Woman standing on balcony(Photo: Courtesy of Cosmopolitan)

1. Call him every time you think about him. If your ex pops into your head every seven minutes, we wouldn't be too concerned. (After all, how can you not think about the guy when your song comes on/when you find his shirt in your laundry/when someone quotes a line from the last movie you saw together/when the woman in front of you at the deli orders a sandwich with his favorite deli meat.) But if you're actually dialing your ex's number every seven minutes, like von Stalkerson did, you need to reel in the crazy.

2. Share every up and down of your emotional roller coaster on Facebook. That goes double for thinly veiled postings. Because, this just in: Evvverybody knows exactly what you're talking about when you write, "Some people will always be a-holes" or "Everything happens for a reason". And it makes you look like you haven't moved on and won't anytime soon. Repeat after us: Facebook is not my diary, Facebook is not my dairy, Facebook is not my diary...

3. Get a haircut. We've said it before and we'll say it again: Go to the salon post-breakup and you could walk out looking like Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men. What's worse than being newly single? Being newly single with a bowl cut. Wait till you're in a slightly less stressed zone before you make any major changes to your look. (That means avoiding tattoo parlors too, obviously.)

4. Throw yourself into the arms of another guy. Let us be perfectly clear: We're fine with you throwing yourself into the bed of another man (hey, enjoy your newfound sexual freedom); we just don't think you should get all emotional with a new dude and jump right into another relationship. We know you're aching to be half of a twosome again, but letting the proverbial body get cold first will seriously up the chances that your next relationship will last.

5. Try to be "just friends" right away. We've developed an easy quiz to figure out if you're ready to be his buddy. Would you be totally cool hearing him talk about a new girl he's into? One point for yes. Two points for heeeell no. If you have more than one point, being friends is out of the question.