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The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

Majority of men willing to look past an affair

Only 7% of men want a divorce after being cheated on, a recent poll finds.

By Kristin Wong Apr 4, 2013 11:11PM

There's a lot of heartbreak out there.

For many people, the pain of infidelity can last for years. A recent poll from the website Survive Her Affair found that 91 percent of men say their wife's cheating is the most difficult thing they've ever been though. Only 9 percent of respondents had experienced something worse, such as military duty or a severe hospitalization.

No doubt, cheating hurts.

angry couple

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But that same poll also found that men are surprisingly forgiving when it comes to infidelity. Ninety-two percent of betrayed men said they either wanted to save their marriage or they were unsure.

The site polled more than 1,500 men who had been cheated on. Seventy-one percent of them said they still loved their wife. An additional 24 percent weren't sure how they felt after the affair, and only 4 percent of men said they no longer had feelings for their wife.

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It may not be the most scientific poll, but it's still a significant finding — most men are serious about saving their marriage. In 2012, dating site Ourtime.com conducted a similar survey. It found that, in general, only 42 percent of adults would be willing to work on a relationship after their partner had an affair. But for those in the Survive Her Affair poll, the situation isn't hypothetical; they've actually experienced the pain of having an unfaithful spouse.

Yet only 7.9 percent said they had absolutely no desire to save their marriage.

"The fact that men are willing to 'work through' infidelity in their marriage – despite the soul-crushing pain of the emotional trauma – is testament to the desperation many men feel," said Kevin Jackson, a relationship expert who conducted the survey. 

His advice?

"We as a society must overcome our taboo on discussing the prevalence of affairs if we are to address this problem directly – and save ourselves from this most basic and archetypal of human pains."

What do you think? Have you been cheated on? If so, did you work past it or were you ready to end the relationship?

More from The Heart Beat:

101Comments
Apr 24, 2013 6:10AM
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Cheating whore wives.   They are no good.   They have snakes in their heads.   They are destructive.  

Apr 24, 2013 5:48AM
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Only pansy **** momma boys get married or stay in a relationship when cheated on. Look around at the women who are married. Those men they married are no men they are slave who would rather wear an apron instead of a belt. Real men stay single these days and do to women what their mom's taught them to do to men. Flip the script
Apr 24, 2013 5:22AM
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I feel sorry for the poor bastards that stick around... my wife ever ****s around on me and she's out! One strike, that's it!
Apr 24, 2013 4:42AM
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Cheating is unforgiveable, and is a sure sign of disrespect on the offenders part, just remember people will only do to you what you let themand once they see youll let them then all betts are off and your in for more cheating. Cheating is simply seeing if the other person is dumb enough to let you get away with it. And its like deceiving another person and being able to get away with it. So take your pride and dump the cheater. 
Apr 24, 2013 4:21AM
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Personally I think it is ALL just a bunch of bs. I am amazed, let me repeat that amazed what men and women will tolerate / forgive in relationships and marriages BUT this one thing fidelity / monogamy is the line we draw in the sand. Alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling addiction, letting oneself go from attractive when you meet to schlubby years later due to complacency / laziness, despising in-laws, differing opinions on child rearing leading to arguments, grumpiness, laziness, disrespect, and the list goes on and on and on. But oh no wait, we draw the line in the sand at fidelity and monogamy. Bullsh**t.

Well I say if you can't forgive or "think outside the box" on fidelity and monogamy then (wait for it) welcome to the other 50+%. You know the 50+% of divorcees, marriage failures, etc. Marriage as defined by the "Ozzie and Harriet" era is a dying institution. Don't believe me well refer to the numbers regarding divorce and of those not divorced happy versus unhappy marriages. Personally, I could care less what others think of this comment, I just enjoy holding up that mirror allowing everyone to see the reflection in 2013...and the fun house mirror that gives you a fake reflection but the real reflection.
Apr 24, 2013 3:38AM
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I know someone who's boyfriend of 6 years cheated on her with one of his exes. After months of being apart and of him begging her to take him back she forgave him and they eventually got back together. Then one night during a party she got drunk and cheated on him and he couldn't forgive her... he broke up with her and now he's been dating someone else for almost a year now.

B.S article.
Apr 24, 2013 3:31AM
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I'm a female but I would be in the 7% for sure.
Apr 24, 2013 3:30AM
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Should you cheat, the absolute worse thing you could do is get married to the person you cheated with. You can't get a good relationship from a bad beginning.

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