Study: Men's Porn Habits Hurt Women's Self-Esteem
When does a harmless habit become hurtful?
As a generation of men are growing up with virtual sex lives, their real-life partners are becoming increasingly unhappy, a new study finds. Specifically, young women with porn-loving partners feel they just can't measure up to Jenna Jameson—or whoever happens to tickle their man's fancy.
Destin Stewart is a clinical psychology intern at the University of Florida. After her clients began complaining about pornography use in their relationships, Stewart decided to study exactly how porn use is affecting those relationships.
She surveyed 308 college women (ages 18 to 29) and asked them about their current partner's pornography habits. She also wanted the women's perspectives on their relationship quality, sexual satisfaction and self-esteem. Stewart found that the ladies who reported their partners looked at porn more frequently were not only less happy with their relationships, they also had less self-esteem and were less satisfied with their sex lives.
Stewart told LiveScience that when some women discovered pornographic material on their partner's computer, it made them "feel like they were not good enough, like they could not measure up."
While one might argue that the men weren't there to confirm their habits in the study, it's apparent that pornography is negatively affecting an increasing number of relationships. Psychiatrist Norman Doidge studied the effects of porn use in his patients and then reported the findings in his book, The Brain Changes Itself:
"They reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their actual sexual partners, spouses or girlfriends, though they still considered them objectively attractive." Doidge wrote about his patients. "When I asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography, they answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex, but over time had the opposite effect."
Stewart says that when porn becomes a problem in relationships, she advises women not to compare themselves to porn stars. She also urges couples to communicate and compromise.
"It's just about trying to do some education about what is realistic and unrealistic and trying to get couples to be honest about what their wants and needs and desires are," Stewart said.
As much as we women would love our men to only have eyes for us, let's face it. As long as there are women willing to do anything, everything and put it out there for the world to see, men are going to look. But Aristotle said to seek moderation in all things, and while I don’t think he was referring to watching online porn, it's not bad advice.
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Photo: Patrick Sheandell O'Carroll/Getty Images
More on love & sex from MSN Living:
Do men take it personally? Should they?
What about women who watch porn? I mean, I can't be the only woman in the world who enjoys porn. And every man I've been with has known that, and I'm 100% certain my boyfriend currently doesn't have self-esteem issues because I watch and enjoy pornography. This sounds like a very one-sided study here.
And if these women feel like they can't measure up, perhaps they can discuss with their partners about trying some new things, fullfilling fantasies and so forth. I mean, these guys are watching for a specific reason. Find out why! Don't just sit idly by when the obvious thing to do is find out why your man is watching and do everything in your power to make his fantasy a reality. (And FYI, I only watch porn on the weeknight because my boyfriend and I don't live together, work long hours all week long, and spend the weekends together. But I don't watch porn when I'm with him as I'd much prefer the real thing!)
It can become out of control …an addiction. These modifiable video PC games with their open source codes are pure Evil in the works. Do a search on you tube for Skyrim and mods “what they refer to as the modifications” Do a deeper search with naughty words. Look at what some men are playing 4 hours while they ignore you dementing their brains.. you tube is continuously deleting the worst videos of it. Go to nexusmods then log in to take a deeper look at the “adult only” content. It’s disgusting. They can change ANY aspect of the game. ALL PLAYERS images, movements, and speech is modifiable with ANY replacement the player wants. They do with patches called mods.. Shame on these game company’s like Bethesda Softworks LLC a ZeniMax Media company for allowing this to go on with their open source code. It's truly disturbing and the things of nightmares and what may breed a serial killer or rapist with hours of playing. Nude girls being abused numerous ways in cages: sexually, bloodily, and humiliatingly.
Today I did a quick search just before this post and saw a man post a video where he where had turned all the players nude was lining men players up and blowing off their …well castrating them in a bloody mess. Shame on the gaming industry if you call them they say they are not responsible for people modify their games these days... BUT they R and should be responsible for allowing it to be easily done in the 1st place with open source code. Killing games SHOULD NOT be allowed to be turned porno graphic with patches. It's deeply disturbing.
It's a Real Modern Day Problem with technology this Advanced and this Easily Accessible even by children. And the amount of hours some may spend doing it.
love: friendship, dating, sex & marriage
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