Motivated couples have better sex lives
There may not be a universally 'right' amount of sex in a long-term relationship, but some people do seem to keep their love lives active long after others have cooled their bedroom activity.
As it turns out, the couples who keep having more sex have a fairly simple and obvious trait in common: They are motivated to meet each other's needs.
In a 21-day study of 44 long-term and cohabiting couples, researchers identified those with a strong motivation to fulfill their partner's needs without getting something in return, particularly their partner's sexual needs.
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Those participants also reported higher levels of daily desire, and continued to have that desire in a four-month follow-up period. Those people who were less committed to fulfilling their partner's needs had lower desire to begin with, which continued to decline in the follow-up. This was the case across different ages, relationship durations and, most surprisingly (in my opinion), whether or not the couple had children.
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It's a small sample of people, and worth noting that it wasn't very racially diverse, but it's hard to argue that couples who are more in tune with responding to each other's needs would have better sex lives — and a better relationship in general, I would guess.
Tell us in the comments: Do you think you and your guy make every effort to fulfill each other's needs?
Photo: Happy couple / Dimitri Vervitsiotis/Getty Images
2. Ladies, if you want your man to be better in bed, then give it up more often.
3. Practice makes perfect !
Most people under 40 have their faces buried in their cell phones so much that they don't have time to establish a meaningful relationship. Add to that the fact that most Americans come from divorced parents and children never see what a long term relationship is like close up. I cannot believe the number of people who marvel at the fact that I was married once... 40 years ago, and am still married to that same woman.
If you never see a longterm relationship; if you never experience two people so deeply devoted to each other that the marriage is above the petty nuisances of everyday life, then you cannot possibly understand how great sex can be.
love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage
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