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8 myths about men

Do you think you know everything there is to know about the opposite sex? Well, ESSENCE's own Modern Day Matchmaker sets the record straight on popular myths about men. Listen up, ladies!
Essence // Essence

Are you sure about that?

A frustrated couple in bed Next Slide

I had the honor of being asked on Katie Couric's new daytime talk show to discuss man myths. In order to prepare, I surveyed my twitter following and asked ladies, in particular, what they believed to be the biggest male truths. The following are their top responses as well as the reasoning why each is actually a myth.

Video: How to maintain passion in a long-term relationship

©Essence
1 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Men think about sex all day

Previous Slide A man thinking about sex Next Slide

False. The statistic I frequently hear is that sexual thoughts cross a man's mind every seven seconds. This couldn't be further from the truth. According to the Kinsey Institute, 54 percent of men think about sex every day, but 43 percent only consider it a few times a month or a few times a week, while four percent make it the whole month before pondering the subject.

Video: Food, sleep or sex?

2 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Men aren't as talkative as women

Previous Slide A happy couple embracing Next Slide

False. When researchers have tried to compare the number of words used by both men and women in the same situation, the differences were negligible. If anything, studies show men talk a little bit more.

Video: Social media pre-nups

3 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Men don't like to commit

Previous Slide A man hugging his girlfriend from behind Next Slide

False. This one I blame on the 80/20 rule. I've seen firsthand from my clients that men commit at the same rate as women. The issue comes in with a small percentage of men (I call these the 20 percenters) who habitually enter and leave relationships aka "The Commitment Phobes."

4 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Men don't like to be asked out

Previous Slide A couple sharing a tender moment Next Slide

False. I write about this extensively in my new book, It's Complicated - But It Doesn't Have To Be. Everyone appreciates being admired and having someone show enough interest to ask you out is the ultimate showing of flattery. What people don't want is to be asked out by people they don't like (or don't find attractive).

5 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Men don't have feelings

Previous Slide A happy couple in bed Next Slide

False. There is definitely a different socialization that happens in adolescence among boys and girls as it relates to being "touchy/feely" but essentially, feelings come from an area in the brain both women and men have. The amygdala is a part of the brain both men and women have that controls our emotional responses.

6 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Men are intimidated by strong women

Previous Slide A woman sitting in a man's lap at the beach Next Slide

False. The word intimidated is the most misused word in dating. Yes, some men (just as some women) are intimidated in select scenarios (like getting set up on a blind date with Grace Jones) but most of the time, like 99% of the time, men are not intimidated (but attracted) to strong women.

7 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Foot or hand size correlates with penis size

Previous Slide A couple snuggling in bed Next Slide

False. Researchers at University College London say there is no evidence linking a man's shoe or hand size to the length of his penis. After measuring the vital parts of hundreds of men, they concluded that the theory has no scientific basis. The ability to predict the size of a man's penis by observing his shoe size is a common misconception says Dr. Jyoyi Shah

8 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images

Men don't gossip

Previous Slide A couple relaxing Next Slide

False. The Social Issues Research Centre, a nonprofit think tank, has conducted numerous studies on gossip (and how it affects our lives) have found that 33 percent of men indulge in gossip daily or almost every day -- compared with 26 percent of women. Yes, men gossip more than women!

9 of 11 Photo Credit: Getty Images
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T ROBERTS
Dec 5, 2012 6:41AM
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Bull, every man I know thinks of sex at least almost all the time. 
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Tom H.
Dec 9, 2012 4:19PM
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From essance a black only magazine.
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mrbeefy
Dec 6, 2012 10:01PM
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What  the hell ? don't white guys rate how come no pictures of white women and guys? Second if I see a hot looking gal first thing i think about is sex and how I'm gonna go about bangin her
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B M (Honest William 12)
Dec 5, 2012 12:10AM
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Straight men do not gossip more than women.

What kind of lame study is this?

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ravendark
Dec 4, 2012 3:55PM
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It's ok if a woman ask a guy out, ONLY if a relation (several dates) have been established. 

Now if a woman ask a guy out INITIALLY, the guy will not think much of her, he will take advantage of her, will not respect her, and he will think she is easily expendable.  This is because it's ingrained or inherent in the male's gene to hunt and gather food, much like a woman possesses an inherent ability to nurture a child.  In the wild, if you give a cheetah a food it will not eat it because it is program per se to chase, trip, and bite its prey.

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