Thinking of divorce? One expert recommends a 'consorce'
Is it possible to stay together during your separation?
In recent years, researchers have been exploring the link between the economic downturn and the rate of divorce, and at least one study shows that divorce rates are lower during a recession.
Many couples decide to stay in an unhappy marriage rather than pay for a costly divorce and risk financial ruin. But one expert says he has a solution for couples who want to split but also want to "avoid the myriad costs of divorce." It's been dubbed a consorce, and essentially, it involves estranged couples cohabitating for the sake of their finances—and children.
More on MSN Living: Most common holiday arguments—and how to avoid them
In an article for Fox News, psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow writes:
"The idea of married couples deciding on a 'consorce,' rather than a divorce, is this: Why should a couple split up the family funds, maintain two dwellings, involve the courts in their lives, hire attorneys and cause each other months or years of suffering when they could simply agree that the romantic part of their marriage has ended and that they will remain married and live together as friends and partners, in order to maintain a level of consistency for their children?"
Ablow goes so far as to suggest couples that can still sleep in the same bedroom "without sexual contact expected by either individual."
The obvious issue with this arrangement is, if you're contemplating divorce, you probably want a separate life from your partner. But Ablow argues that it's beneficial to turn the marriage into a friendship and essentially become roommates.
More on MSN Living: The biggest rocks of 2012
A consorce isn't an open marriage, either. Couples agree to adopt a "Don't ask; Don't tell" policy regarding their separate sex lives.
Psychologically, Ablow says a consorce relieves couples from the pressure and expectation of being with their partner forever—romantically and sexually.
"[Consorce] allows them to maintain their households and become very reliable partners to one another and very close friends," he writes.
Obviously, this isn't a solution for every marital situation.
But what do you think—if you were contemplating divorce, would you first try a consorce?
Photo: stevecoleimages/Getty Images
More Sex & Love on MSN Living:
10 places to meet a man for the holidays
7 strategies to divorce-proof marriages
The way to his heart after 1, 5 and 10 years of marriage
What does your engagement ring say about you
love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage
How to flag her little fibs. By Laura Tedesco
A new study on attraction may help explain why fashions change.
As a general rule, any island that offers great weather year-round is going to attract the most visitors in the winter (high season) when we’re all trying to escape the snow. Once summer rolls around, many islands see a sharp drop-off in tourism since many people have beach weather right in their own backyards.
And how you can attack the issues together.
A wedding is an exceptionally special day. Sometimes, an opportune photo flub makes the occasion even more memorable. Here are 25 awesome wedding photo bombs.
Somewhere between the first few butterfly-inducing dates and the committed-for-life stage, there’s the period of wondering if you’re both on the same page about how serious you feel about a future together. If you’re not quite at the point of "that talk" but you’re looking for a few clues you’re heading in that direction, here are some signs he’s in it for the long haul as your relationship progresses.
What’s that sound? It’s white noise blocking out the well-meaning person proclaiming groundbreaking news about where you can meet someone, asking why you’re still single, or bugging you about when you’re getting married already. Don’t be that person. Here are 15 annoying things all single people don’t want to hear.
With just a few days left before the big day, you already have a mile-long checklist of to-dos—now meet the don’ts! From impromptu skin treatments to all-night movie marathons, here are 11 things to avoid at all costs.
A new study shows that watching and discussing romantic films can drastically reduce your chance of divorce. These flicks more than fit the bill.
These seemingly innocent phrases still have the power to wound… big time.
Making "I do" last forever is one of the biggest challenges you'll ever face—and it's normal to worry about how you'll do it. But, if your connection involves any of these things, rest assured that you're in it for the long run.
Ultimately, as hard as it may seem at the beginning, a marital affair can be a turning point.