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10 First Date Mistakes He'll Judge You For

Dates are a tricky thing, especially first dates. They can be nerve wrecking, leaving men and women alike full of anxiety and confusion as they try to formulate a way of making a good first impression. By Kevin Carr
Essence // Essence

Don't Blow It!

10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

The last thing any woman wants to do the night she has a hot date with a guy she's into is blow it. Before settling down and finding love, relationship expert Kevin Carr went on a lot of dates, and he says, women often make the same mistakes. Here are 10 he says you can, and should avoid.

©Essence
1 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

Location, Location, Location!

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

Absolutely no first dates in the living room -- yours or his. This sends the wrong message to a man. It tells him that you are entirely too comfortable too soon. If you spend the first date on his couch, where will you spend the second?

2 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

What Time IS It?

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

Grandma said it best: "Ain't nothing open after midnight but legs." The later the hour the more relaxed you become. This makes it especially hard to pay attention to detail, which is imperative on a first date. Plus, dates scheduled earlier in the day allow for more flexibility. For example, if you hit it off, you may want to add another activity to the date that wasn't originally planned. Can you do that at 2 a.m.?

3 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

Clothes Are Required

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

Men are visual. The first thing we see often determines the first thing we think, so remember to dress appropriately on a first date. Yes, be sexy, but don't let it all hang out. Leave something for the imagination; guessing is a good thing, as it will add to a man's intrigue.

4 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

No Job Interviews

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

"Where do you work?" "How much do you make?" "What are your future plans?" No one likes to be interrogated on a first date. Cultivating conversation and listening intently will reveal everything that you need to know about him. Give it time.

5 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

Ditch the Attitude

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

Believe it or not, men are often nervous on first dates too. Smile and be approachable. He is busy trying to make a good first impression with you, so throw him a bone. [Unless, of course, he's a dog and then he had it coming.]

6 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

No M-Bombs!

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

Watch those "m-bombs" on date one, ladies. Take it easy. Too serious and intimate of a conversation can potentially scare him off.

7 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

Let's Talk About Sex

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

Just not on the first date. Your conversation tells a lot about where your mind is and reveals pieces of your character. Men observe this and act accordingly. Conversation goes a long way in creating the perceptions of the mind. Remember that.

8 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

Check Your Insecurities At the Door

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

For men, insecurity can be either a turn on or a turn off. Either way, you lose. It is important to be sure of yourself. Confidence is contagious but the absence of it cannot be hidden. Be confident in who you are. A real man will find that sexy!

9 of 12 Photo: Getty Images

Go Home Alone

Previous Slide 10 First Date Mistakes He Will Judge You For Next Slide

It's true, we are all adults, and we have the right to do what we please with our bodies. That said, when you're looking to establish a healthy relationship, sex on the first date is a very bad idea. If you give him all of you, all at once, he has no incentive to pursue you further. You deserve better.

10 of 12 Photo: Getty Images
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bertis m
Sep 2, 2012 2:00PM
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I always offer to pay on first date, most of the time the guy decline, I believe that it can go both way...
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Szwrld
Sep 2, 2012 4:54PM
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Why is everything concerning dating geared towards women? I know it may be hard to believe, but not all women are concerned with finding the perfect man.
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howardinmemphis
Sep 2, 2012 11:32AM
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This is a very good photo.  The textures.  The use of color.  This works. 
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TENNSUMITSUMA
Oct 6, 2012 4:46AM
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the moment i saw the first slide i knew it wasnt a man that wrote this (hetero manly to be specific)

 

the moment i saw the 'real man' shaming tactic, i knew for absolute fact.

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Chef Russ
Sep 2, 2012 10:30PM
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Is this supposed to be about dating black people? Nothing in the text indicates it but the photos do. This makes no sense.
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Dr X -- Anywhere USA
Sep 4, 2012 12:03PM
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Re: My Post at Sunday 1:03 p.m. .....

You gals expect ME to take out 3 - 5 new women a month and blow all my discretionary entertainment money on you ?? ... even when it's obvious you are A) a nut job , B) totally  incompatible with me , or C) just using me to get a free meal ??

I can usually tell pretty early on how the date is going and as soon as it's obvious it's gonna be a bust , I order an expensive wine , the most expensive entree , and if you are REALLY a jerk ,, another dinner and dessert to go

Speaking of 'just desserts' ,, you chicks in category 'C' above genuinely DESERVE this treatment ... how many other guys have you done this to ?? It's called KARMA ,, sweetie !!
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Someone
Sep 2, 2012 5:10PM
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Another racist MSN slideshow showcase ! awesome!
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AdzSays
Sep 2, 2012 10:25AM
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I love how beautiful black people were used in the pictures! As a colored person myself, I can actually relate to these more :)
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Dr X -- Anywhere USA
Sep 2, 2012 1:03PM
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The woman always expects the guy to pay for the 1st date and that can get expensive if your date is at a restaurant which it usually is. So here is what I do

 

I carry TWO credit cards... a real one in my shirt pocket and one that I cancelled in my wallet. If the date goes well , I pull out the good one and pay. But if it goes poorly , I pull out my wallet and Surprise! the card is rejected. So I ask to 'borrow' the girl's card and then I just never call or see her again

 

On the rare occasion where SHE doesn't have a valid CC ,, I 'suddenly remember' a card I "keep in the car" ... then I just walk out and drive away , stranding her there

 

What happens to my date ?? Who cares !! Nobody likes her anyway .....

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