10 ways to have 'Fifty Shades of Grey' sex tonight
Bring 'Fifty Shades of Grey' into your bedroom
"Fifty Shades of Grey" has women talking—and thinking—a lot more about sex. But, it also has many of us feeling inferior. A recent Goodinbed.com poll found that 50 percent of people are bored in their relationships, and crave more sexual adventure. So how can you turn your love life into the stuff of fantasy literature, even if your idea of a "playroom" houses your kids' toys? Read on for 10 moves you'll want to try ASAP. Feel free to forward them to your guy to get his wheels spinning...
The best place to start: with Christian and Ana themselves. Ian Kerner, founder of Good in Bed and author of the new book, "The Big Book of Sex", suggests reading your partner a passage of "Fifty Shades of Grey", or another piece of erotic literature that turns you on. Although going beyond missionary position might push you both out of your comfort zones initially, it could ultimately put you into a better place as a couple–so long as you agree on a safe-word beforehand.
"By experiencing [these] together, they help build trust and enhance intimacy in your relationship," says Kerner.
Tying one on
The fantasy of submission and domination is very popular, says Kerner, and not just because of "Fifty Shades of Grey". Women are more often than ever working in positions of power and are used to caring for the house, so it's not surprising a take-charge attitude might be attractive in a partner.
"The idea of being taken and submitting to authority and not having to make the decisions can be very appealing," says Kerner.
Don't have any handcuffs handy (um, us either)? Take a cue from Mr. Grey and have your husband use one of his ties to bind your hands or affix them to the bed, or do the same to him with one of your scarves.
“By minimizing one sense (sight), you potentially enhance your other senses, such as touch,” explains Kerner.
Blindfolding can also spur your imagination. The person who can see should have some surprises at the ready (a feather tickler, an ice cube, or a vibrator, for example) to stimulate other senses and to create a build-up to intercourse.
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Feel the freeze
Our skin is our biggest sex organ and stimulating it can enhance pleasure or even lead to orgasm, says Kerner.
Rubbing ice cubes on your partner's skin creates a sexual jolt—a sensation that can be uncomfortable, but not exactly painful.
“It’s exciting because you can submit to someone without experiencing actual pain,” says Kerner.
Bonus tip: Put ice cubes in your mouth before performing oral sex to really heat things up.
Get your engines revving
You don't have to be a NASCAR fan to love the high-speed car chase scene followed by Ana mounting Christian. And don't worry—we're not suggesting you engage in risky road "behavior." Focus on driving—then park and focus on each other.
"The allure of car sex is about being an exhibitionist; you could get caught and that's hot," says Kerner.
So if the last time you got busy in the backseat Meatloaf playing on the tape deck, it's time to try again. Since cars aren't exactly king-size beds, try oral sex or even an old-school make-out session.
Ana inserts Ben Wa balls before going to out to dinner with Christian and every time she moves, they build her desire. Sounds sexy, but it's not exactly realistic for most of us. Something we all can do? Spend more time on foreplay—without or without toys.
"Foreplay actually can open you and your partner up to a deeper sexual intimacy because it makes sex more about fun and less about just achieving orgasm,” says Kerner.
You can also "forget" to wear your panties on your next date night, and casually mention it to your guy once you’re out. Foreplay? All figured out.
Be a little naughty
Mr. Grey was right about this one: A little spanking can actually enhance your orgasm.
That's because both pain and pleasure have the ability to make your brain release dopamine — a potent hormone that gives you that intoxicating feeling of passion and helps dull pain. Nervous about this naughty tip? Kerner suggests incorporating light spanking into foreplay or intercourse more naturally; perhaps if your partner is taking you from behind, ask for a little smack.
Get clean and dirty
Ana and Christian took shower sex to a whole other level than seems possible in real life. As Elaine from Seinfeld said, "Sex in the shower— that doesn't work!" That's because "water actually decreases your natural lubrication," says Kerner.
But if you're feeling like sex while sudsing up, try this: Let your guy approach you from behind while you are facing the wall. Steady yourself by placing your hands on the shower wall. And get a good shower mat so you don't end up in the ER (so not sexy).
Be open to 'off-limits' ideas
Stainless steel butt plugs? Uh, right. But your butt shouldn't necessarily be off-limits altogether.
"The anus and perineum (the area just below your vagina opening) is rife with nerve endings," says Kerner.
Start out by asking your guy to massage the area during foreplay or while you're having sex. Then, with a little lube, he can insert his pinky finger.
"You will definitely have a more intense orgasm," says Kerner.
Do it everywhere— but bed
One of the first and most exhilarating sex scenes was when Christian takes Ana on his office desk. While few of us have desks or tables that can hold the weight of two people (plus we don't have Mrs. Jones to clean up after us), the idea here is less about doing it on a desk and more about acting on your sexual impulses. If you're alone in the house, make your move when and where you feel like it. Pull your guy into the coat closet for a passionate kiss, or shove him up against the wall for good groping.
"A quickie doesn't have to be full-on intercourse or lead to an orgasm," says Kerner.
"In fact, it's better if it builds physical and psychological anticipation that can lead to hotter sex later."