What Does it Mean to Ditch Your Wedding Ring?
Experts say wedding rings might be losing their symbolic value.
While most of the women I know wouldn’t stand for it, there’s been a lot of buzz around husbands opting not to wear their wedding bands. According to some experts, people just don’t value the symbolism in a ring like they used to.
“I know I’m married, everybody else knows I’m married. I just don’t have no desire to wear it, at all.”
Richard Rhodes has been happily married for 15 years and says he hasn’t worn his ring since he tied the knot.
“I took it off right after the reception and I ain’t seen it since,” said Rhodes.
But the wedding ring is not just a symbol of love for married couples; it’s also an “off-limits” sign for singles.
Psychiatrist Gary Malone says that when a man decides not to wear his ring, it’s usually because he wants to “present himself as not married.”
We didn’t need a psychiatrist to tell us that, but it helps.
“He gets all the payoff of presenting himself as single, while he actually gets the other payoff of having a wife at home,” Malone says.
And yes, Rhodes is getting hit on when he presents himself as single:
“The attention is good, but usually the attention fades down as soon as you give them the statement, I’m married, I have two kids and I ain’t never leaving my wife, usually the attention goes away after that,” said Rhodes.
I think they key word here is “usually.”
Malone argues that, while some couples do choose to go ring-less, they’re usually sacrificing something in that agreement.
“It means there’s some trade off in your dynamic that makes it okay to do that,” Malone says. He adds that social customs are around for a reason.
Meanwhile, if wedding rings have lost their significance, maybe people will take divorce rings seriously?
Gisele Ganne, a French jewelry designer, has created a line of divorce rings to represent the fact that nearly half of marriages end in divorce. The rings are decorated with anti-marriage symbols, like gold bird skulls. Women apparently wear them on their wedding ring fingers to emphatically declare, “I don’t!”
My husband spent many of the last 10 of 12 years we have been married not wearing his wedding ring for one reason or another and i just recently found out that its because of the those 12 years 10 were spent sleeping with other women!!!!
I never took my rings off in those 10 years till i found out about his side activities and i havent worn them since...they are tarnished and no longer mean what they use to!
so...you do have desire to wear it?
It now sits in my wife's jewelry box. We live in the country and we don't go bar-hopping. We are known in our circles and there's no messin' around. I'm happy to not be wearing the ring and my wife is totally ok with it. In fact, hers is very tight too, but it will probably need to be cut. We're thinking of taking her to have that done, and have her ring rejoined around my ring and leave them both in the box! We don't view this concept as a 'threat' to our bond. But for younger couples, I agree. Especially with some of the guys I knew back when. They were man-whores and that ring was definitely a hamper to their desires. I had no respect for them either--or the women. You can read people pretty good on that kind of stuff. But for us--totally different.
If you are making a choice not to wear it then there are reasons for that, taking it off for work or safety concearns does not apply to this. There are many industries wear this is a common practice. I work in such an industry but I still choose to put my ring back on when I am not at work or going to be in the office. The ring is a huge symbol, it is not only worn to say that I'm taken but to keep would be adultresses from making a first move, (although this does not always happen) it does prevent some from even attempting. there is not just one reason for the wearing of the ring, there are many that all tie together. I do agree that it can be adventagous to your career to present yourself as single in some situations but those situations should be handled with extreme care.
love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage
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