Loading...
The Heart Beat The Heart Beat blog

28 reasons Thanksgiving is the least sexy holiday

Thanksgiving has many wonderful things about it — most of them edible — but it does not include a boost to your sex life.

By Glamour Magazine Nov 19, 2012 11:06PM

By Gena Kaufman
While I love, love, love Thanksgiving and the week of delicious leftovers after it, it has to be said: Thanksgiving is not sexy. In fact, it might be the least sexy holiday ever.

It's got none of the romance of Valentine's Day, it lacks the sex appeal of Halloween costumes, and it's much too cold for outdoor barbecues or pool parties.

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty ImagesMore from Glamour: 10 turn-ons that aren't about looks

Here are just a few things that may contribute to a very unsexy celebration of thanks, whether you're spending it alone or with your guy:

1.       Overcrowded airline travel.

2.       Screaming babies on overcrowded airline travel.

3.       Screaming babies at your grandma’s house.

4.       The hangover you’re nursing after Thanksgiving Eve, the all-important night of judging your old high school friends at the local bar.

5.       Being stuck in traffic.

6.       The huge fight you get in while stuck in traffic.

7.       Your mother.

8.       His mother.

9.       Your drunken aunt who can’t stop asking when you two are getting married already.

10.   His drunken uncle with a wandering eye and penchant for dirty jokes.

11.   Voluntarily sticking your hand into a turkey’s cavity.

12.   Accidentally sticking your hand on a hot pan.

13.   Or jamming a knife in your finger while slicing sweet potatoes.

14.   Political, religious or assorted family drama at the dinner table.

15.   Your sister's three loud kids who spill everything, everywhere. Loudly.

16.   Turkey coma.

17.   Tofurkey coma, if you’re vegetarian.

18.   Pumpkin pie moustache (OK, that's not a real thing but it could be).

19.   The way you both unbutton your jeans to make room for seconds.

20.   Painful indigestion for the rest of the night.

21.   Washing 4,000 dirty dishes and grimy pots.

22.   The hideous sweater he wore because his mom bought it for him.

23.   The matching footie pajamas your mom bought for the whole family to sleep in.

24.   Separate rooms when you’re under your parents' roof.

25.   The fear of overhearing your parents having sex.

26.   The possibility of running into your high school boyfriend while sporting sweats, gravy stains and a greasy ponytail on Black Friday.

27.   The possibility that your mom will find out that you made out with said high school boyfriend on Thanksgiving Eve.

28.   Leftover turkey coma, Day Two.

See? It's just not a holiday that's conducive to sex or romance. And do not suggest spicing it up with some sort of tacky Pilgrim and Native American reenactment.

More from Glamour: 30 sex tips every woman should consider 

But, sexy or not, I'm more than thankful for an excuse to spend time with my loved ones. And by loved ones, I mean my friends, my family and my mashed potatoes.

What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? What other unsexy aspects of this delicious holiday did I forget?

Photo: Noel Hendrickson/Getty Images

Bing: Thanksgiving Day outfit ideas

More from Glamour:
6 signs he's ready for a baby
25 first-date dos and don'ts
9 sex secrets men want you to know

17Comments
Nov 23, 2012 2:53AM
avatar
i dont no i kinda like dressing the turkey
Nov 23, 2012 2:31AM
avatar

My wife just brought me a slice of pumpkin pie and wearing nothing but

a smile and a few dollops of whipped cream.    This is the sexiest

day of my life!!!!

Nov 23, 2012 2:07AM
avatar
It's the least sexy holiday because of all the coats on the bed.
Nov 22, 2012 11:24PM
avatar

Who cares if thanksgiving is sexy.....what a stupid article on a wonderful american tradition.  I am thankful for THANKSGIVING and this wonderful country, faith, family and friends!

Nov 22, 2012 7:00PM
avatar
This is one of the stupidest posts EVER!!! Get off the sexy crap about everything, just for a while, eh? I mean, why must everything have a sexy quotient in the first place? Life is not about sexy; it's about living and trying to enjoy each day, holiday or not.
Nov 22, 2012 5:37PM
avatar
And as far as the sex thing goes, another article advertised on this page has it backwards.  The headline reads, "Love:  Friendship, Dating, Sex, and Marriage."  We need a little more "Friendship, Dating, Marriage, THEN (and only then!) Sex."
Nov 22, 2012 5:34PM
avatar
So why, pray tell, is everything these days measured in terms of sex?  There's more to life than that, you know.  Enough, already!
Nov 22, 2012 4:38PM
avatar
Your uncle snoring in the corner, only waking up occasionally to yell at the TV.
Report
Please help us to maintain a healthy and vibrant community by reporting any illegal or inappropriate behavior. If you believe a message violates theCode of Conductplease use this form to notify the moderators. They will investigate your report and take appropriate action. If necessary, they report all illegal activity to the proper authorities.
Categories
100 character limit
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?

love: friendships, dating, sex & marriage

  • Sign placement/"10 Most Outrageous Wedding Photos"/Photo: Brooke Aliceon Photography

    10 outrageous wedding photos

    The typical wedding: A white dress, tiered cake, floral centerpieces and a cute flower girl -- you know the drill. Every once in a while, though, a couple trades in tradition for a quirky, never-seen-that-before idea. Here are a few of the most out-there wedding photos that made us do a double take.

  • Hot wedding trends for fall

    9 hot wedding trends for fall

    There's a lot to love about weddings this fall, like cocktails served in copper Moscow mule mugs, industrial-inspired lighting and pheasant feather details. See what's new!

  • Monique Pean Mineraux diamond and rose gold ring, $3,400; barneys.com

    Why single ladies are rocking a wedding ring

    Do you have to be engaged to sport a ring with bling?

  • ​KIVILCIM PINAR, Getty Images //  ​KIVILCIM PINAR, Getty Images (​KIVILCIM PINAR, Getty Images)

    Majority of Americans are single

    124.6 million haven't gotten hitched.

  • least expensive places to get married

    These are the 25 least expensive places to get married in America

    Even though the national average wedding is $29,858, that’s just an average. If you live in a smaller state like Idaho where the average wedding costs $16,159, you may find yourself saving a little more than half of the national spend! Check out some of the other least expensive cities to get married in below:

  • M Swiet Productions, Getty Images // M Swiet Productions, Getty Images (M Swiet Productions, Getty Images)

    Americans have nostalgia for summer romance

    Summer is winding down, but the ubiquitous summer romance lives on.

  • 8 signs it's time to break up

    8 signs it’s definitely time to break up

    For those times when nothing big and horrible happened--but nothing is feeling right either.

  • Actor/"Why we love an older man"/Photo: Shutterstock

    Reasons why we love an older man

    He’s confident, distinguished and anywhere from 4 to 20 years older than you. Age is just a number, but there’s something about older men that we love. Here are eight reasons why being in a relationship with an older man is tops.

  • Actor/"Why we love a younger man"/Photo: Shutterstock

    Reasons why we love a younger man

    While a younger man may have less life experience, that doesn’t mean he’s not emotionally mature. Here are the eight reasons why being in a relationship with a younger man is tops.

  • Other woman (Courtesy YourTango)

    5 reasons the other woman slept with your man

    Have you ever wondered what the 'other woman' was thinking?

  • Apple picking

    6 fun fall date ideas

    So fall is coming and you need some romantic inspiration now that long walks on the beach are out of the question. Well look no further! From apple picking to pumpkin carving, these are some great fall date ideas from girls just like you!

  • Go to a theme park

    8 cute celeb date ideas

    Getting bored of the same dinner and movie date night? Take an adorable cue from your favorite celebs and try something new! From dancing to boxing you can't go wrong with these awesome date ideas.

buzzing now on msn living
Loading...
The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner The Heart Beat is a Great Dating Blogs Winner
relationship videos
editor's picks
Loading...
the heart beat
Loading...