The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

3 guys you shouldn't date

Which guys are on HC's No-Fly List? Read to find out.

By HerCampus.com Jul 16, 2013 9:00PM

Admit it; your last boyfriend was a loser. He never returned your calls, he broke off dates and he flirted with everything that had a pair of you-know-whats, but you were in love. Every time he coughed up the $3.95 to take you on an ice cream date, you melted faster than your chocolate chip mint cone. Cue gag. How could you have been so wrong? You were a sucker, like millions of women across the globe.

Photo: Guys you shouldn't date / Josef/Getty Images The perfect guy is hard to find, but the wrong ones seem to be in total abundance.

Camouflaged with flattery and a spot-on sense of style, he might seem like The One, but he's not, and you might not know until it's too late. To save you the post-breakup cocktails and raw cookie dough, Her Campus is here with our No-Fly List. Beware these three guys. They are wolves in sheep's clothing (or a perfectly tailored J.Crew sweater). Proceed with caution.

The Romantic Player

Red roses, jewelry, sweet-talking and romantic dinner dates at the chicest restaurants — this is how the Romantic Player sucks you in. Before you sign your love life away on the dotted Facebook relationship status line, consider this — doesn't it seem too good to be true? After a few dates, you're probably feeling like the luckiest girl in the world ... but so are three other girls you didn't know about.

"This happened twice with two different boys," says Amy*, a music student. "Three girls involved, including me. We were all in love with him, and even though I might have been his current girlfriend, he was sort of in relationships with each one of us."

It's easy to get played, and even if you see the warning signs, it might be hard to kick your man to the curb.

"You should check [out] his ex-girlfriends who [he's] still close to. Check if it's just pure friendship after all, but sometimes you can't get out of it even though you know what you got yourself into," she says.

The Romantic Player fulfills your deep-rooted relationship ideals to gain your complete trust. The minute you feel like a Disney princess, you're done for. Jillian*, a 20-year-old writing student, discovered this the hard way when she took a trip to New Jersey with her first long-term boyfriend. She became suspicious when a slew of her texts were ignored while her boyfriend was en route with their best friend Sara. Still, only after their relationship ended did she put two and two together.

"Sara drove all the way to Vermont [from New Jersey] just to pick him up, and I thought that was so weird. That night, we were all drunk, and he and Sara go in the bathroom for a good fifteen minutes. I thought it was weird at the time, but again, I didn't think anything of it. Then, Sara came out, and he gave me the dreaded 'we need to talk' line," says Jillian. "I'm definitely sure Sara was in there convincing him to dump me so she could be with him. I found out a week later that the last week we were at school, he hooked up with her. I logged onto his Facebook because I knew the password, and he had love notes saved from her. When I found them I was so upset."

While it's best to avoid these kinds of men, not all romantic guys have something to hide. But if your sweet-talking Prince Charming only hangs out with you during weird hours, receives mysterious texts he won't talk about or is frequently ignoring your calls until hours later, it might be time to send him packing.

The Star

Dating the captain of the football team or the lead singer of your campus's hottest band definitely gives you the cool factor, but is it worth it? These stars of their respective fields are just that — stars. Everyone wants them, and everyone wants to be them, but you can't achieve campus celebrity status without a lot of social networking (or hard partying and hooking up).

Mr. Popular is under a lot of pressure: He has to perform and be seen with the right people, and he likely has a fan club of sexy (and much thinner than you) co-eds who admire his "talent." He's always the center of attention, which leaves you standing on the sidelines or sitting alone in the back of the club. He's also short on time and frequently traveling without you. If he can fit you in between away games, training camps, or monthlong tours, consider yourself lucky.

"It's a constant battle for attention, because you never come first," says Meagan*, a 21-year-old student who dated a championship boxer. "The boys on the team always come first. If they go to a party, they don't want you tagging along."

It's no secret that your leading man will spend most of his time with his guy pals playing wingman, the bachelor or the party guy — especially if he's in a different city every night. Whether it's in the back of the tour bus or the men's locker room, these guys always kiss and tell.

"What the boys do is always a secret," says Meagan. "If they are in the locker room, they definitely are not talking about girls' personalities, but he'll never tell you what they are talking about. Your love life is constantly on display, but you never know what he's up to."

Remember, what happens on tour stays on tour, and after-parties are unfortunately exactly like they seem on TV — out of control. He'll never tell, and you'll always be wondering what happened.

The Arrogant Renaissance Man

There's nothing sexier than intelligence, which is why falling for the Arrogant Renaissance Man is so easy. Frequently disguised as an artist, writer or political activist, he will dazzle you with his knowledge of 16th-century poetry and a degree that will be finished by the time you're six years into the workforce. When you two are snuggling up to an art house flick and sipping on vegan milkshakes, don't be shocked if he starts to reminisce about his old days in PETA. Did you know he saved a lot of animals there? If you didn't, he will tell you all about it. He also probably didn't tell you this, but you've most likely figured it out on your own — he will always be better than you.

Kara*, a writing student, quickly discovered her blind date was a dud when he invited her back to his place to smoke flavored tobacco and listen to bands she hadn't heard of — clearly a ploy to lure her into the bedroom.

"I was only interested in this person because, quite frankly, he seemed a lot like me: monogamous, cultured, artsy and creative. But what I really got was someone who was incredibly pretentious, not at all humble and a complete snob," she says. "All that pretentious sweet-talking was a haphazard attempt at getting in my pants. I don't believe you're going to find a soul mate in someone who needs to brag about how much they know about Orwellian thought or early Renaissance literature."

Your guy might be smart, but smart guys don't need to constantly brag. If you can't get a word in during your dinner date because he's too busy talking about his spot on the Dean's List, it's time to show him the door.

To read about two more guys you definitely shouldn't date, and to read more love advice, check out HerCampus.com!

*Names have been changed.

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Photo: Guys you shouldn't date / Josef/Getty Images

Jul 20, 2013 2:57AM
not that i'm "gay" b/c i'm definitely not! but how about we shouldn't date any of them! - i'm just so sick of men and them being so stupid!
Jul 20, 2013 1:11AM
Women are no better than men and in some cases even worse! Women are fake, plastic oh lets not forget the plastic boobs. Men run, most women are out for money and nothing else. I like a women who can be real and roll on the floor and be themselves. But they look  what's in your wallet.
Jul 20, 2013 12:21AM
That is the biggest crock of **** I have ever read. I can write a book about women you shouldn't date. Lets state one fact here, if sex wasn't important, men and women wouldn't need to date. So yes, a man wants to check out the engine before he buys the car. He's smart enough to make sure its a model he wants before he gets stuck with it. Cut the games ladies. It doesn't matter if you sleep with a guy on the first date or the 20th date. If he likes you he will stick around for more. I can name a half dozen women who like to test drive men's wallets before the get involved. Both men and women come with there own dating issues. These days women are just as big of players as men so lets not kid our selves here. And tell me this, why the heck would you want to go on a few dates with some girl you just met and then a week or two later play the exclusive game and act like a married couple. What is this? High school? Are you that insecure that you need to be exclusive right away? Look, I don't care who the heck you date wile your dating me, if we have enough time together and we decide to get serious, then we can talk about marriage. Other then that, if we like each other we see each other if we don't, we don't. Its that simple. Last but not least, one thing strait, girls love a challenge of being chased, that makes them the biggest game, we are just the players of their own game. It would take a women to write an article about this. I could rewrite this article and make it ten times more real then who wrote this article. I sure wouldn't place all the blame on men. Let me put my wallet on a hook with a few diamonds and see how many women I would reel in. Unless your brad pit or Mr. Popular, women love to get what they can't get. End of story.
Jul 19, 2013 11:15PM
Jul 19, 2013 11:09PM
Slayer made a good point..Hey it's Friday night go out and tear up the town...! Throw some drinks around ,and down And do that magic you do so well..And if you end up w/a rabbit put him back in his hat...And go around another, put on your dancing shoes and have a great evening...Been hitched for twenty some years still wish..some days I could..Do it all over again...As for Mr. Wonderful..well you'll never find him sitting on the couch pounding down a 1/2 gallon of Ice cream wondering about it..Already..used up my dance ticket ..,but she did all right..? And it's date night..if your not into clubing it, go look at used cars..You'll find some guy who well catch your eye...Have great evening,follow your heart and let your conscience be your guide..?
Jul 19, 2013 11:07PM
Please, we've learned to tell women what they want to hear.
Jul 19, 2013 9:58PM
This is a great article..Dear Abby my boyfriend has no money, his car keeps breaking down.. blah blah blah..Ever watch a girl shop??? Three catagory's, Nice guy, Nicer guy..Great guy..Nice guy brings you flowers..! Nicer guy brings you flowers and takes you out..Great guy gets the job done and leaves you thinking you got a slice of heavan....lol..? And then she steals your credit card..? wrecks your car..And wonders why you haven't called her back..? LoL heck like your going to know..Just go for it..Geez ain't like you gotta make a lifetime commitment or something..!!! Just make your selection..And take your chances..They're all like lotto tickets..? (Men) Scratch em off and see what yo got..And hey if it's not a winner get another No big deal..! Til you find one you like no mystery here..?
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