270 Seconds to a Better Marriage

Jim Fannin is an expert adviser to athletes and CEOs on mental performance. Here, he applies his sure-fire rules to getting a more satisfying relationship.

Morning

$Photo: Gina Cholick \ Getty$

First thing, take ninety seconds to give her the greatest good morning possible: "Good morning. I love you." And if she's asleep, you can lower your voice and whisper, "I love you. Have an awesome day." She'll hear you anyway.

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1 of 6 Photo: Gina Cholick \ Getty

After Work

$Photo: Charles Gullung \ Getty$

Right when you get home, focus on her for a full ninety seconds. If she's happy, you go happy; if she's low, you go low, and make sure you look her in the eyes long enough to discern her eye color. This says, I value you, I need you.

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Night

$Photo: Alto \ Frederic Cirou \ Getty$

Sometime during the last thirty minutes before bed, take ninety seconds to engage fully with her. Do not talk about children, money, or work. Don't talk about the past at all. Look at her, stroke her hair, snuggle up to her, tell her you love her.

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3 of 6 Photo: Alto \ Frederic Cirou \ Getty

Conclusion

"270 Seconds to a Better Marriage" // Couple holding hands

Ninety seconds in the morning, ninety seconds after work (or any time you've been away from her for at least two hours), and ninety seconds at night. That's how you bond. After seven to ten days, the marriage will change.

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Sep 28, 2012 2:29PM

this is how I got by for 25 years. I take time to listen to her concerns. I express mine. I negotiate everything but get firm when it matters. I handle her softly usually but will push her up against a wall with authority to get a passionate hard kiss. I worked heavy construction for 20 years so when I do things, I get aggressive and don't cry over scrapes and bruises. I flip the coin and surprise her with a candle light dinner and a glass of wine under the stars when she gets home from work. I encourage her to have ladies night so she has her freedom. I also get mine. Don't overuse the word "love". Then it seems like just habit. Change it up with "how is it that with all the men out there that could have gotten you, I got to be the lucky one" or "just simply, "you look phenominal in that dress". And I would also say, turn off the damn tv, computer and stop texting. Spend an evening once a week with wine, soft music, dim lights, and great conversation. leave finances, work, and family out of it. I never judge success by a bank account. Your most prized possessions are right in front of you. I'm 42 and have been with my wife for 25 years. This has worked for me and she still looks at me sometimes like we're still just dating. it;s awesome.

270 Seconds to a Better Marriage

Morning

After Work

Night

Conclusion

love: friendship, dating, sex & marriage