The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

Here Comes the Groomzilla?

These days, more grooms are involved with the wedding planning.

By Kristin Wong Jun 28, 2012 3:13PM

Photo: Greg Ceo/Getty ImagesWe're all familiar with the stereotype that guys are less interested in planning the wedding than women; their assumed attitude is generally, "whatever you want, honey." After all, there are a million wedding shows dedicated to women—Bridezillas, Say Yes to the Dress, etc.—but I can't think of a single show that caters to the groom's needs.

But thanks to Chris Easter, co-founder of TheManRegistry.com, there is a website for men who want a bigger part in the wedding planning.

The site is filled with male-centric registry gifts—the personalized poker chip set, for example. There's also the chalkboard beer mug. And the RC remote control cooler. (Does it make me less of a woman for wanting that last one?)

But it's not just about the registry. The website also includes cool venues, vendors, and a helpful section called Groom 101. In Groom 101, there are various articles for grooms—How to Survive Pre-Wedding Cold Feet, Who is Invited to the Bachelor Party, and my personal favorite—Scheduling Your Fall Wedding Around Football.

FastCompany interviewed Easter, who admits that there's some truth to the stereotype of men caring less about the wedding.

"There’s some truth to it traditionally. But couples are getting married at older ages…and so couples are spending more of their own money and less of mom and dad’s money on weddings. If I’m spending my money, I’m going to be more involved…Our company proves that men do care intimately about planning their weddings and just needed an outlet."

Event planner Karen Pecora confirms with the Bridal Bulletin that, indeed, men have become more involved. She adds that meeting clients in the past usually meant meeting the bride and her parents.  But times have changed:

“Sometimes, we wouldn’t even meet the groom until the wedding day,” Pecora says.” Now, there’s never a groom we haven’t met.”

In some cases, the groom becomes so involved with the wedding that he mutates into the dreaded Groomzilla. Alabama wedding planner Martie Duncan tells Marie Claire:

"I've seen so many grooms have meltdowns. One guy dragged his fiancée dress shopping all over town. Nothing was good enough for him, and he wasn't interested in his bride's input."

According to Duncan, on the big day, the same groom actually called a nearby airport repeatedly to find out whether the planes flying overhead would disturb the wedding. "And he harassed the weather station to confirm sunny skies," Duncan adds.
Let's hope most dudes don't take things quite that far (although I would totally watch many, many episodes of Groomzillas).
"The Man Registry is about being a man by stepping up and being involved in the planning of your wedding," Easter adds

So what exactly does it mean to be a man?

"Being a man can mean a lot of things. Being a man is not about being out with your shirt off drinking beers. It’s about: This is the biggest day of your life, and if you’re not involved, that’s a problem."

Leave the shirtless beer guzzling for the reception.

Photo: Greg Ceo/Getty Images

More on love & sex from MSN Living:
The Most Amazing Wedding Venues in the World
12 Fourth of July Wedding Ideas
How to Determine If He's Marriage Material


Tags: weddings
Jul 2, 2012 1:59PM
I think it would be great, especially if it's a gay marriage!
Jul 2, 2012 6:06AM
If a wedding is so over the top that anyone goes zilla, maybe it's time to step back and assess, and not get so caught up in the bling of it all. I've talked to several women who felt that their wedding was anticlimactic, because they got so caught up in the show that they lost track of the fact that they were getting married.
Jul 2, 2012 5:58AM
As long as the couple work together and consider each other, it's all good. But if someone is too controlling with wedding planning, I think it is a sign of things to come in the marriage. 
Jul 2, 2012 5:16AM
My input consisted of picking out the wines and champagne.  Oh, and writing all of the checks to all of the different vendors, caterers, etc.  But I wouldn't have had it any other way.  Seriously.  My wife did a fantastic job and I knew I would just get in the way.
Jul 2, 2012 3:10AM

My wife and I have been married 45 years.  I had absolutely nothing to say about the wedding or reception.  I was not allowed to wear the clothes I wanted to, because her father might have objected to putting on a white dinner jacket.  I said "fine," because I was very much in love.  I did pick the honeymoon site.  But you can tell that it has bothered me that the wedding was all hers and I had no input whatsoever.  I still think it is unfair that many times the groom is totally ignored.  After all it is HIS wedding too!


As to "What Not To Wear,"  really . . . spend thousands of dollars on a dress that will be worn only once, and the groom rents a hundred dollar tux that gets returned the next day.  There's something wrong with this scenario.

Jul 2, 2012 12:19AM
When planning our wedding, I actually *WANTED* my husband to be more involved, especially with his side of the guest list since his family has a lot of ex- and step- family members. But, he just left everything up to me instead. (Here we are 10 years later, and not much has changed unfortunately.) In the end, we skipped the traditional wedding and got married in a small Las Vegas chapel by a man who was a reverend by day and a male dancer by night. It was cheaper and more interesting than if we would have gone the traditional route. And, the money we saved by not having a wedding was used on a down payment on our first house. (Better use of funds, imho.) My only regret was that we didn't have a reception when we got back. I won't lie - I totally wanted people to buy me stuff. And, that RC cooler sounds pretty sweet...
Jul 1, 2012 10:49PM
Kay,that is the way it should be good for u two.
Jul 1, 2012 10:22PM
My husband and I were married 33 years ago.  He helped find the place for our wedding as well as choosing a cake, rings and his suit.  I choose my dress and flowers and we both were involved in the guest list.  There was no "zilla" just fun.
Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage

  • Sign placement/"10 Most Outrageous Wedding Photos"/Photo: Brooke Aliceon Photography

    10 outrageous wedding photos

    The typical wedding: A white dress, tiered cake, floral centerpieces and a cute flower girl -- you know the drill. Every once in a while, though, a couple trades in tradition for a quirky, never-seen-that-before idea. Here are a few of the most out-there wedding photos that made us do a double take.

  • Hot wedding trends for fall

    9 hot wedding trends for fall

    There's a lot to love about weddings this fall, like cocktails served in copper Moscow mule mugs, industrial-inspired lighting and pheasant feather details. See what's new!

  • Monique Pean Mineraux diamond and rose gold ring, $3,400; barneys.com

    Why single ladies are rocking a wedding ring

    Do you have to be engaged to sport a ring with bling?

  • ​KIVILCIM PINAR, Getty Images //  ​KIVILCIM PINAR, Getty Images (​KIVILCIM PINAR, Getty Images)

    Majority of Americans are single

    124.6 million haven't gotten hitched.

  • least expensive places to get married

    These are the 25 least expensive places to get married in America

    Even though the national average wedding is $29,858, that’s just an average. If you live in a smaller state like Idaho where the average wedding costs $16,159, you may find yourself saving a little more than half of the national spend! Check out some of the other least expensive cities to get married in below:

  • M Swiet Productions, Getty Images // M Swiet Productions, Getty Images (M Swiet Productions, Getty Images)

    Americans have nostalgia for summer romance

    Summer is winding down, but the ubiquitous summer romance lives on.

  • 8 signs it's time to break up

    8 signs it’s definitely time to break up

    For those times when nothing big and horrible happened--but nothing is feeling right either.

  • Actor/"Why we love an older man"/Photo: Shutterstock

    Reasons why we love an older man

    He’s confident, distinguished and anywhere from 4 to 20 years older than you. Age is just a number, but there’s something about older men that we love. Here are eight reasons why being in a relationship with an older man is tops.

  • Actor/"Why we love a younger man"/Photo: Shutterstock

    Reasons why we love a younger man

    While a younger man may have less life experience, that doesn’t mean he’s not emotionally mature. Here are the eight reasons why being in a relationship with a younger man is tops.

  • Other woman (Courtesy YourTango)

    5 reasons the other woman slept with your man

    Have you ever wondered what the 'other woman' was thinking?

  • Apple picking

    6 fun fall date ideas

    So fall is coming and you need some romantic inspiration now that long walks on the beach are out of the question. Well look no further! From apple picking to pumpkin carving, these are some great fall date ideas from girls just like you!

  • Go to a theme park

    8 cute celeb date ideas

    Getting bored of the same dinner and movie date night? Take an adorable cue from your favorite celebs and try something new! From dancing to boxing you can't go wrong with these awesome date ideas.

buzzing now on msn living
The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner
relationship videos
editor's picks
the heart beat