What men really want: 10 things you think impress him, but don't
Admit it, you want to be wanted and liked by your suitor. We all do! No man or woman wants to be told they're not the best choice or the most favorable candidate for love. The trouble is that our desire to be liked often drives us to be someone other than ourselves.
Some of us never show up for dates (especially the first ones), because we've sent our representatives instead -- a make believe character that you think the person sitting across the table will find more interesting than you. It seems like a brilliant idea at the time, but your "rep" could cost you the date. When you're not being authentic it will ultimately come back to bite you, of this I'm sure. Don't do things to impress him, do you -- that's what he'll find most impressive. But, these 10 other "things" most women think will, just won't. Ladies, listen and learn.
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Ms. "Oh, you fancy, huh?"
Prada, Fendi, Gucci, blah blah blah. In the majority of cases he has no idea what kind of bag you're toting around, and to be honest, he couldn't care less. He just isn't that interested in what kind of heels you're wearing -- if he likes you in heels at all. It isn't about the name on the label but the presentation that attracts him. How you style yourself says a lot about who you are, and if you look like a walking billboard for a luxury brand, that tells him you value status over substance.
Ms. I don't eat
Don't leave the date hungry because you ordered a salad to avoid being a little messy with your meal. He's going to order what he wants and you should too. I know you've heard this one before, but when I'm out, I still see women at nearby tables munching on Appetizers while their date devours a steak. Order that cheeseburger, ladies -- you know you have a taste for it. If you get a little sauce on your chin, just wipe it off. Or better yet, let him. Just try not to talk while chewing: no one's ever impressed with that.
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Ms. Fair-weather sports fan
If you really aren't that interested in his favorite football or basketball team, that's fine, he'll live. But if he takes sports seriously, and you're mixing up players' names, cheering for the wrong team's plays and constantly asking "you should know that" type questions during the game, you'll be annoying, not endearing. He'd rather you just keep it real from day one: "Hey buddy, I could care less what 'King James' is up to on the court." Case closed.
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Ms. Higher education
It won't be your many degrees that make him fall for you -- it'll be your brain and your charm. Now, don't get me wrong. He'll love that you're a highly educated Black woman -- that's impressive and attractive, and you shouldn't be afraid to say it -- but if your degrees are all you can and want to talk about, that won't get you far. Avoid making that the epicenter of all your dinner conversations. A man will be more interested in you demonstrating practical application of the education you have obtained than nonstop bragging about what you studied and where. Flaunting your MBA will only tempt him to go M.I.A., I assure you. He'll view it as you celebrating yourself at the expense of emasculating him -- this equals arrogance in his book.
He only thing worse than a bad joke is the person who shamelessly pretends to laugh out loud at it. Giggles are sweet. Pretending he amuses you when he doesn't will only make him feel lame. Men aren't perfect; we know when our moves aren't so smooth. Allow your interaction with him to be a true testament of your feelings about that particular moment. This is best for both parties.
Ms. Know it all
There is something sexy about a focused, ambitious and career minded woman. (He loves that about you, I promise!) But when you mix business with pleasure too early on in the relationship, that's a problem. You define the job; don't let it define you. After all, it's you he's after not a new career. If he wanted to spend three hours sorting through your co-workers' office drama and your boss's "many issues," he would stop by your job and put in an application. Change the subject!
Ms. Body conscious
These days long hair, big butts and flat stomachs come a dime a dozen. Show him you've got more to offer than a great figure. Men who are seeking substance won't be fazed by all those goodies on display. There's nothing wrong with a woman accentuating her curves, but remember there's a thin line between tempting and tacky. He doesn't want to show up for a date and find out he's meeting Nicki Minaj.
Yes, we do want to hear your life story. No, we don't want to hear it all in one night. From a man's perspective, being forward is always appreciated, but telling us everything about you upfront can dampen his attraction. Cultivate a little mystery and keep his imagination active.
Ms. Beauty queen
Ever wonder why men seem to approach you when you "think" you're looking your worst? (Think: Sweats and a ponytail.) Sometimes we are more attracted to you when you are in your most natural state. Beauty is beauty and it cannot be hidden. We appreciate the small things and you don't need to wear a full face of makeup to earn our gaze. Tone it down and turn him on. Save the sexy, sassy glam for a big night out. We'll appreciate it more.