Researcher Says 'Nagging is the Enemy of Love'Oh dear. As if we didn’t have enough to worry about, now us ladies need to chill with the nagging...
Take out the trash, don't forget your doctor's appointment, do you HAVE to strip off all of your clothes as soon as you come through the door and leave a trail through the house of dirty socks. That last one is a true story and, if I may be hyperbolic, the most annoying thing ever.
Sound familiar? It does to me, unfortunately. And now an article published in the "Wall Street Journal" says that nagging is more pervasive than cheating and just as damaging. The article states:
"Nagging -- the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed -- is an issue every couple will grapple with at some point. While the word itself can provoke chuckles and eye-rolling, the dynamic can potentially be as dangerous to a marriage as adultery or bad finances. Experts say it is exactly the type of toxic communication that can eventually sink a relationship."
Citing a study by researcher, professor and co-founder of the Center for Marital and Family Studies Dr. Howard Markham, the author points out that wives aren't the only ones to do the nagging; however, it also says that women are more likely to be the provokers mainly due to the fact that, in most cases, they run the households. What do they expect? We have to remind them because they don't want to listen. Ugh.
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But the facts are facts. Dr. Markham found "that couples who became unhappy five years into their marriage had a roughly 20 percent increase in negative communication patterns consistent with nagging, and a 12 percent decrease in positive communication. 'Nagging is an enemy of love, if allowed to persist,' Dr. Markman says."
Luckily, it's not all bad news: It is possible to work on communication patterns that are more productive. According to the WSJ, "The first step in curbing the nagging cycle, experts say, is to admit that you are stuck in a bad pattern. You are fighting about fighting. You need to work to understand what makes the other person tick."
Good to know. I also think it's important to catch yourself when you're being too much of a pest. I admit sometimes I am guilty of the above, and I know how how much it bothers me when my mom tells me the same thing over and over. It makes me feel like a kid who can't be trusted to be on top of my responsibilities. I don't want to make my partner feel that way and somehow he made it to this point without my help, so I'm going to watch myself. Not because of him, per se, but because of how I feel when I'm doing it -- which is like a crazy person.
Are you a nag? Tell the truth... Do you find yourself asking your significant other to help you with something more than once? Do you do it because you don't think you're being heard? Is your Mom a nagger? Do you think this study has legs?
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