The 36 worst pieces of relationship advice ever
Kim Cattrall, actress
“Practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion.”
With her cynical view of romantic relationships, actress Kim Cattrall sounds as though she’s channeling Samantha Jones, her popular but somewhat jaded character from “Sex and the City.”
Kelly Osbourne, singer, actress and daughter of rocker Ozzie Osbourne
“I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word 'YOU' and I just put the letter 'U'.”
Jack Nicholson, actor
“There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.”
Video: Friends of the opposite sex
It’s hard to say which of these two strategies is likely to cause the most trouble.
Daphne Zuniga, actress
“I started dating older men, and I would fall in love with them. I thought they could teach me about life.”
Well, that’s one way to get an education, but maybe not the best way.
Woody Allen, film director, comedian and actor
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
Words to live by? Maybe. But first you’ll have to figure out what this famous filmmaker and funnyman is talking about.
Lena Dunham, writer and actress
“I'm not great at dating, but I need to do it to relax.”
Lena, wouldn’t a hot bath and a cup of chamomile tea be a lot less complicated.
Cher, singer and actress
"Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable."
And what should women be like?
Patti Stanger, matchmaker for millionaires
“I had to find a diet that would kick me back into dating shape, because I know that I can't date at size 8. I have to date at size 2. And it's just a fact of nature. Go get your injections and your chemical peels. You gotta look good to attract a man.”
It’s hard to believe this woman makes her living by giving relationship advice.
Katharine Hepburn, actress
“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”
Married at age 21 and divorced a few years later, Katherine Hepburn chose a 26-year relationship with actor Spenser Tracy—who was married to someone else. Life is full of tradeoffs.
John Updike, author
"Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant."
This arrangement only works until the peasants revolt.