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8 Ways to Spot His Lie

One significant lie in a relationship can destroy it forever. But how good is your B.S. detector? The good news is with training everyone can increase their ability to spot lies. The following are the eight most effective ways to boost your skills and determine if someone is spitting authentic or fabricated game to you.
Essence // Essence

Could Your Man Be A Liar?

A couple kissing Next Slide

One significant lie in a relationship can destroy it forever. But how good is your B.S. detector? The good news is with training everyone can increase their ability to spot lies. The following are the eight most effective ways to boost your skills and determine if someone is spitting authentic or fabricated game to you.

©Essence
1 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

When the stakes are high, people will lie.

Previous Slide A happy couple Next Slide

Context is everything. Keep in mind that whenever someone stands a lot to lose (like you) or a lot to gain (like you) they are more likely to lie.

2 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

Ask, “How Do You Feel?”

Previous Slide A couple cuddling Next Slide

If you're in a situation where you believe the person you're speaking with "did it," directly ask them "how do you feel about doing it." The wrongly accused person will express anger and tell you so. The guilty person will typically express a range of emotions.

3 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

Watch for asymmetry.

Previous Slide A couple cuddling Next Slide

When we naturally smile, frown, or shrug, it's typically even and occurs on both sides of the body. Any gesture that is one-sided may be masking what the person is really feeling.

4 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

It's all about the eyes!

Previous Slide A happy couple Next Slide

Only one in ten people can move the muscles around their eyes to fake a smile. If they're smiling at you but you see no movement (or what's called "crow feet") around the eyes, there is a high likelihood the person you're talking to is masking their real feelings behind a fabricated smile.

5 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

Look for someone thinking hard.

Previous Slide A couple looking off into the sunset Next Slide

We think a liar is going to look anxious or nervous, but not so. Liars must think harder than normal because they're working to cover up the lie so they will instead do things that make them appear to be needlessly thinking hard and conserving energy like not using many gestures, using a slow or impersonal tone or being aloof. Think politician or used car salesman.

6 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

Don't ask "why?"

Previous Slide A girlfriend who has a surprise Next Slide

The quickest way to put someone on the defensive is to ask them "why?" Instead, in a heated conversation, ask "what made you do that?" Positioning the question this way will tremendously change how people respond to you (and therefore what you learn from them).

7 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

Stay away from the phone.

Previous Slide A couple looking serious Next Slide

From research in the Journal of American Society for Information and Technology, most lies come over the phone or text. This makes perfect sense because it's much harder to lie in person. So when you detect deception, always have a face-to-face conversation.

8 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images

Pay attention to what happens after you talk.

Previous Slide A couple hugging Next Slide

The liar will typically act relieved after having a conversation in which they where deceptive.

9 of 11 Photo: Corbis Images
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10 of 11 Essence
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SomeLameNameHere
Sep 11, 2012 9:23AM
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How about one on how to tell when she's lying?
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LT VET
Sep 11, 2012 9:01PM
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This BS, y is it aways about men???? Women are or more so liar's than Men, There's  not a good one out there, The one's have have met would lie and not blink an eye, And i have been 100% truthfull. signed a MAN!!!

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True2life
Sep 11, 2012 2:56PM
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Article has no basis in fact. Psychologists have disproven these myths and others repeatedly over the last decade. sad that people would continue to post such drivel, sadder to think that there are probably thousands of women who have fallen for this, and will soon be single because they choose to believe this.

 

 

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Janesman196
Sep 11, 2012 8:21PM
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Of course we lie...have any of you woman out there ever listened to yourself rant and rave.
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Alf Thompson
Sep 15, 2012 10:35PM
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Thank's for planting the seeds of paranoia into what would otherwise be healthy relationships. 
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Sting_Chameleon
Sep 15, 2012 10:18PM
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I heard there was cake here and MSN told me that. Whats going on?
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