Is make-up sex unhealthy?

One expert likens it to cocaine.

By Kristin Wong Jan 24, 2013 5:32PM

Some say it's the best sex ever, but according to one expert, make-up sex is downright unhealthy.

"Intense romantic relationships often include powerful arguments, followed by powerful make-up sex," writes Seth Meyers, Psy.D, in an article for Psychology Today.

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Meyers argues that make-up sex is simply a distraction from the negative issues in a relationship and goes on to write, "it's not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine."

Not surprisingly, Meyers' coke comparison stirred up a bit of controversy.

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In a post on the blog Babble, one writer responded:

"Really now. I may not know what it feels like to be 'an addict who needs a hit of cocaine' but is anyone ever really that desperate to switch gears while fighting?"

But let's hear Meyers out. He says that regular sex in a healthy relationship is all about feeling intimacy and trust. But that's not what motivates make-up sex.

"The truth is that most make-up sex results from having felt and expressed extreme negative emotions during a heated argument, without any true resolution afterward. During make-up sex, couples often express extreme positive emotions and they reach a momentary state of bliss. They declare grand statements of love and feel, in that moment, that they are sure they belong together. The problem: this isn't real intimacy."

Meyers says there's no room for confusion, anger or sadness during a sexual encounter—a reasonable suggestion. He adds that, if you find yourself in the middle of make-up sex, "gently pull back and explain to your partner that you want to stop and try again later."

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Some still see it differently, however. In a Health magazine article, writer Jennifer Berman argued that make-up sex is actually a healthy way to spice up your love life:

"It be madly passionate, but it can also sustain intimacy during tough times. Besides, it's natural to feel turned on after an argument."

I suppose, ultimately, it just depends on the situation. But what do you think—is make-up sex unhealthy for a relationship?

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