How to sell yourself at work (and not feel sleazy)

A lot of women I've met are insanely talented, but for some reason they just don't think they're good enough. Remember: If you have passion, drive, and commitment, you also already have the advantage. So talk with your colleagues and keep a list of your accomplishments, including anything you've done above and beyond your job description, and look at it when you doubt yourself. Then use it as your cheat sheet when asking for a raise.

 When you have people over for dinner, you don't try a new recipe and say, “What do you think?” You make something you know is good because you've cooked it 20 times, so the question sounds like “How good is that?” You're looking for that tone when you schmooze a higher-up. Say, “Listen, you have to check out this project. It's just unbelievable what we've pulled together, and I'm so proud of the results.” You're not asking for validation. You're showing your energy, enthusiasm, and confidence.

If someone sends me a sweatshirt, and I wear it for an appearance on, say, Ellen, I ask my assistant to let the sender know. You can try this trick too: If you do something that benefits the boss or the company, speak up. You're saying, “I get sh-t done for you.” It's not gratuitous; it's information your supervisor can use.

Women can be mean girls, or we can be total cheerleaders. When it comes to work, choose the latter. Be generous with praise, and tell others what they're good at; they'll do the same for you (unless they're sick). Just trust me on this. It shows you're management material, builds trust with your peers, and gets you serious karma points.

Bethenny Frankel is the founder of the Skinnygirl brand and the author of Skinnydipping.