How to fall in love all over again
Believe it’s possible to fall in love again
The first step toward falling in love again is to believe that it’s possible. Give yourself what Buddhists call “beginner’s mind,” which is an openness and eagerness to change your current way of thinking. If you and your partner believe that you can rediscover what you first loved about each other, then you can.
-- By Sharon O'Brien
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Make time to laugh together
Laughter has been described as good medicine because it helps us feel better, and because it makes so many life events easier to handle.
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If you can find humor in everyday situations, and you make a point of sharing funny moments together, the good feelings and shared joy that result will help your relationship thrive.
Who doesn’t enjoy knowing they are truly loved? One of the surest ways to demonstrate love for your partner is with affection: quick kisses, gentle back rubs and holding hands. These loving gestures probably came naturally when you first met, and they still feel really good. Bring ‘em back and see what happens.
Spend time without the kids
As much as you love your children, you and your partner were together and in love before the kids arrived, and hopefully you’ll be together and just as much in love when the kids are off on their own. It makes sense in the meantime to plan some alone time just for the two of you—to remember the person you fell in love with and to discover who that special person is now.
Thoughtfulness and generosity often come naturally to new couples, because they’re delighted to be together and they want those feelings to show. That’s why it’s sad when couples stop paying attention to each other, and the kind and generous gestures they once enjoyed are reserved for other friends and family. Practice your own version of the Golden Rule and freely share what you have: thoughts, compliments, the newspaper or the last slice of cake.
Find each other sexy
Sure, we all want to be appreciated for our intelligence, wit and sparkling personalities. But wouldn’t it also feel great to be thought of as wildly attractive? While it’s true that women are judged more than men by their appearance, we all have the perfected images of models and actors to emulate. Knowing that someone thinks we’re hot can be very appealing, so let each other know that your sexual sparks are still alive.
Learn about each other
Relationship experts know that the quality of friendship a couple shares—how well they know each other, and how interested they are—is often an indicator of the strength of the relationship. People change over the years, so don’t assume you know your partner well just because you live together. Demonstrate your interest by talking with each other about your friends, work, favorite books or childhood memories, and rekindle those sparks you felt when you first met.
Be willing to forgive
If there’s one experience common to all relationships, it’s this: at some point your partner will hurt your feelings or disappoint you, and you’ll do the same. When that happens, don’t automatically close the door to the relationship (and your heart) if your partner seems genuinely sorry and is willing to work through problems with you. As the celebrated writer Maya Angelou wisely advises, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
Plan romantic date nights
With the pressure of jobs, kids and household duties, couples sometimes put romance on the back burner. Don’t let that happen to you. No matter how busy you both are, make time occasionally for romantic evenings, whether you make reservations at a 4-star restaurant or plan a picnic in the park. A romantic interlude could be just the thing to jumpstart your love.
Say I love you, often
You’ve been together for a while, and you know you love each other, but that’s no reason to put your relationship on autopilot, assuming that it will stay on a steady course forever. All relationships need nurturing, and all partners can benefit from being reminded that they are loved. So express your love as often as you can.