What Counts As Cheating Now?
3. Is it cheating if you just sleep in the same bed?
"When I was a senior in college, I had a boyfriend of three years, but sometimes my friend Nate would come over and spend the night ... in my bed. We never hooked up or even really touched; we just talked and fell asleep next to each other. One parents' weekend, my dad caught us in bed together and asked me if I was going to tell my boyfriend about it. I said no, because I didn't think it was cheating."
Jessica, 26, Boston
Is this cheating?
What if they'd cuddled?
"I'd say this is cheating only if she was being secretive about it. My general rule is that if it's something you would absolutely not be comfortable with your significant other knowing, you've crossed some sort of line."
Mary Williford, 20, Raleigh, N.C.
4. Is a girl kissing another straight girl cheating?
"I'd been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half when I flew to L.A. to go to a girlfriend's bachelorette party. We got dressed up, rented a limo and went out to a bunch of bars. Along the way, we picked up a few guys, who later bought us tons of drinks. As we got more and more drunk, the girls got flirtier with each other, and the guys were egging us on. Before I knew it, I was lip-locked with a girl in the back of the limo for a while! At the time I didn't think it was a big deal, but when I saw my boyfriend back in Chicago, I felt really bad. Even though he'd often joked that he found it hot when women made out with each other, I decided not to tell him about the wild night I'd had."
Jennifer, 32, Chicago
Is this cheating?
What if she'd done it more than once?
"I think the media puts so much focus on how hot it is for girls to kiss and how much it turns guys on to watch two girls together that women are now much more curious than they used to be. Add alcohol, peer pressure and the freedom of being in a different town, and mistakes happen. That said, I think she was probably right to keep it to herself. Coming clean would have been more for her benefit than his."
Jennifer Cadiente, 36, Oregon City, Ore.
love: friendship, dating, sex & marriage
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