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50 things everyone should know about getting married

Whether you’re still dating, newly engaged, or already hitched, every woman must know these 50 things about getting married. They’ll make sure you’re traveling the road to wedded bliss—with way fewer bumps along the way.
Glamour // Glamour

What you should know about marriage while you’re dating

What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

If you and your partner don't communicate well, get to work.

Communication doesn't get easier over time, and as life gets more serious -- think work, money, kids -- getting hitched to a partner you can't talk to is a marriage DON'T. Before you get engaged, make sure you and your guy can talk about anything -- and make sure you do.

©Glamour
1 of 51 Photo: Jamie Grill/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

Your proposal -- and wedding -- may not be magical.

Your proposal and wedding day will undoubtedly be special and memorable. But there's a caveat: You've spent so much time building up each moment in your head that when those moments come, they may be as awkward and un-perfect as any first-time experience, says Meredith Bodgas, weddings blogger at Merital Bliss. Relax -- the "flaws" in your stories will end up being your favorite parts to recount.

2 of 51 Photo: Eri Morita/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

You might not like your engagement ring.

Some couples decide to pick out the bride's ring together, but others are intent on a surprise. If you want the jaw-drop shock moment, you run the risk of not being crazy about your ring. If you don't want to chance getting a ring you don't love, consider discussing a proposal with a family ring or solid band instead -- or try dropping hints or discussing the details.

3 of 51 Photo: George Doyle/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

If you don't like your engagement ring, it's OK to change it!

Your new fiancé won't feel like less of a man if you don't love your engagement ring and want to switch it -- just be kind in how you let him know. Saying something like "After wearing it for a bit, I think white gold fits in more with the rest of my jewelry" instead of "I hate yellow gold!" will get the same job done, says Kim Fusaro, weddings blogger for Glamour's Save the Date blog.

4 of 51 Photo: mediaphotos/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

Some things will change when you get engaged.

The minute you flip your Facebook status to "engaged," you'll find that people will respect your relationship more (it's a great feeling!). Bodgas says you'll start to look at money differently and adjust your spending habits knowing a wedding is impending, you'll feel closer to your fiancé, and you won't consider it silly looking at wedding magazines.

5 of 51 Photo: Daly & Newton/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

Other things won't change at all once you're engaged.

Your disagreements won't magically poof away (though you'll never again argue about getting engaged!), and your day-to-day life won't change much either, Bodgas says.

6 of 51 Photo: Zero Creatives/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

Everyone will want to see you the second you get engaged.

You can tweet pictures of your ring or send out as many emails as you want, but people are going to want real, live face-time. To avoid calendar (and stress) overload, try scheduling a mass get-together so all your local friends and family can celebrate at once.

7 of 51 Photo: Tom Merton/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

You may have to go out of your way to maintain a life separate from your guy.

Dependence is tempting -- and often easy. When you get married, you're likely looking for a comfortable life with your groom, but your independent life and friendships may suffer as a result. Keeping up with them is going to take extra work, so strengthen your most important personal relationships now.

8 of 51 Photo: Troels Graugaard/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

Your friends' and siblings' marriages will be different from your own.

Your married friends have been your model for matrimony -- for better or worse. Regardless of how much you and your best friend act like twins (or even if you have a twin), your relationship will be entirely different from theirs. Watch others' interactions and note their advice, but remember you're your own couple.

9 of 51 Photo: Digital Vision/Getty Images
Previous Slide What You Should Know About Marriage While You’re Dating Next Slide

You may forget how to be spontaneous.

"Having a routine for everything leaves no room for spontaneity," says Melissa Melms, relationship blogger for Glamour's Smitten. "But just because you have some necessary routines doesn't mean you can't be spontaneous." Once you're engaged, falling into a rut may become even more likely, especially if you're not yet living together. While you're still dating, get into the practice of being spontaneous to make sure the romance stays alive.

10 of 51 Photo: Laurence Monneret/Getty Images
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NotJustMe
Nov 23, 2012 9:53PM
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"Dropping hints" is a stupid suggestion. It's a passive aggressive technique that fosters false expectations.
How about this, instead: honesty.

My wife and I don't "drop hints." We TELL each other what pleases (or displeases) us.

And we don't engage in the asinine "traditional" gift-giving ****. "Sweetest Day," "Valentine's Day," "Mother's Day," -- even birthdays/holidays.

Once you see these stupid, made-up "celebrations" for what they are, you'll alleviate a TON of self- or societal-imposed stress.

E.g., my wife NEVER "expects" a gift, or flowers, or dinner, etc. Nor do I. just because some set of marketing and government ****s made Month/Day "Official Day To Show Gratitude For X" day. Think about it: If you're the LEAST let down by a gift (or NOT receiving a gift) for Sweetest Day, what does that mean? Does that cause you to DOUBT his/her love, devotion, commitment? That's just being STUPID.

Release one another from the stress of having to come up with some **** bauble that REALLY proves to you how much s/he cares.

If you HAVE to HAVE some kind of shallow, materialistic trinket or act that (supposedly) represents sincerity and which you can parade around to and compare with your other shallow friends, you're doomed for disappointment.

Relationships, esp. marriages, are tough enough without all of the extra **** we bring into it. My wife and I do nice things for one another CONSISTENTLY -- and don't need Hallmark or a national holiday to prod us to make the other person feel special.



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T Bake
Nov 23, 2012 8:22PM
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After reading the 1st dozen comments; I realized what a dumb-waste of time article this is.
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GeorgianThinker007
Nov 23, 2012 8:29PM
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I have been married for 13 years, and I am happy.

The reason many couples are not happy because of selfishness & greediness.

Therefore, before you marry to your boyfriend/girlfriend​ make sure you are going to work for him/her.

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a new nickname below
Nov 23, 2012 11:37PM
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They forgot to mention that divorce lawyers are very expensive.
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FALCON63
Nov 23, 2012 10:35PM
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Rule #1 and # 2 below are right on the money !

Rule # 3 - - - to be happy, have freedom and NOT BE IN DEBT the rest of your life Stay Single !

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Drill Sergeant
Nov 24, 2012 1:02AM
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About babies: Engaged couples should definitely talk about the possibility of infertility.  Will you adopt?  Do IV therapy?  Hire surrogates?  Not have kids at all?  Serious stuff to talk about.
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Dottie123
Nov 23, 2012 10:33PM
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My mother hijacked my wedding and made it everything she wanted it to be. Since my parents were paying for it, they took complete control. I wish you better luck.

 

 

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nosympathy13
Nov 24, 2012 3:21AM
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What you should know about marriage:  Don't. 
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Tri State West Tri State West
Nov 23, 2012 11:21PM
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only thing you need to know about getting married is within 5 years she will leave you, keep the house and kids, the car the dog and move another guy in and you'll pay her for the next 20 years or so lol.  don't get married just live in sin its way cheaper!
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Craig Furrow
Nov 24, 2012 3:58AM
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Living in a fairy tale..... After your engaged everyone will want to see you.... how stupid are you. People will take your relationship more serious.... screw em if they have a problem. Of course all these women in the pics are gorgeous so i guess if i had one of them i might do all kinds of over the top retarded out of date things for them.
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K Dub19
Nov 24, 2012 7:36AM
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"So, you're not taking his last name? Why's that? Don't you respect tradition? Did you not consider what it'll be like for the baby to have a last name that's different from his mother's? Are you not fully committed to the marriage? Won't the mailman be confused?! Yep, things like that."

Um, I kept my last name and have never been asked any of these questions. But, no I don't respect a tradition that originally deemed a wife as her husband's property.

Actually I have had a lot of MEN say how cool it is that I kept my last name. So there's alot of positive feedback more then negative.
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stishere
Nov 24, 2012 2:35AM
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What a stupid and annoying article! I am supposed to worry about 50 things! SO STUPID.
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Sobotic Research (Sobotic_Research)
Nov 24, 2012 3:46AM
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NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER GET MARRIED. Common law or otherwise. It is the same thing in the eyes of the court. Only divorced fathers know how I have suffered. You have lived through it with me. You have seen the pitiful skeleton of a man it reduces you too. It has totally left me without anything to look forward to in my older years. It has left me without any hope whatsoever of ever being able to retire. As someone that has been there my most heartfelt advice is NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER get married.

80% of marriages are initiated by women. They need no reason, no logic, no excuse. We have a no fault (i.e. no responsibility) divorce system. All she has to say is "I want a divorce' and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about it. At that point the family courts kick in and you will be scr**ed - count on it. Do not let any woman share a domicile with you. The courts view that as the 'matrimonial home' - whether you are married or not - and she is entitled to half of it.

Have a friend. Have a soul mate. But DO NOT ever let it go beyond that. Make sure there are two totally separate domiciles.

By the way, pre-nups are not worth the paper they are written on. Like Wills they can and have been overturned by the courts strictly on the basis of some judge saying that he didn't think it was fair and that the one signing party didn’t fully understand the intent or stipulations of the document. Wills have been overturned in Canada many years after they were written. One recent example in B.C. - a man spilt with his wife when the children were young. The two boys went with the father, the daughter with the mother. There was absolutely no contact between them for many years. The man had written will leaving his estate to his sons. The daughter (biological anyway) found out about her biological father’s death and found out she was left out of the will. She sued and even though there had been no contact for many years the judge ruled in her favour and overturned the will saying that the will violated women's inheritance rights and was sexist and therefore awarded her a large portion of the estate.


Divorce settlements are also never final. A man and a woman got married in their twenties, had no children, had more or less reasonable jobs, nothing fancy and got divorced before they were thirty. A settlement was reached, everything was paid up and they went their own ways. No further contact. In his middle forties he went back to school, got a degree in psychiatry and became a practicing psychiatrist. He established a very successful practice and was bringing in over $250, 000 per year. Ex wife found out and sued for a portion of his new income. She won - the judge (This was in Canada I believe) ruled that a divorce settlement is never final and can be amended by the courts at any time for the entire lives of the formerly wed individuals.

In the end it is your decision but if you never listen to any other advice form me please listen to this; NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER GET MARRIED IN ANY SHAPE, WAY OR FORM.

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bpeter11
Nov 24, 2012 2:17AM
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"You may have to go out of your way to maintain a life separate from your guy."

I laughed out loud.  "Dependence is tempting..."?  What is this, 1955?
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RogerOne0
Nov 24, 2012 5:33AM
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Whoever wrote this must be getting kick backs from the diamond industry. You don't need a ring to get engaged or married.

It's actually his ring, not her ring, it's up to him to pick it, the guy need to do things a few things right and ask a few subtle questions as to what she likes and dislikes, does she prefer gold? Pick this ring not for an individual woman but the person who will marry. Which may not be the individual you are dating right now.

Don't, what ever you do, let her pick it. She doesn't need to like the ring as much as love you and trust you to do something this simple correctly without her controlling everything... My friend had a girl who endlessly hounded him to buy her a ring that she knew he could not afford and then magically she loses it when she dumped him... A lawyer will cause embarishment and cost more to get the ring back... So he walks away without it.

If she doesn't like the ring, 100 percent of the time it's simply because she doesn't love you. If she says no, you can easily keep it or at least the diamond and have it set up later for the future mrs right.

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Jack Rackham
Nov 24, 2012 1:15AM
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I'm a dude and I'm going to marry a girl, but I still can't believe how 'straight' this is. Really, MSN, only straight people get married still? 
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Boe Dillard (Quick Boarder)
Nov 23, 2012 8:15PM
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Rule #1  Unmarried women can be amazing - loving, kind, generous, caring, emotionally connected and often put your needs first.

 

Rule #2 Married women tend to lose all the wonderful properties found in Rule #1

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RogerOne0
Nov 24, 2012 12:21AM
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Obviously the person who wrote this is not married and does not have a clue about being married. 90+ percent wrong or simply selfish in nearly all comments. Marriage is about we, NOT me.

 

 It is NOT ok to change an engagement ring! It simply is not your's to change. You simply don't own it. If the marriage does not go thru you must, return it (unless your pregnant and cry foul). When you die after 40+ years together, he still gets it back... the ring physically has nothing to do with a single woman other than marking sexual territory to other suitors to speak now or... and everything to do with the honor of the man giving it and woman accepting it, as a psycological commitment to marriage.

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R T (DaddyDrama)
Nov 24, 2012 5:41AM
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Look at that picture.  He's thinking Wow she's great!

 

She's thinking SUCKER!!!

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fedupwithIllinois
Nov 23, 2012 8:06PM
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Only need to know one thing STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, RIGHT NOW!
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abbyt
Mar 14, 2013 2:41PM
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Having been married for 45 years, I can be considered the "voice of reason." Nobody is in love every minute of every day.  "Soul mates" don't exist.....people just think they SHOULD.   Best to consider what goals you share rather than how HOT the other person is.  Speak up, speak up, speak up, whether it is a minor disagreement on the 10th date or comments by your father-in-law that you consider offensive.  None of the annoyances are going to get better by trying to avoid them.  Let the other person (your spouse....duh!) know that you admire, appreciate, respect them as much and as often as you can.  Marriage is a tough, but good job.  Flattery and consideration and kindness make it a whole lot better!  Appreciate what you have.
Someday, one of you will be "alone" and wishing the other person was still there.
I still have my Bill, but one of us will be left sooner or later.  Take care of yourself and learn all you can about creating a good life together.  Never try to manipulate the other person.....that is disrespectful.  Forgive and move on when misunderstandings lead to hurt feelings.  Get over it!
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best is in the middle
Jan 25, 2013 8:05PM
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why people marry then expect the extraordinary beats me..

i thought marriage was about uniting two people who love each other and wanna grow old together, accepting each other's goods, bads and uglies.. maybe it's just my way of thinking.. however so, 12 and going strong

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no ethonol please
Nov 24, 2012 12:42AM
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.  dont get married.  period!   unless you have a very very strong desire to become a father.  even at that, you may consider getting into coaching or reffing or mentoring..  its womens job to get married.  they dont love you..its just what society and mother nature tells them to do.  us?   we will always cheat and want more.  so why get married.? there are MILLIONS of desparate women....especially middle aged ones.  DO NOT GET MARRIED.  

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Kalika Vissia
Nov 24, 2012 1:32AM
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Your day-to-day life won't change much? Obviously we are assuming that the couple is co-habitating already, which isn't always, and shouldn't be, the case.
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