JWoww: I can't stand girls who are "best friends" to people's faces and then talk s-t behind their backs.
Snooki: Especially girls who say, "Oh, you look hot," when really you don't, just because they want to look better.
JWoww: Yeah -- she'll call me out if I look like a mom. She'll be like, "Show boob. Show more boob." And she's always right.
DO respect each other's opinions about men.
Snooki: I always make sure the guy I'm seeing meets her before I fall in love. It's important to know what she thinks of him.
JWoww: You're like, "Say this if you like him, and say that if you don't."
Snooki: Yeah or "Scratch your eye."
JWoww: You have to introduce your boyfriends to each other right away. If you don't, it's easy to get in one of those situations where you feel like you're choosing a boyfriend over your best friend. Get her input.
DON'T try to make the friendship a democracy if a dictatorship works.
Snooki: She usually makes the decisions in our relationship. She wears the pants. She's more of a planning person. I'm more spontaneous.
JWoww: She'll wait until she's starving to decide where to eat.
DO cultivate a Culture of Two...
Snooki: We have inside jokes, and you'll never know what they are.
JWoww: Facial expressions. We've done them for years.
Snooki: We'll never tell.
...and give each other nicknames.
Snooki: We call each other Boo-Boo. Or I call her Poop.
JWoww: Poop, Poo-Poo.
Snooki: Yeah, I never say JWoww.
JWoww: I never say Snooki.
DO make a display of your affection.
Snooki: We kiss on the lips.
JWoww: It's normal for us.
Snooki: Yeah, it's kind of like saying, "I love you."
JWoww: We have no shame. We hug, we spoon, we sleep in the same bed, text each other 5,000 times a day.
DON'T think short-term. Instead, plan two decades ahead...
JWoww: I want our kids to end up together so we can be in-laws. I haven't even had a kid yet, but I already know my grandchild is going to have Snooki blood in it.
Snooki: That's scary.
...or maybe even five.
Snooki: We'll definitely be friends 50 years from now.
JWoww: Probably sharing the same room in the nursing home, talking about the days at the Shore and grabbing the nurses' asses.
Snooki: Playing pranks on the old men. Yeah, we'll be friends.
JWoww: Oh, 100 percent.
