Thinking of divorce? One expert recommends a 'consorce'
Is it possible to stay together during your separation?
In recent years, researchers have been exploring the link between the economic downturn and the rate of divorce, and at least one study shows that divorce rates are lower during a recession.
Many couples decide to stay in an unhappy marriage rather than pay for a costly divorce and risk financial ruin. But one expert says he has a solution for couples who want to split but also want to "avoid the myriad costs of divorce." It's been dubbed a consorce, and essentially, it involves estranged couples cohabitating for the sake of their finances—and children.
More on MSN Living: Most common holiday arguments—and how to avoid them
In an article for Fox News, psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow writes:
"The idea of married couples deciding on a 'consorce,' rather than a divorce, is this: Why should a couple split up the family funds, maintain two dwellings, involve the courts in their lives, hire attorneys and cause each other months or years of suffering when they could simply agree that the romantic part of their marriage has ended and that they will remain married and live together as friends and partners, in order to maintain a level of consistency for their children?"
Ablow goes so far as to suggest couples that can still sleep in the same bedroom "without sexual contact expected by either individual."
The obvious issue with this arrangement is, if you're contemplating divorce, you probably want a separate life from your partner. But Ablow argues that it's beneficial to turn the marriage into a friendship and essentially become roommates.
More on MSN Living: The biggest rocks of 2012
A consorce isn't an open marriage, either. Couples agree to adopt a "Don't ask; Don't tell" policy regarding their separate sex lives.
Psychologically, Ablow says a consorce relieves couples from the pressure and expectation of being with their partner forever—romantically and sexually.
"[Consorce] allows them to maintain their households and become very reliable partners to one another and very close friends," he writes.
Obviously, this isn't a solution for every marital situation.
But what do you think—if you were contemplating divorce, would you first try a consorce?
Photo: stevecoleimages/Getty Images
Bing: What time of year do divorce rates rise?
More Sex & Love on MSN Living:
10 places to meet a man for the holidays
7 strategies to divorce-proof marriages
The way to his heart after 1, 5 and 10 years of marriage
What does your engagement ring say about you
love: friendship, dating, sex & marriage
-
11 modern wedding color schemes
We’ve made picking your palette a breeze! Just find your favorite hue and choose one of the cool combos below.
-
11 ideas for a summer wedding
Get inspired with these twelve ideas for a fantastic, fun summer wedding!
-
Marriage proposals gone wrong
What's worse than getting snubbed while proposing? Having your heart broken in front of countless strangers.
-
25 ways to not have a boring wedding ceremony
Want your I do's to be totally you? From pre-wedding cocktails to Mad Lib vows, here are 25 ways to make your ceremony as unforgettable as your reception.
-
17 rules for summer love
Summer love can be sweet. But it tends to be fast, feverish and often fleeting. In a season where emotions run hot, here are some rules to help avoid heartbreak.
-
5 people who might try to ruin your wedding
We asked brides on TheKnot.com to tell all -- and they did. Here, five of the most likely culprits and advice for how to deal with your drama-causing guests along the way.
-
The best ways to flirt
This short course in flirting will not only teach you how to flirt better but also how to tell when someone is flirting with you—and how to respond. Have fun.
-
10 'Great Gatsby'-inspired wedding details
Gatsby glamour doesn’t have to just live on the big screen! Embrace the trendy (yet timeless) art deco style with sequins, pearls, feathers and geometric patterns. Check out these art deco ideas and achieve the feel of 1920s decadence. By the way, all of these are affordable, except for the $600 hairpiece which is a splurge, but a knockout. Shop the look!
-
Summer love: Is it a fling or the real thing?
Wondering if your summer love will last? Here are 15 signs if your seasonal love is fleeting or for real.
-
The most memorable star-crossed movie couples
Sixteen years after "Titanic’s" release—and 101 years after the historic ship’s notorious sinking—our hearts still go on for star-crossed lovers Rose DeWitt Bukater (Kate Winslet) and Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio). We rounded up some of our favorite ill-fated, but oh-so-romantic affairs on film, from "Gone with the Wind" to "Moulin Rouge!".
-
How to flirt with your husband
Flirting shouldn't be retired once you've got the ring. We asked relationship expert Harlan Cohen, as well as real husbands, the best way to keep the sparks flying.
-
Your man questions, manswered
When we're annoyed by male behavior, we turn to columnist Aaron Traister. His logic may be strange, but we have to admit, it's pretty helpful. Here, he answers our many questions for guys.
