5 of the weirdest dating advice column questions

Advice columnist Dr. Cary received a strange question from a phone-sex operator. "I met this guy on the phone line five years ago," Telephone Temptress wrote.

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"He is very much in love with my character … the problem is I don’t look anything like the character." She wondered whether she should quit her job and her relationship or just tell her telephone lover the truth.

Dr. Cary's straightforward answer: "I suggest you quit and move!"

-- By Kristin Wong

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So Incredibly Humiliated wrote into Slate’s “Dear Prudence” column to reveal an embarrassing post-coital situation with her boyfriend. She wrote: "We made love and fell asleep naked next to each other. Then, in the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of my own fart ... I’m sure he heard it, because he is a light sleeper. I don’t know if I should talk about it … What should I do?"

Prudie advised the gassy gal to put the incident behind her. "It’s not worth mentioning," she responded. Perhaps earplugs would also help.

The late and legendary advice columnist Abigail Van Buren received some doozies over the years.

Video: Silly sex euphemisms

One question involved the sexual orientation of a jaguar. A couple attempted to breed their exotic cat, but to their dismay, he wasn't interested in his arranged partner. "My wife says she thinks our cat is a homosexual," Serious in Florida wrote. "Abby, have you ever heard of a gay cat? I'd really like to know."

Abby consulted a veterinarian who told her, simply, "some cats refuse to breed in captivity." Gay or straight, even jaguars need a little romance.

Poor Second to His Sister. She was so excited about her "amazing and sweet" boyfriend of six months—until she met his sibling. "He constantly had his arm around her or was holding her hand (and sometimes mine, simultaneously)," the girlfriend wrote to The Frisky's Wendy Atterberry. "The 'pet name' that he calls me turned out to be a variation on his nickname for her." What's more, the boyfriend used his "flirtatious moves" on his sister, too. "Play wrestling, tickling, picking me up, etc. were also things that he did with her! It felt … bizarre."

How did Wendy tackle this one?  "You can only hope that in expressing your discomfort, he will say something to put you at ease and change his behavior," she advised.

Another “Dear Abby” gem involved a young girl concerned with her crush's knitting hobby. "I would really like to get to know him better but my dorm sisters tell me there must be something wrong with him. Can a boy be normal and knit in public?"

"He certainly can," Abby responded. "And any male who knits in public is obviously masculine enough to defend himself."