Each week, Miss Manners answers questions exclusively from the MSN audience on all of your etiquette dilemmas. (Have an issue you want help with? Send in a question today.) Read on for this week's hot topics:
DEAR MISS MANNERS,
My son is engaged to a woman who has a lovely 16 year old daughter. Since this young teenager already has two sets of grandparents, what do you suggest as a way to address my husband and myself? Mr. and Mrs. X seems too cold, yet for her to address us by our first names doesn't seem right either.
GENTLE READER,
Ask her. No, wait --don't ask her yet. Miss Manners does not consider the proper time for this to be now, or even when the marriage takes place. It will be when you have established a bit of emotional rapport with the young lady, whenever that takes place.
Until then, allow her to address you formally. It will be all the more charming when you say, "You are like a granddaughter to us, although we realize that you already have two full sets of grandparents. Can we think of something you can call us that you don't already use, but that reflects our attachment to you?"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS,
Is it proper to say "you're welcome" if a dignitary or an employer or a very senior person says thank you to you for an act performed. Somehow doesn't sound right to me.
GENTLE READER,
Why not? Notwithstanding the spread of "No problem," this is the correct answer. Silence is rude, and Miss Manners assures you that any attempt to convey the fact that they should not be grateful because you had no choice about obliging them will not be well received.
Judith Martin's latest book is No Vulgar Hotel: The Desire and Pursuit of Venice. She is also the author ofMiss Manners' Guide toExcruciatingly Correct Behavior(Freshly Updated). She and her husband, a scientist and playwright, live in Washington, D.C. They have two perfect children, of course.
