The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

Is make-up sex unhealthy?

One expert likens it to cocaine.

By Kristin Wong Jan 24, 2013 5:32PM

Some say it's the best sex ever, but according to one expert, make-up sex is downright unhealthy.

"Intense romantic relationships often include powerful arguments, followed by powerful make-up sex," writes Seth Meyers, Psy.D, in an article for Psychology Today.

Photo: Novastock/Getty ImagesMore on MSN LivingKissing dos and don'ts

Meyers argues that make-up sex is simply a distraction from the negative issues in a relationship and goes on to write, "it's not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine."

Not surprisingly, Meyers' coke comparison stirred up a bit of controversy.

More on MSN Living50 wedding cost-cutting tips from real brides

In a post on the blog Babble, one writer responded:

"Really now. I may not know what it feels like to be 'an addict who needs a hit of cocaine' but is anyone ever really that desperate to switch gears while fighting?"

But let's hear Meyers out. He says that regular sex in a healthy relationship is all about feeling intimacy and trust. But that's not what motivates make-up sex.

"The truth is that most make-up sex results from having felt and expressed extreme negative emotions during a heated argument, without any true resolution afterward. During make-up sex, couples often express extreme positive emotions and they reach a momentary state of bliss. They declare grand statements of love and feel, in that moment, that they are sure they belong together. The problem: this isn't real intimacy."

Meyers says there's no room for confusion, anger or sadness during a sexual encounter—a reasonable suggestion. He adds that, if you find yourself in the middle of make-up sex, "gently pull back and explain to your partner that you want to stop and try again later."

Bing: Sex with condom feels just as good, according to study

Some still see it differently, however. In a Health magazine article, writer Jennifer Berman argued that make-up sex is actually a healthy way to spice up your love life:

"It be madly passionate, but it can also sustain intimacy during tough times. Besides, it's natural to feel turned on after an argument."

I suppose, ultimately, it just depends on the situation. But what do you think—is make-up sex unhealthy for a relationship?

Subscribe to The Heart Beat

More from The Heart Beat: 
Study: Couples too tired for sex
How rekindled romance is ruining relationships

New trend: Divorce parties

Love content like this? Friend us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and find us on Pinterest

Photo: Novastock/Getty Images

Jan 24, 2013 6:58PM

make up love is where the arguement has been resolved and the "anger" has been tranformed to "want you so bad"

honestly.. no matter what the situation is, hubby seems to be more turned on when i'm angry and ignoring his cuddles.. that's what makes it so hot, after we work out a disagreement, cause i know how bad he wants it =)

no matter what though, as a couple, it's healthier to discuss any conflicts when it's fresh compared to days later, work it out, make up and move on.. so exhausting to be mad

Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage

buzzing now on msn living
The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner
relationship videos
editor's picks
the heart beat