2013 4:29AM
Oct 6, 2013 12:33AM
Can anyone say Bridezilla?  Super bitch!!
Oct 5, 2013 9:50PM
The bride is a total bitch, and the guest/girlfriend is 100% right. $200/guest isn't cheap, but it's not excessive, and if you can't afford that, then you shouldn't be getting married, or you should be going cheap on the ceremony and reception. Considering that she got pregnant before she got married, she has all her priorities backwards, and the conversation about the wedding proves that.
Oct 5, 2013 4:26PM
bravo to you! This shows what our society is becoming...people just are so used to handouts that they don't even think twice about acting this way as the bride has done...The poor baby who is now involved in her mothers actions and thinking...this child has no chance in life to become a respectable human being...
Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage

  • courtesy of viralnova.com // courtesy of viralnova.com (courtesy of viralnova.com)

    This special note will make you believe in love

    Forgotten what love is all about? Read this note, and remember.

  • fotostorm, Getty Images // fotostorm, Getty Images (fotostorm, Getty Images)

    3 surprising factors that predict a happy love life

    And a few that aren't so shocking.

  • 9 marital habits

    9 marital habits to avoid

    If you find yourself doing any of these things, consider changing your behavior or counseling.

  • Glass lamps

    Inspiring expert wedding ideas

    From pineapple sculptures made out of sunflowers to bold graphic printed tablecloths, ten trendsetters in the wedding industry shared 100 days’ worth of inspiring new wedding details. See The Knot editors’ top picks for the coolest and most awe-worthy ideas from the wedding experts.

  • Ever couple gets into the nothing fight

    The 10 rocky moments every relationship faces

    Those Facebook friends who seem to have perfect lives with flawless mates whom they adore at all times? Even they face tough times like these.

  • Lies wives tell

    7 lies your wife tells you

    How to flag her little fibs. By Laura Tedesco

  • A new study on attraction may help explain why fashions change. AFP Photo, ©Serg Zastavkin, shutterstock.com // A new study on attraction may help explain why fashions change. AFP Photo, ©Serg Zastavkin, shutterstock.com (A new study on attraction may help explain why fashions change. AFP Photo, ©Serg Zastavkin, shutterstock.com)

    Being the odd one out may make you more attractive

    A new study on attraction may help explain why fashions change.

  • The Viceroy Anguilla

    Great getaways for a spring-summer honeymoon

    As a general rule, any island that offers great weather year-round is going to attract the most visitors in the winter (high season) when we’re all trying to escape the snow. Once summer rolls around, many islands see a sharp drop-off in tourism since many people have beach weather right in their own backyards.

  • Getty Images

    The top 10 complaints from unhappy husbands

    And how you can attack the issues together.

  • 25 wedding photo bombs

    25 wedding photo bombs

    A wedding is an exceptionally special day. Sometimes, an opportune photo flub makes the occasion even more memorable. Here are 25 awesome wedding photo bombs.

  • He takes you on nondrinking dates.

    7 signs he’s getting serious about you

    Somewhere between the first few butterfly-inducing dates and the committed-for-life stage, there’s the period of wondering if you’re both on the same page about how serious you feel about a future together. If you’re not quite at the point of "that talk" but you’re looking for a few clues you’re heading in that direction, here are some signs he’s in it for the long haul as your relationship progresses.

  • 'Have you tried online dating?'

    15 things single people are tired of hearing

    What’s that sound? It’s white noise blocking out the well-meaning person proclaiming groundbreaking news about where you can meet someone, asking why you’re still single, or bugging you about when you’re getting married already. Don’t be that person. Here are 15 annoying things all single people don’t want to hear.

buzzing now on msn living
The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner
relationship videos
editor's picks
the heart beat