Each week, Miss Manners answers questions exclusively from the MSN audience on all of your etiquette dilemmas. (Have an issue you want help with? Send in a question today.) Read on for this week's hot topics:
DEAR MISS MANNERS,
Recently, my roommate and I had several people over to our house to play board games. In the particular set-up we had, my turns were taking a little longer and I wasn't quite sure of what the rules were, so I made several mistakes.
My roommate, whose turn was after mine, became very exasperated with me. She started making comments of how long my turns were taking.
I was feeling very upset at her rude comments, so I decided to just resign the game. I left and sat in my bedroom while they finished playing the game.
One of the other players said, "Oh, please don't resign," but I had made my decision.
Did I do the right thing? As a co-hostess, my job is to make sure the other people are having fun, and my leaving did make another player upset.
I could have continued to play as I was, and continued to receive her barbs. I also could have tried to shorten my turns by purposely not playing as well as I could have. This may have stopped her comments, and also would not have upset other players. However, it seems like it would be hard to purposely play badly and not have it be noticed.
GENTLE READER,
Nice try, suggesting that running off to your room to sulk is a courtesy to your guests. It is not. However much gossip material they got from the spat between you and your roommate, Miss Manners assures you that they were embarrassed to witness it.
You could have waited until neither you nor your roommate was having a turn and said you needed her in the kitchen for a minute, at which time you could have told her to cut it out. Or you could have resigned cheerfully, saying, "I know, I'm not really good at this, and anyway, I'd rather watch. Can I freshen anyone's drink?"-- and had it out with your roommate after the guests had left.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS,
My husband said to say " I do not care for ham." I say, "I do not like ham." Which is the proper expression?
GENTLE READER,
May Miss Manners assume that these are proposed answers to an offer of ham, and not an unprompted declaration?
In that case, the proper expression is "No, thank you."
Send Miss Manners a question
Judith Martin's latest book is No Vulgar Hotel: The Desire and Pursuit of Venice. She is also the author ofMiss Manners' Guide toExcruciatingly Correct Behavior(Freshly Updated). She and her husband, a scientist and playwright, live in Washington, D.C. They have two perfect children, of course.
