Macho Men Threatened When Women Earn More

A new study shows why macho men often struggle in their relationships.

By Kristin Wong Jul 20, 2012 2:43PM

Gender roles are becoming increasingly marginalized, but that doesn't mean they've been tossed out for good.

Researchers from Fordham University in New York recently conducted a study which found that "macho" men feel threatened when their female partners make more money than they do. Bad news for macho guys, considering that just this week, a new survey found that the majority of women in the U.S. are the breadwinners of their households.

The Fordham University study included 47 men who had higher-earning female partners. Researchers Patrick Coughlin and Jay Wade assessed the men's feelings on masculinity, the quality of their relationships and "the importance of the disparity in income between them and their female partners," according to the press release.

According to the results, when the man had a traditional view of masculinity, he was more likely to report a low-quality relationship. And, you guessed it—he was also more likely to place an importance on the income disparity between himself and his partner.

"Our results demonstrate the importance of masculinity ideology in understanding how and why men with higher-earning partners will have low or high quality romantic relationships," Coughlin and Wade said in the press release. "The findings are relevant to men who are married as well as non-married men in a romantic relationship."

Sure, it's easy to write these guys off as closed-minded meat heads (especially when they're labeled "macho"), but there's another side to the coin. Surveys seem to show that women also tend to have traditional views of gender roles when it comes to money. For example, earlier this month, a survey conducted by an online dating site found that a whopping 75 percent of women are unlikely to date a guy who's unemployed.

"Not having a job will definitely make it harder for men to date someone they don't already know," said Irene LaCota, spokesperson for the site, It's Just Lunch.

But according to LaCota, the results have less to do with money and more to do with women's concern that the guy is "engaged in activity." Apparently, women view unemployed men as having a lack of drive and ambition. Fair enough, but here's the thing. Unemployment didn't have the same social stigma for women as it did for men. Two thirds of men in the survey said they had no problem dating a woman who's unemployed.

The point is, while these "macho" men could easily be written off for their insular views on gender roles, women often seem to have those same antiquated views.

As a good friend said to me recently, "most of the women I go out with make way more money than me, yet I'm still expected to pay for the date."

Even though I argued relentlessly with him about this, he has a point. Many of us want the traditional gender roles and the double standards to exist, but only if we get to pick and choose when. So can we really blame the machos for feeling threatened? The issue is simply not that simple.

The press release continues:

"The breadwinner role for men is still the accepted norm in marriage, and allows for and supports the husband's power and authority in the family. It is therefore reasonable for a man who earns less than his female partner to feel removed from this traditional gender role, and feel a void because he does not fulfill this role."

Men may have been bringing home the bacon for ages, but if the latest statistics are any indication, it looks like it's time to redefine our roles.

What do you think? Do you expect the man in the relationship to make more? Would you date a man who made substantially less than you?

Photo: Tim Kiusalaas/Getty Images

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The DOs and DON’Ts of Dating More Than One Guy at a Time

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91Comments

Best

Jul 21, 2012 8:03PM

I am a 57 year old man who has worked since I was a farm boy and got put on the tractor in the summers when I was seven years old, so I have essentially worked for 50 years. Now, despite the fact that I have two college degrees and years of both blue-collar and technical work experience, I can't buy a job. Ten interviews have only yielded three temporary jobs. Without being too paranoid, I believe it is at least partly because of my age. Thank God I have a working wife who is a CPA and now has more earning potential than I do. I didn't marry until my early 30s, so I know how to cook, clean house, do laundry and whatever else is required to keep the house and yard in order. Only seems fair since she is making the money. Macho only lasts as long as some men make the most money and are in total control. It goes out the window when you have to acknowledge your wife as the breadwinner.

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Darthfrodo

Jul 21, 2012 5:00PM

I hope she makes more than me, then she can buy her own Mercedes.

I asked my ex wife what she'd do if I won the lottery. She said, 'I'd divorce you and take half.' I threw her $3 and said, "I won $6, see you in court."

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midnightrun

Jul 21, 2012 7:04PM

I would have no problem dating a man who earns less than I do. It all depends on the person. I totally diagree with the comment about how men don't make good nurses. I am a female nurse and men do belong in this profession, they are good. Feminism is not about equality, it is about female supremacy. Feminism has turned many women into bitches who expect to have everything ' their' way. I am a woman, educated, had a good job till i got laid off in the last month but I do not need feminism to be able to be who and have what I want in life. In fact it has caused some things to backfire on me. Feminism has caused very unfair treatment of men / fathers in divorce court / custody cases. This has been disasterous for the men and their children. With the damage of feminism it is no wonder there are men's rights movements forming and gaining strength. Ok, I will get off my soap box now. Thanks.

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Windy212

Jul 21, 2012 9:37PM

We all need to help each other out going through lifes unpredictable times. My other and I have been through three past recessions starting with the 1970's. We made it through

when there was only one pay check and ate only hotdogs and beans or crackers and cheese. Looking back we can laugh about it now, but we cried back then especially

when we had to sell a valuable collection of baseball cards to pay the rent. Keep the

Faith, keep a smile and keep going. Life is short. Have a good friend along with you

for the journey, then you know your truly rich.

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M. Baker

Jul 21, 2012 5:09PM

Why did the writer of this article argue with a man relentlessly about the idiocy of expecting a man to pay for the date when the woman makes more? Look, I get that if a man asks a woman out the first time, it's nice if he pays, since the inviting party should pay, in terms of etiquette. (It's also nice if the woman pitches in by leaving the tip or buying the popcorn at the theater.) But if the woman asks, why shouldn't she pay? If two people are dating over a period of time, why shouldn't they trade off? I'm a woman, and I've never understood women who say "The guy pays. Period." They never give a reason, they just repeat it like a child saying "Because" when you ask him why.

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Mikelicious

Jul 21, 2012 5:18PM

It took a flipping study to figure this out..duh. Women are judged by looks, men by income.

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SPARTAN-501

Jul 21, 2012 6:32PM

The only time it should be a problem is when one side uses it as leverage.

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TheJesus

Jul 21, 2012 7:44PM

In this Economy who cares who makes more! I don't know why there is so much writing in this article? Macho men threaten by women who make more duh Macho men are threaten by a lot of things that's why they are macho men!

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