Forget Seven Year Itch, Couples Now Splitting After Three
Some are calling it the 'Three Year Ditch.'
More couples are breaking up at or around the three-year mark, according to a new study done in Ireland. New research carried out by parenting website Netmums shows that 21 percent of couples split up between two and four years together. Worse, 12 percent split within a year.
1,500 parents were interviewed and nearly half of them (42 percent) said that having children had driven them apart. Four out of five of those interviewed said that their relationship suffered because they were so exhausted by the birth of a new baby or looking after a child. According to the study:
"Having children was shown to be the biggest flash point for sparking relationship problems."
But hey, let's not blame it all on the kids. The study pointed out a growing trend in "fast forward" partnerships. Basically, couples get together too quickly and decide to settle down without really knowing each other very well. They then make the biggest commitment: starting a family. And that's when the relationship gets stressful.
Netmums founder Siobhan Freegard explained:
"Relationships are tough at the best of times but having children puts an extra strain on them. Add in lack of time, exhaustion, work and money worries and maybe it's little surprise couples are splitting up earlier than ever before."
Also, one in 14 of those interviewed admitted to scratching their itch, a.k.a. having an affair.
"The research shows we are then giving up too quickly," Freegard says, adding that there are "simple" ways to save your marriage or relationship:
"Taking time to really listen to each other, can be the key to keeping love alive and remind you why you first fell in love."
I imagine that’s not easy to do when you've got a four-year-old hurling Cheerios across the room, but you get the idea.
Photo: Getty Images
Having a child does change a relationship... but I love mine with everything I have and wouldn't trade him for any amount of pre-child marital bliss. You adjust your marriage into a family. I have plenty of gripes about my husband... and he has plenty about me. Communication and commitment. They go a long way.
Married 10 years with a 5 year old
I have been married 16 wonderful years and still today I can say that I love my partner more today than I did 16 years ago. We have 3 children. People need to stop making excuses on why a marriage fails and get a true understanding what love is. Love is unconditional. If you love someone enough to marry them then you should love them enough to work through the difficult times.
They say 43% of all spouses cheat. That in itself destroys many marriages. People today do not have the ethical conduct or principles previous generations had. Why work hard at a relationship when you can go shopping for a new and better spouse, right? A solid relationship has to be two-sided and full of kindness and giving. If you do not care why should the other? Hence the spiral downward.
My 10 year anniversary is today and I have to say adding three children to my marriage has made my life and relationship with my wife that much better. Sure it's hard when a new baby wakes up in the middle of the night, but that's what you sign up for.
People who split up right after the birth of a child probably should have never gotten married in the first place.
love: friendship, dating, sex & marriage
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